NeverNotNotes

Episode 19 – High School Golf, Game Show Congress, and Scientology

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Church-of-Scientology-Celebrity-Centre1Show notes by Darryl Asher (09/04/15)

We are part of the Handheld Comedy

Corner of Movie Star and Dicey

The announcer from Starface, Mike Schmidt

Mike is wearing long sleeve wool on a hot day

Jimmy’s mom used to say a sweater would keep you cool

Matt’s dad used to wear a sweater playing tennis to intimidate his opponent

Jimmy says tennis has not gone “extreme” yet

Matt reminds Jimmy of Agassi in jean shorts and pink tights

Mike thinks there should be some kind of fast-paced indoor rock and roll tennis

Mike thinks tennis is devolving because they can’t make new stars

Mike basically shows he knows nothing about tennis by suggesting that the ball is moving slowly (WTF?)

agassi tightsMen’s tennis in 2006 had Roger Federer, Andy Roddick, and Rafael Nadal burning up the courts -Darryl

Jimmy meets the high school golf coach Ken Conner; finds him post-shower nude, drying off in his office

5

Jimmy got kicked off the golf team for correcting the coach about the schedule

There had been a team car wash, and Jimmy reminded the coach that he didn’t show up for the previous year (turns out he wasn’t there becasuse his wife needed brain surgery)

Jimmy got kicked off the team for being a smartass jerk

10

Jimmy humiliates himself by not listening to the coach

Coach had curse-explosive anger issues

Coach yelled at Jimmy for getting hit by a ball

Jimmy saw Coach after he grew up, and was not well received

Matt pulls a beautiful Terminator reference

Matt says he and Mike were accidentally privvy to Jimmy (Skinx) and Danielle’s (Moosh) lovey-nickname laced conversation pre-show

Painful under-table leg-hit

Painful under-table knee-hit

Jimmy is in sudden pain by banging his knee on the table

15

Matt refuses to divulge his wife’s nickname

Jimmy talks about Bob and Tom Show trips to the Bahamas

Jimmy wore a microphone to record his parasailing trip with Danielle, wherein he got sick and repeatedly yelled out “Mooshie!!!!!”

The infamous Mooshie Tape was played in 100 radio markets

Me with my I Hate Jimmy Pardo bumper sticker

Me with my I Hate Jimmy Pardo bumper sticker

Origin story of the I Hate Jimmy Pardo bumper sticker

20

For a self-addressed stamped envelope, you can get one of the bumper stickers, since he has a closet full (Offer expired)

Jimmy went to the Game Show Congress

Matt: Are they ratifying game show law?

Jimmy went because of J. Keith Van Stratten’s live What’s My Line show

25

After initial coldness, some fans started saying hi to Jimmy

Some were nice, others insulting, including a 16 year old looking kid “You’re show was very sub-par, but you were pretty good as the host.”

Jimmy’s imitation of the kid is an awesome Truman Capote

GSN message board had a lot of vocal hatred about Jimmy hosting Funny Money

30

fannie PattiDeutschFanny Flagg and Patti Deutsch on Match Game

Jimmy will be hosting a live Match Game

Kennedy from MTV hosted Friend or Foe, Jimmy and Danielle go to her 4th of July BBQ every year

Jimmy greets Steven Weber from Wings with “HEYYY STEVIE!!!” like an idiot

Matt’s wife worked on Baby Blues, with the voice of Steven Weber, who came to a table read, and was not pleasant

35

Matt was at PetSmart on Pico and saw Jesse Camp, former MTV VeeJay, bagging groceries

Jesse won the VeeJay contest; Dave Holmes should have won, but at least Dave is still working because he is talented

celeb-sighting

Embryonic beginnings of Celebrity Siting

Matt saw Mira Sorvino and Jenna Elfman

40

Jenna Elfman loved Mike’s standup act

Jimmy suspects Jenna was just trying to suck Mike into Scientology

Mike took a Scientology “Personality Test” when he got to L.A.

Jimmy: You know the rules of this show, loosey-goosey!

The Scientology people kept Mike for four hours to try and hook him in

When he was trying to leave, they brought in the hot chick, which Mike saw as a ploy
Jimmy’s skepticism about religion extends to all of them

45

The Scientology Celebrity Center is across the street from the UCB Theater on Franklin in Hollywood

Jimmy wonders why you don’t hear from former Scientologists (We now know why)

Matt defends his clock-watching on the show

Jimmy: Chicago’s Greatest Hits is still considered Chicago IX

Plugs:
Starface / AST / fanclub@jimmypardo.com

Proud to be part of the Handheld Comedy Family

Onnnnn podcast!