1217 – Free Local Pizza with Jesse Thorn

Jesse Thorn - Would you buy a European sports car from this man?

Jesse Thorn – Would you buy a European sports car from this man?

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

For Never Not Funny 1217 Jimmy Pardo welcomes Jesse Thorn



00 – Helloo! Jimmy is mesmerized by the clock. New procedure first 15 clean the rest explicit! Jimmy talking traffic – 405 a parking lot. Traffic started in the 20s or 60s. Gapers block – rubbernecking. Jimmy already broke his new clean 15 rule. Gawkers block is another version of gapers block “alternative term” meaning not as popular as Jimmy’s. Jimmy wishes he and Matt were friends when they were single. Jimmy hates the term chub. Galkers block?

05 – Pop Culture Beast chat! NNF/PCB Merger?? (My podcast is Pop Culture Beast Presents Show) Jimmy serandes us with the Empire Carpet jingle. Jason Collins gay NBA player: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/magazine/news/20130429/jason-collins-gay-nba-player/#all

10 – Jimmy on gay: Live your life put your chaps on dance around! Giving away Fraggle Rock DVD. Jimmy say’s too young for Oliver, who watches Mad Men. Win a Fraggle Rock SIGNED by Oliver. SPECIAL GUEST TIME!

15 – The winner of the Pardcastathon in studio guest auction! Military man with a buffed shoe! Andrew Volker is here! He spent a little over $1500 to win! Jimmy does homoerotic humor. Fraggle flies! Andrew is from Illinois. 2 hours south of chicago 20 minutes north of champagne. guitar city chat! Andrew on dreaming to play with Bob Seger: Don’t We All? Andrew’s dad used to be fire chief of Gibson City, now runs an irish pub pizzaria. Directions to the restaraunt. Get off on Paxton. I’m a pizza chaser, that’s what I do. Pizza Tour planning, Pat Francis needs to be involved. Just got back from Kuwait.

20 – the military in fatigues rule changed a few times. Current status unknown. Jimmy asks what’s in the backpacks – Andrew “all kinds of crap.” Monacles used to be good but’s gone down hill. Giving away a gift certificate for Andrew’s folk’s pizza place, DG Sullivans. Jimmy upset pizza places won’t come to his neighborhood. Dr. Johns, another place. Possible bigotry?

25 – Classic Pardoism! Right out of the act! Andrew was a sergant in the army. He joined up a week before 9/11. Muhhamad Ata loved monacles! Fresh Brothers pizza – Delicious! Jimmy went twice! http://www.freshbrothers.com/

Andrew and his mom heading to spain for a hiking trip. Jimmy thanks andrew for his service and can understand it as he is in the Kiss Army.

30 – in the event of a draft, Jimmy will be running the Rush fan club out of Toledo. Or according to Matt, Toronto the city he meant to say. The pizza tour will start at the Ke$ha pitbull tour. Then we go into This Land Is Your Land.

We’ll be back!

35 – We’re back! about to give away a DG Sullivan’s gift certificate. Jimmy mentions the recently discovered landing gear from 9/11. Here we go. Matt sending out a live tweet right now!

40 – Our guest is a fan and friend of the show! Jesse Thorn is here! They first met back in 2004/2005. Jesse’s aunt and uncle may be soothsayers. But they were big fans of Funny Money. And also fully unimpressed when Jesse told them he was friends with the host, Jimmy. Friends of Jesse’s parents lived on a commune with the guy who created the music chip inside of greeting cards and Patch Adams. Oliver and Matt’s dad are big fans of those greeting cards. White Man’s Burden is John Travolta and Harry Belefonte: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114928/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm#cast

45 – this years Max Fun Drive most successful yet! Several People do $200 a month.

50 – Jesse subscribes, even though he doesn’t have to, because it is one of his favorite podcasts. Jimmy thinks Jesse is a terrific man. Vinnie Boombots! Conan did great at the WH Corespondance dinner. Pizza Hut won’t deliver to Jesse. He also drives a car above his means according to Jimmy : a silver audi TT. He used to have an infiniti convertible (m30)

55 – Tony Hale was in the volkswagon mr. roboto commercials. We’re getting a call! Jesse calls me the Tom Kenny of podcasting. Jimmy buys a new table for $151. Store wants $139 to ship it. delivered by sudan chair carried by legendary baseball players. Jimmy on the high hat again! Jesse says Sheila E. style. Sheila E’s brother, Peter Michael Escovedo, worked on Martin Short and Wayne Brady shows.

60 – Jesse recalls a store where you can order from a catalog and go pick it up. Jimmy tries to remember a famous black person and comes up with Sheila E, who is latina. S&H greenstamps, general store from HR Puffnstuff?

65 – Still looking for that catalog store. Jesse won 2nd place in a costume contest as a man being eaten by a shark.

70 – Matt tries to call back the person who called earlier, no answer but we got another call from Mike in Bakersfield, CA!

75 – Mike works at a theater. Currently playing Identity Thief. Jimmy’s new show: Pizza and Podcaster. Matt’s out of the Pizza Run. Sour Jack’s top selling candy. Coke Zero from a bottle: delicious. From a fountain…not good. Snitch is also playing at Mike’s theater. Escape from Planet Earth (zzzz),, Jack the Giant Slayer.

80 – Also has Hansel and Gretel. Jesse says he met Jeremy Renner and he smelled bad. Several of Jimmy’s exes live in Texas. Jimmy does his radio show! Call after call! Brilliantly funny. Trevor was gonna win a gift card but apparently Jimmy’s slicing instead! Trevor’s an aspiring comedian apparently looking for spots.

85 – Darrel Kile is the player that was found dead in his hotel room.

90 – Trevor is back! Trevor is cut loose and is back again. No prizes for Trevor he wants to open for Jimmy.

95 – New catching tip :pop up – pinky to pinky. Coming atcha thumb to thumb. Also alligator hands. Patrick Roddy almost got the intern job! JImmy asks if i play softball. I question his sanity.

100 -Jimmy reccommends ping pong paddle and tube socks for Jesse’s team name. Max Fun Rockets is the actual team name. Jesse invited Pat Jimmy and Matt. He wanted Wheels! Jesse wants Tuff Softball. Softball with obstacles. Jimmy compares it to Caddyshack 2. Bad News Bears chat!

105 – turns out the original Bad News Bears is not funny but rather depressing. Jimmy thinks he got on the traveling little league team because they thought he was his brother, who was a great player.

Ozzie Consaco info from wikipedia: Canseco appeared on an episode of VH1’s The Surreal Life (Season 5) as a José Canseco impersonator. At the end of the program, it was revealed that he was José’s twin brother. He has also reportedly appeared at baseball card shows and book signings passing himself off as his brother.[4] It was also widely reported by tabloid papers that Ozzie had slept with Jose’s wife while impersonating him

115 – Older baseball player chat. Jimmy Pardo One Man Show II featuring Jimmy and his mom’s walk of shame.

Under Jesse’s picture post Pizza or Movies and you can possibly win a DG Sullivans gift certificate or a Starplex movie ticket.

Remember Pinky to Pinky Thumb to Thumb!

Thanks to Jesse and Andrew!

We’re done!

– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast