NeverNotNotes

Episode 20 – Celebrity Golf and Tear Jerkers with Paul Gilmartin

Paul and Annabelle

Paul and Annabelle

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Show notes by Darryl Asher (09/04/15)

Paul Gilmartin

Always double down!

A proud member of the Handheld Comedy Network

Just south of movie star, just north of dicey

Gorgeous 81.2 degrees, 27.7 Celsius

Mike is skeptical about the Celsius conversion

You remember Childhood Banking Situations? Good show.

A very special episode: Overdraft

Every four episodes, there’s a guest, and Paul Gilmartin is here; first guest, and first repeat guest

Paul is the host of the long running Dinner and a Movie, starting 12th season!

A clip from the Janet Varney era:

Annabelle Gurwitch was the first co-host for seven years

5

Huge problems with Annabelle Gurwitch at the beginning, but now friends

Paul and Annabelle were sent to counseling by the producers

Paul doesn’t want to give details, but it was pretty bad

Dinner and a Movie features recipes with terrible puns based on movies

Steamroller co-host plus Paul’s pompousness assholeness = chemistry

10

Paul has been married 18 years

Paul talks about playing fetch with his dog in the back yard while he spokes a cigar

Jimmy: What are you a Kennedy?

Three years sober but does crystal meth count?

15

Paul’s dumbest drunk stunt: trying the Singin’ in the Rain wall-backflip. He put his leg through the wall.

16 year old Paul was 4′ 10″ and 85 pounds, nicknamed “Mouse”

Be careful what you say about a friend’s sister when drunk

Matt clarifies that he had one beer when he was 18 and fell asleep

Paul’s hockey related injuries and fights

20

Paul is more famous than some of the people on the “celebrity” hockey team

Jimmy doesn’t think he can win any fight

Jimmy has been taking kick-boxing training

Jimmy was a “celebrity” the Nissan Open Celebrity Golf Tournament

Jimmy tried to get Paul to caddy, but got Mike Siegel instead

Mike wasn’t happy

Jimmy overhears the other players talk about his lack of being a celebrity

25

Jimmy jokes with Martin Sheen on the golf course, but doesn’t get the joke

Jimmy was a disappointment as a celebrity and a golfer

Paul has done 15 or 20 celebrity golf tournaments

Jimmy and Matt might just fight

30

NFL Great Franco Harris asked for a picture with Paul

Rudy, the movie

Jimmy’s imitation of the whole Rudy movie: “I’m gonna do it dad! I’m gonna do it bartender! I’m gonna do it sister!”

Spoiler: he does it!

rudyJimmy did that bit in South Bend, Indiana, and Rudy was in the crowd

South Bend doesn’t like Rudy

Jimmy won’t do the Rudy golf tournament. “I’m not gonna do it dad!”

Sean Astin played Rudy and was in Lord of the Rings, of course

Jimmy cries at all feel-good endings

Paul gets angry if he feels manipulated

35

Brian’s Song was the tear-jerker movie when Jimmy was a kid

Something for Joey, Mike’s tear-jerker

Most overwrought sports movie?

Paul: Remember the Titans due to manipulating music

Paul liked Titanic

Jimmy wants to know: what movie does Matt cry at?

Matt doesn’t cry at movies often, but cried at Malcolm X in high school

Jimmy cries at every movie. Did not cry at World Trade Center, but choked up at the written epilogue

40

Paul cried the most at a commercial; a kid picking a puppy up from a pound, and the kid has prosthetic legs

Jimmy cried at Jimmy Smits’ death in NYPD blue

Mike cried at Almost Famous due to nostalgia

Mike didn’t like Elizabethtown; Paul thinks it was hokey

(Awww man… I really like Elizabethtown, not than anyone cares)

Any Jimmy weeper: In Country with Bruce Willis, but not until the end

45

Jimmy has been to the Viet Nam wall in person to see Paul Boyev’s dad’s name

Todd Beamer’s widow’s book (9/11 Let’s Roll guy)

Paul tells a story about someone who died on 9/11; reaction is not good

Matt’s dad always cried at Chariots of Fire, so did Jimmy’s mom, but he doesn’t get why

50

Paul recommends Lorenzo’s Oil for bawling like a baby

Mike cried at Boyz in the Hood

Jimmy used to hang out with Cuba Gooding, Jr. but couldn’t enjoy it because of that

Jimmy liked United 93, but not World Trade Center

Mike says he needs to get his wife something for the 9/11 anniversary

Matt cried at Without Limits, the Prefontaine movie

Mike talks about The Lonliest Runner, a Michael Landon movie about a bed-wetting kid who became a runner

55

Paul’s plugs: back yard, home, not on the road

Paul’s doing his Richard Martin character at Borders

Ask a Republican

Paul does some poetry when he goes out, but is kind of tired of doing it

His poem Tim is about a die-hard Packer fan

Other poems: Undignified Ways to Die; Bad Pickup Lines

Paul has gotten five fan letters from “weird countries” in the last week

Jimmy explains the autographer seeking emails from collectors

1:00

Paul thinks the fan letters were a Never Not Funny set-up

Next time, we need to be ready with bad emails

Oonnnnn podcast!