Kumail Nanjiani – Mint snake victim
In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher
—— DARRYL’S NOTES (due to Garon being held hostage by Sprint) ———–
Darryl and Jenn Asher are here
Probably not appropriate to call it a shout-out when I’m actually sitting right there, but I like to use this icon, and it’s my website
Darryl is sitting in for Garon because he is held hostage at a Sprint store
Garon: good hostage?
My incredible Garon impression ::click:: ::sigh:: ::mumble:: ::click::
We brought Jenn’s jar cakes!
4:00 – Matt falls for my snake in the mint can, resulting in Eliot getting yelled at, and Jenn and I get called by “Motherfuckers” by Matt
GIF Courtesy of @VineyPardo on Twitter
Freeze frame courtesy of @NnfFace on Twitter
WAY TOO LONG BACKSTORY ABOUT THE SNAKE-IN-A-CAN, AND WHY I EVEN HAD ONE
Some of you might know that in a “former life” I was a (part time) comedy magician. For reasons too boring to explain, I bought the snake-in-a-can because in one routine with an audience volunteer, I have some comedic by-play in which I offer a mint. About half the time, the volunteer doesn’t fall for it, knowing exactly what’s in the can. Either way, it was a stupid but funny throw-away part of the routine, the point of which was to make ME look like an idiot.
I have not performed in about 20 years, but my props are in a box in my basement. When my lovely bride Jenn decided to make jar-cakes for the guys, for some reason my long-forgotten snake-in-a-can came to mind, and I rescued it from my prop box, figuring I would just place it with the jar-cakes and see what happened.
BUT… I honestly never thought anyone would fall for it! I assumed Jimmy or Matt would immediately know what it was, and I would be the focus of wrath for daring to bring such a hacky, stupid thing into the professional Never Not Funny Studio. But it worked out better than I could have hoped. After the show I gave it to Jimmy to pass on to Oliver.
You can order your own snake in a mint can here!
Jenn has a black heart
The snake mint can has a retro design (because it really is old)
The cakes are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!! (Seriously, those guys are not just being nice. Jenn’s jar cakes are incredibly delicious)
It’s got a CORE OF CARAMEL!!!!! Jenn thought of everything!!!
Paper shuffling sound-effect on radio: on purpose?
Reminiscing about the Pardcastathon cakes
Jenn comes up with the winning “get Garon to open it” idea
The snake self-detonates on me!
I stand by Jenn’s “spring in his snake” joke, and my mumbling, halting delivery of it
The Carol Burnett “fan mail” bit
Will Lexington on the O.C.
I’m doing Garon’s job ON A PHONE!
The annoying “shut-up!” wine-talking people in the massage Relax Room
“I’ve always wanted to have a Go-Pro wedding”
Matt’s son loved Matt’s friend’s original X-Wing fighter from the 70s
Matt’s family is going to see Star Wars
Chris Carmack said “Welcome to the OC bitch” as Luke (Me doing Garon’s job ON A PHONE!!!!)
Jimmy missed a major plot point in Nashville
Nashville talk continues
Matt and family were on the Disney Cruise
Matt speculates about Jimmy’s possible illegitimate child(ren)
We wish you luck as we do all bastards
I’m better at mic-handling than Garon, but Jimmy just says that to pile on the absent Garon
Maureen McGovern sang Morning After
Eliot got a mysterious email, and makes it more mysterious by deliberately being vague about it
Eliot starts to read the email, but gets interrupted by Garon
Garon enters with his signature sigh
Garon talks about his messed-up schedule
Breaking news: Garon has another job – website moderation
“Hey guys cool it!” “Come on, none of that!”
The teen-based social network that Garon works for is either uncool or really cool
Phone stores take too long for (according to Matt) nefarious reasons
Target is clearing out iPhone cases
Jimmy is uncomforatble with Jenn and me engaging in graphic public displays of hand-holding
Jimmy says that 180 gram vinyl sounds better SONICALLY, as opposed to any other definition of “sounds better”
Garon opens the snake mint can and TOTALLY RUINS IT!
Eliot got the failure on video, though, so there’s that.