1314 – Janet Varney, Streaming Live!

Janet Varney

Janet Varney

NNF 1314 – Janet Varney LIVE on LAFFSTER!



00 – Hello and indeed!  We’re here live!  Jimmy liked the live music live announce.  Lots of folks from Laffster.com in the room.   Live on lapster?  Jimmy might roll some heads!  The hammer might come out.   Start laffstering guys!  Jimmy and matt wonder if quibids works.   We get involved with good people!

05 – Mangrate http://www.mangrate.com/.  There is a cookbook called Manifold Destiny that tells how to cook on your car engine.  http://www.amazon.com/Manifold-Destiny-Guide-Cooking-Engine/dp/1416596232.   Prizes to giveaway.   Jimmy wants laughs or he’s cutting this loose!   Jimmy suspects sabotage at a Rainbow Bridge concert when the power cord went out.  The new drummer meant that the magic was gone once K. Paul left.  Lightning in a bottle that summer of 82.

10 – Jimmy and Jody – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jody_Perpick from the Summer of 69.   No Keys in 83 for Rainbow Bridge.   Another reunion in 86!  The keys are back!   Jimmy hid behind the sunglasses at that event.  Laffster is here: Dan, Eric, and Emily.    This is not our 400th episode!  Bad math for Matt.  This is the 374th episode.  Happy thanksgiving Canada!  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving_(Canada)

15 – It took a long time to kill all the Indians according to Matt.  Columbus landed in the Bahamas.    San Fran Chinamen, NY Jews, Golden State Gays, PTown Queers all great team names in honor of the Redskins.  Devil Rays to Rays explanation: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_did_the_Tampa_Bay_Devil_Rays_change_their_name_to_the_Tampa_Bay_Rays

Criss Cross Applesauce instead of indian style for sitting cross legged.   Kid and Play are Christopher “Kid” Reid and Christopher “Play” Martin.

20 – Chicago was on GH 20 years ago!  There is no fight with Adam Carolla!!  Smile Train donations coming in for Laffster.   The FOUNDERS of laffster are here.  Laffster was the only name option.   Jimmy still regrets the Never Not Funny name.

25 – Everyone carries the gun in the back of the pant now. Jimmy says the “ster” is done.   Comedy Clubs quite using LAFF as the last four numbers.  Or maybe not.  Jimmy can’t decide.   Jimmy is calling 1-800-Guffaws and got a sexy lady! He wants confirmation on the sexy voice.   How many people are actually using these phone lines?  Jimmy wants to look further into the chat line.

30 – Jimmy against the slip covers for dvds.    Great print job by Emily.  Hello Theo!!  Jimmy annoyed by the accent, and the connection.  Theo is gonna give a ring back.   Money coming in!  Theo’s back, he’s down in Australia. 705 am down under!

35 – Laffter?  Theo likes the name.  He is a journalism major and engaged.   He asked us to fly to Australia to do the podcast at his wedding.   Kickstarter?   Our guest is here!    I missed some stuff involving Cambodians and greek Italians.  Or Krakatoan according to Matt.

40 – Theo won Nashville, this phone call, and also bought Sprezzatura!  Jimmy can’t decide if he hates theo or loves him.    Jimmy calls it a 7!  Jimmy suggests some steel cut oatmeal.   DO NOT INTERUPT JIMMY!  Unless it’s with a good idea.

Janet Varney is here!!   We’ll be right back!

We’re back!

Awkward countdown from Eliot!  Janet counts down for her intro.  Upgrades end Friday 10/18!  Jimmy saw a great Kojak episode last night.  He picked up seasons 1 and 2 on DVD!

45 – Thin to Win!  What would your food truck be?  591-Rock! 591-Roll!   I go Mongolian, Eric goes Sushi, Dan goes Lobster Roll, Emily goes Belgian Waffles, Eliot goes

50 –  Apparently the 800 guffaws number is in Mongolia (this is probably incorrect).  Jimmy wonders about an ice cream truck.  Janet says a Milkshake truck.    HELLO! – Eliot live on video.  Jimmy banging his head on the mic.   Eliot goes Mexican Flavored Sushi truck.  He incites Jimmy’s hatred.

55 – no criminals on kojak are under the age of 35.   Michael Eisner started in the mail room and according to Paul Gilmartin, “he had good business savvy.”  Matt goes Burger ‘Za.  Which I do not understand what it is.  Triangle shaped burgers?  Oooh it’s a wider burger you slice into pieces and share amongst friends.   Janet maybe changing from a milkshake to a breakfast pizza.    Jimmy will bang his head when the time is right.   We’re gonna get wild and rock it tonight.

Hello Janet Varney!

She’s back to the milkshake except with non-dairy alternatives.   No food truck for Jimmy, they nauseate him.   Matt offers non-food alternatives (records, skateshop, etc.)   Janet suggests a cereal truck.  Jimmy and Janet both have milk issues.

60 – It’s always a risk if Jimmy has Dairy.  He calls it a “crap-shoot.”  Literally.   Jimmy’s opened the floor to questions.   Apparently the mcdonalds ice cream is wheat and soy but others say it has milk.  All the prizes are gone!

65 – Janet was bandaged when she arrived.  Her dog has given her tendonitis.  Whitley is her dog’s name.  She is a rescue!  Had her for 3 months.  Laffster questions!   Janet is the voice of Korra on The Legend of Korra!  She auditioned for it and got it!  They wanted natural voices, not weird voices.  Everyone wants Janet’s input on Chicago and Peter Cetera.  She enjoys Peter Cetera duets.

70 – After All is indeed on the Chances Are soundtrack.  Jimmy does some “Love the one you’re with.”  Lots of booze on the set of Chances Are.  Lots of anger.  Chances Are: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chances_Are_(film)

Jimmy recounts the facebook post someone made about working with Dennis Farina’s cousin.  Janet helps Matt differentiate between Mary Stuart Masterson and Mary Elizabeth Masterantonio.

We’re talking John Hughes soundtracks guys!

75 – Some kind of wonderful soundtrack:

  1. “Do Anything” – Pete Shelley

  2. “Brilliant Mind” – Furniture

  3. “Cry Like This” – Blue Room

  4. I Go Crazy” – Flesh for Lulu

  5. “She Loves Me” – Stephen Duffy

  6. “The Hardest Walk” – The Jesus and Mary Chain

  7. “The Shyest Time” – The Apartments

  8. “Miss Amanda Jones” – The March Violets (rolling stones cover)

  9. “Can’t Help Falling in Love” – Lick the Tins

  10. “Turn to the Sky” – The March Violets


Jimmy listens to this soundtrack once a week when he runs.    Matt says the Kenny Loggins song during the volleyball scene of top gun makes it hard to masturbate to.    This is Janet’s new favorite thing, going through this album with Jimmy.

80 – Jimmy is hitting the high hat!  Either the Jesus and Mary Chain got their name from a Bing Crosby movie or from a cereal packet saying you can send away for a gold jesus & mary chain.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jesus_and_Mary_Chain.  Jimmy wonders if Laffster is gonna drop us a bill for playing these songs.   Matt has become a March Violets fan.

85 – Once a week, he listens to it.  Janet says, “you look good wearing my future.” (quote from the movie).  Jimmy made Oliver laugh so hard when he said some fat Hispanic guy in a Kobe jacket was actually Kobe Bryant.   Laffster Dan got buff.  It’s been since Feb since Jimmy and Janet have seen each other.

90 – They recast Dora 3 times so far (Caitlin Sanchez, Fatima Ptacek, Kathleen Herles).   Menudo cut off is 16.   Janet saw a lot of non-military people wearing camouflage when she visited DC monuments.  All super weird with a super weird energy about them.  Janet thinks that DC doesn’t really look like anywhere else in America.   She thinks it’s very European.  It’s a matter of scale!

95 – We’re still trying to figure out what Janet’s Oliver memory was. Please Come To Boston sung by Dave Loggins, speculated to be Kenny Loggins second cousin.

100 – The only thing being discussed on 1800guffaws is the Dave/Kenny Loggins relationship.  Still trying to find out the Oliver story!  Oliver says his clowny bright skechers are, “more mature.”  Jimmy thinks Cacophony of Joy is a great band name.    Feels the same as Polyphonic Spree according to Janet.    Asked and answered Eliot!

105 – Jimmy sighs.   Matt asks if Jimmy mary stuart masterbated to her.   Jimmy went to nam in 89 and took some shots at those assholes (plastic bb gun) Jimmy put a pellet gun in a bag at the mall and shot people as they walked past (when he was a kid).   Janet suggests a handshake foodtruck!

110 – Oliver is joining the scouts!  Tiger Cub!  The cubs sell their bodies on the streets apparently instead of cookies.   In reality, they sell popcorn!  Jimmy is on board.  Jimmy may have accidentally volunteered to be a co-leader of the scouts.   Winklevoss twins in their den.  Exact twins?    Giving away a season 14!

115 – Jimmy comes out and says he did not actually shoot the pellet gun.  His brother and cousin did it.  He was too much of a pussy to do it.   We have a winner for season 14.  LoveRhino wins it!  Ken Roberts aka Big Money Ken.   Jimmy knew a guy who went to a laker’s game who was upset over Jerry Buss death.

120 – Congrats Big Money Ken!  And Congrats to all the winners!  This is a headstart for Pardcastathon.  Thanks for all your donations!  Will Janet be at Pardcastathon 2013?!?!

Dumbest hour and a half he’s spent with Janet.  Email your stories you think are great for Jimmy to tell on Conan.  He’ll be on November 19!  Go see Cinematic Titanic’s farewell tour on 10/19! MONSTER SQUAD SCREENING!

125 – Great fun doing the life streaming!   Thanks Laffster!!  Jimmy hopes Matt lets them down nicely.   Just say something nice Jimmy!  Everyone says Emily should go Red!  Best of luck Laffster!

130 – Jimmy loved the live stream.  Thanks Janet!!  Lionel Richie at the Bowl on Friday.  Jimmy says that set list is in your face!

We’re out!

My Pleasure,

– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast