1311 – Graham Elwood featuring Sprezzatura
NNF 1311 – Graham Elwood
@grahamelwood
http://www.lapodfest.com
00 – Helllooo everybody. We’re in! No testing for daddy! Eliot is quickdraw now apparently because he cums fast. Release date controversy. Release is THURSDAY. Maybe Wednesday night if you’re lucky. Joe Scarboro is getting fat. Jimmy enjoys the Million Second Quiz. Thanks Appleton and Shelbyville! Hope you enjoy Sprezzatura! Wang dang sweet poontang! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wang_Dang_Sweet_Poontang
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05 – GFCI – Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter is what allows Jimmy to enjoy Bath Toast. Laying in a bath is hard. Not long enough. As an adult, an above ground pool does not hold the appeal as it did when Jimmy was a kid. “One big bucket of sad!”
10 – Too much nonsense with an above ground pool. Jimmy thinks Matt has a great backyard for a pool but vetoes a swing set. Matt would rather just stay inside then go outside and deal with mess. Jimmy likes the idea of going to the park. It’s communal. Graham Elwood is here! NNF will be there on 10/5. Jimmy will be there on 10/4 on Marc Maron’s show and Caleb Bacon’s show. LAPodfest.com.
Jimmy got up early a lot, hardly slept, drove a lot, flew a lot for his stops this weekend. A lot of work to make you assholes happy! On the dallas to LA flight Jimmy sat next to a guy who looked like a giant 50 Cent.
15 – 9 to 5 TV cast http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083377/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm#cast Sally Struthers, Valerie Curtain (Jane’s cousin), Rachel Denison, and Rita Morena.
20 – Sprezzatura is out! Pick it up on itunes! Limited Time Only to upgrade to a physical autographed copy. Astrecords.com! Lots of stuff poppin at ast records! Jimmy’s 50 cent neighbor slept the entire flight with his ticket in his hand. Jimmy fought for the itunes upgrade so appreciate it. Matt and Ryan put his feet to the fire on this!
25 – Get your iTunes upgrade for a LIMITED TIME. Some people don’t have email but they have itunes. Matt and Jimmy do not like the new ios7 calendar!
Jaden Smith is ruining will smith’s career.
The Little Willies are not a supergroup.
30 – It appears that jimmy is admitting to planning 9/11 in order to unite the country which lasted 48 to 50 hours. Enjoy jokes! It’s comedy.
We’ll be back!
We’re back!
Don’t get bent out of shape over Jimmy’s jokes. He loves this country and the flag. Graham bothered by people who think they shouldn’t support the flag because it seems “right wing.” Graham says liberals should be embracing that flag and waving it like crazy. It doesn’t make you a hippy. “Surfing your life away.” Jimmy to Graham.
35 – the most American thing you can do is protest your government per Graham. Take back the flag liberals! Matt wants a superflag of dozens of smaller flags combined into one big flag. Graham’s gone overseas 7 times to do shows for troops.
40 – there used to be a stigma for selling merch after shows. Jimmy was one of the first to sell a CD and was a little nervous about it. Money paid to MCs and feature comics has not increased in 20 years so merch helps. Graham says fans want to buy the merch to show their fandom. Business 101 with Graham Elwood! Jimmy still uncomfortable selling stuff at his shows. He’s gonna get over it.
45 – Goin’ around the horn! Graham is a red white and blue hulk. Stoop wearing scarves in the summer hipsters! (make it stars and stripes). No grown man needs a froofy scarf with a t-shirt and skinny jeans. Jimmy’s ass and thighs do not like the idea of a skinny jean, his calves love it. Where are the right wingers going to go where they speak English and hate gays? Nowhere for them to go. English, conservative, hates gays? Nowhere to go. Jimmy responding to emails publicly. Jimmy enjoys Jar Jar Binks. “He’s a good friend.” Graham lists the benefits of a C-3PO.
50 – Jimmy says Ahmed Best (Jar Jar) is a good guy! Long way to go for a hipster joke. Can’t even write it out. Bon Jovi chat! It’s getting done one way or another. Dead or alive. Richie gone. Tico sidelined by a gall bladder.
55 – Jon Bon Jovi does not show up at fan meet and greets. People pay hundreds of dollars for that and jon doesn’t show up?!
I’ll be at podfest! Eliot will be at indiecade in culver city. Board game/video game convention. Jimmy and fam have been playing Clue! It’s all about winning and losing in the Pardo house. No in between. No trying. Win or don’t come home. Apparently they play life size clue!
60 – Graham lays down some Barry White. Jimmy lays down some Me and Mrs. Jones. Matt wearing a podfest t-shirt.
LA Podfest Oct. 4-6! Jimmy says too many shows! 40 shows this year.
65 – Jimmy thinks it’s good to have a varied collections of shows. Comedy, science, whatever gilmartin is doing, politics.
More tickets to Podfest!! Full weekend passes! Gets you into everything, including the party on Sunday.
Paul D from Cincinnatti! He’s doing a bit and Jimmy cuts him looooooseee. G’bye paul. Jimmy gives some behind the scenes info on choosing match game contestants. Tyler calls in awfully familiar but gets cut loose. Hello Everett from Rapid City! Graham calls him Chief Jimmy scolds him.
70 – Tyler calls back from florida. Professor. Jimmy wants to keep him but the machine over rides Jimmy. So long Tyler. What’s Robin Quiver’s pouch like? Deep! Tyler’s back! “life sucks, suck it up son.” – Jimmy’s dad. “Can’t say I’m surprised.” – graham’s dad re: divorce. Lots of sexy coed chat! Dick through a text book. Corduroy jackets. Jimmy insists his record label job was a real job.
75 – let’s find some space for Matt Adams – Jimmy. Lots of baseball chat I don’t understand. So long tyler! We’re calling someone from Beverly Hills back. Podfest 10/4 – 6 at the Le Méridien Delfina hotel in Santa Monica!
80 – We tried chris. You didn’t answer. We got a voicemail. We got our guy! Anthony/31! Baseball rules to get these tickets. He’s 1/1 right now. ½ for bringing friend cam. Underhand pitching is a ladies game! We lost Anthony.
85 – Podfest guest will be Pat Francis! We’ve found that outside guests have trouble getting their footing at the live shows. Jimmy asks if it is possible for a kid to fall off a cruise ship. Graham says you’d really have to make an effort. He thinks the cruises would be great for families. Jimmy concerned Oliver will go down a slide and right into the ocean. They’re planning a possible Christmas cruise (cheaper than a Christmas resort trip.) $5 soda charge on the cruise?! Add it to the ticket, same with luggage! Stop nickel and diming!
90 – Graham dream vacation a surf trip in the islands. A cruise has a million things to do, really hard to be bored. Jetpacks included!! Graham loves a balcony in his quarters on cruises.
95 – Jimmy took Dramamine on the boat from Long beach to catalina and ended up sleeping on the bench like a hobo while Danielle and Oliver went around the island, King of the Road is sung by Roger Miller. Jimmy uncomfortable having a black man shinning his shoes. He’ll do it if it’s not a black man but if it’s a black guy it makes him uncomfortable.
100 – Cut corporate bonuses!! Jimmy’s decided to buy a yacht. Rent to own/ lease yachts. Yacht lease! Pat Francis joined us in his Mike Reno outfit. Jimmy’s off-hand comment at a game show audition got him the gig. Anthony’s back and he drives a Passat. Jimmy had a Mercedes as a rental car for his drive to Appleton.
105 – Comedy Film Nerds is on Saturday at noon. Doug loves movies on Saturday night after NNF (Saturday 6p)! WTF Friday @ 7 as is Caleb Bacon’s show. Bonnie McFarlane and Joey McEntire will be guests on Comedy Film Nerds at podfest.
Jimmy says Joey Mac is great and was fantastic in the fantastics.
Matt heard that the algorithm is gonna getcha.
Go to Podfest!! Jimmy’s gonna make a sweep during the show and if he sees any NNF memorabilia outside of the squarespace ballroom during NNF HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL. Jimmy welcomes skins. Jimmy is shutting the lab down. 6-730 the lab is closed.
115 – Jimmy sings something. I don’t know what it is. It’s a father/son song. Cat Stevens – Father and Son.
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We’re done!
My Pleasure,
– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast/The Mumbler