NeverNotNotes

1312 – Kumail Nanjani

Kumail Nanjani

Kumail Nanjani

NNF 1312 – Kumail Nanjiani

@kumailn

00 – Hello!  We’re here!  We’re ready.  Jimmy’s a little  under the weather today.  Sickness ping ponging through the house.  Jimmy not on board with chattering teeth as the Malphs are (were?)    Jimmy and Matt not wearing the same shirt just the same color.  Also the same pants.   Chino makes Jimmy think of Chico but NOT the man.   Jimmy is zero emissions   He’s green!

Kumail Nanjiani is heading in.

You never hear about Leroy Brown’s family.   Jimmy singing Julie brown’s homecoming queen with a gun and had to figure out how to explain it to Oliver.  Thanks for the cards Ryan!  We’re gonna give them away…maybe…

05 – Did we get an autographed vcard???  1/660 gets one.  Did we get one?  We aren’t sure.    Apparently not.   Jimmy says it’s AW Barnum.  Andy Barnum.  PTs by marriage nephew.   He’s part of the family, we wish him luck.  Jimmy’s back to the Browns.  Jimmy hit #1 for four days.  Now it’s a rock.   Thank you Jimmy Pardo/NNF fans for making him #1!  He beat some heavy hitters until Gabriel Iglesias fans got their home depot money.

10 – Jimmy was prince everyone else was We are the world.  Jimmy went to see Wizard of Oz on stage.  Andrew Lloyd Webber version.  Oliver loved it and that’s all that matters.  Jimmy thinks it’s too iconic to be redone.   Lots of gays in the theater.  The Scarecrow shouldn’t be gay.    Didn’t work.  Live your life scarecrow!

15 – Matt compares the end of Wizard of Oz to St. Elsewhere. Jimmy compares Chris Hardwick opening the last Talking Bad to a Jim Mclean on Munich.  Jimmy gives the Breaking Bad finale a 9.9.

20 – Oliver loved Wizard of Oz.  Great effects.  “At the same time, who gives a shit.” – Jimmy.   Jimmy thinks Wicked is for non theater people same for Book of Mormon.   Cloudy/Meatball 2 is good according to Jimmy, it’s a kid’s movie.  

25 – Jimmy knows nothing about the We Are The World track listing.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Are_the_World_(album)

Jimmy can’t say Kumail’s name.    Matt can’t take the race humor anymore! Will we make it to season 21 for the Rush 2112 episode!?

We’re bringing it back let’s be professionals!  LET’S BE PROFESSIONALS!

Thanks for the coconut water Purity Organic!  Great acting from Jimmy.

30 – jimmy is getting a very important text message.  Time Passages is All Stewart.  Roger Miller did King of the Road.  Jimmy not a fan of the Coconut Water. Robot is gone!    Halloween 3 info:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_3  Kumail drops some Halloween knowledge!

35 – Brand New Key by Melanie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml1696pN-yE)  Jimmy did 10 miles over the weekend, didn’t hydrate enough.  Got really dehydrated.  Kumail asks if he covered his nipples with tassels.   Running never appealed to Jimmy but now he is into it.  He doesn’t think he’ll go farther than the half marathon.   Kumail thinks that coconut water tastes like water that’s gone bad if it could go bad.

40 – Kumail says Jimmy was taking down pillars of the comedy community.  Kumail says negative Breaking Bad stuff should wait until later.  It’s our time now to celebrate the show.  Kumail loved the wire immediately and breaking bad.  Kumail’s never seen Sopranos or Deadwood (he loves girls). Jimmy describes Girls as the coconut water of telelvision.  “Mark my words, they’ll never make it.”  Classic Jimmy on New Kids on the Block.

45 – Matt contends that New Kids did not have any talent.  Kumail met Jimmy through Dan Kauffman in Chicago at Zanys.    Zanys never really booked Kumail and now he sticks with the clubs he worked in the past.  Matt’s here!

We’re trying to figure out the third show that Kumail did not watch.   Jimmy wants to go back to the Great show he saw Jimmy on at Zanys.   Downtown zanys Jimmy’s least favorite club in the country.  That said he’s there on November 1!

50 – Kumail’s worst shows have all been in Ohio.   Jimmy had great shows in Columbus but won’t work that club anymore.  He will say no more.   Kumail has not watched all of Battlestar Galactica.  Matt needs to be respectful of spoilers.

55 – Kumail says that Matt loses since he mentioned the “continental united states.”   Shows are delayed an additional hour in hawaii.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_time_zones_on_North_American_broadcasting

Kumail tells the story about a trip to Paris when they missed Breaking Bad and they ran into Vince Gilligan at the Louvre.   Jimmy says Bryan Cranston is a really nice guy.   Lamont Cranston is one of the alter egos of The Shadow.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamont_cranston

60 – Dick Tracy looked great horrible movie according to Jimmy.  Kumail’s wife’s favorite band is the Cure.  Jimmy compares Robert Smith to the Joker.  80s Robert Smith, caser romero joker.  Current Robert Smith Heath Ledger Joker.   Jimmy and Danielle stumbled across the Cure doing an acoustic show at the Virgin Records on Sunset years ago.

65 – Billy Corrigan ruined a Bozo show in Chicago.  No reason for him to be there.  40th anniversary bozo show.  The 40th anniversary Bozo show was in 2001.    Jimmy a fan of Jackie Earle Hayley, he was in his favorite movie of all time.   Kumail drops some Freddy Krueger knowledge.

70 – Jimmy reminds Matt to stay off facebook if you’re gonna spoil stuff!  Kumail talks about how Yvette Nicole Brown got attacked for mentioning Donald Glover’s last day of shooting.    Richard Pryor us always with us in spirit.   Jimmy says The Comedy Store is a negative place.  When you walk in it just feels negative.   Jimmy thinks it’s too dark and you can’t interact with the audience.

Comedy Store is allegedly haunted.  It used to be a mob hangout called Ciro’s.

75 – Spinal Tap chatter.  Who cares they’re touring in 2014?  Make another movie.  Jimmy had a picture disc of Christmas With The Devil.  Kumail grew up in a house where music was considered a sin.  He got all of his American knowledge from Mad Magazine (He grew up in Pakistan).   Kumail calls Cracked the Go-bots to Mad Magazine’s transformers.

80 – Kumail got tons of boners from mad magazine’s depiction of boobs.  Then we talk about Ayatollah!   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inQiIkz7J5Y Ayatollah spoof to My Sharona.    Iran indeed released hostages when Regan took office (this is a big conspiracy theory also).  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October_Surprise_conspiracy_theory

http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/jan-20-1981-iran-releases-american-hostages-as-reagan-takes-office/?_r=0

We love everyone!  Except those we do not.

We’ll be back!

We’re back!  Kumail is here, I’m here, the Honcho is here.  We’re taking on the muslims!  Jimmy loves Cat Stevens.  Yusuf Islam.  You don’t have to put the religion in the name – Kumail.

85 – Yusuf’s album was An Other Cup.   Jimmy Matt and Kumail discuss Matt’s Anchor nickname.  Kumail doesn’t know Cat Stevens at all.  Jimmy has no problem with Stand By Me.  “You know the fat kid was Jerry O’Connell.”    WHO WENT TO THE STAMOS/ROMIJN SEX PARTIES?!?!?!?!?!?!

90 – Apparently Apple only hires people with double letter names.  Scott Simpson. Jimmy thinks matt would be a good Apple Genius.  Kumail’s mom called him to find the (.) on the keyboard.  “saw your program” – text from Kumail’s parents after his comedy special.  No other comments.  No other word on it since.   “Super par for the course” for his parents.  Kumail found a review from his mom on amazon.  He’s going to read it to us.   “No end to laughter.”  Another Kumail Mom review:  “Saw Lee Daniels’ The Butler.  Pretty good.”  He was really touched by her review. Kumail’s younger brother works at a bank in Manhattan.

95 – Jimmy declines to answer if he talks feelings with his family.  He doesn’t talk about his family, they didn’t sign up for showbusiness.  “How are things going with the ipad?” – Jimmy’s dad.

100 – We got heavy here.  Matt still wants to know about that third show.  Eliot guesses Fringe to everyone’s laughter.    He then guess The Shield, which appears to be correct!    Everyone agrees that Timothy Olyphant is great.   Kumail was on franklin and bash but not anymore.   NBC: Don’t be a PeaCock about it! – Kumail.  Kumail wrote for SNL for a week!  Says it’s really intense.  He wrote the game of thrones filmed sketch.

105 – Kumail gives some behind the scenes incite to writing for SNL.  All the sketches are written in a fever pitch Tuesday night.  It’s about a 24 hour writing session.  He says it’s amazing!

We’re done!  Kumail!  A Pleasure!

We’ll see you next time!!

My Pleasure,

– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast