NeverNotNotes

1223 – One Ringy Dingy…

ernestineNNF 1223 – No Guest – All NNF Fan Calls!

@NeverNotFunny

http://www.pardcast.com

00 – Yup! Welcome everybody! Bringing you laughs and dissapointment since March 2006. We’re here we have one queer get used to it! Jimmy flew it today and is exhausted. His arms will be tired once he punches matt in the face for asking if his arms were tired. Hank Azaria looks like he has fake pecs. Looks like Along Came Polly was that movie Matt was referring to.

05 – Jimmys flight TO San Jose was delayed. Obama went through verizons records with a fine tooth comb and got jimmy a better deal. Pres was in LA and in San Jose so Jimmy’s flights were all screwed up. JImmy mad matt brought up the santa monica shooting when he was about to bitch about his airplane seat. Who does not use a private jet to get to their gigs and waits for luggage like any other asshole? Eliot guesses Heart (the whole band, all together look like a black man.” – Jimmy) Answer is Bill Cosby! He was doing a show in Cerritos, concenses is it was a great night (according to many of Jimmy’s friends). Couple’s date to see Bill Cosby.

10 – Jimmy might need me to call 91 for his wrist cracking. 911 wont be interested. Tommy John surgery singular. Sexy voices in chicago! Episode 1223! Get your finances in order! The pack is back! Packages are coming back. Two levels. More info coming soon! The listener is the guest today! All about you today. Contests, games, fun! Andrew Volker – The Serviceman. Jimmy’s wanted to do this kind of an episode for a long time. We’re finally doing it. JImmy does not want a ace bandage he wants a paul stanley bandage.

15 – Tense ok loosey goosey not okay for Jimmy’s wrist after that crack. Dice’s lady asked if Jimmy received his podcast troll letter. He thanks her for asking. Dice and Wheel’s got their letter. Dice Man of the Board. In Sunnyvale, Jimmy told a joke using leeroy brown lyrics where a woman in the audience was reactin as if it were true (“Who shoots dice?”). Leeroy Brown meaner than a junkyard dog. Jimmy and Matt recreate it organically. Love it.

20 – RE: ugly hat lady that Jimmy described as a boy george hat, almost like a cosby kid hat, her name is Jan. Her husband: Sam. Sam and Jan hated Jimmy. on the flight Jimmy’s in a Woolery situation. 2 and 2 seats. small plane and a large man has to sit next to Jimmy. Spiders and snakes 23! Even with Jimmy’s nuerosis he was being nice and offered to switch seats with the guy and regretted it as soon as he sat down. This big guy he sat next too busts out the walls treet journal full spread. so Jimmy is crushed against the exit wall.

25 – Jimmy blames Obama assuming this guy should have been on an earlier flight. “Maintenancinal” Discussing changing the policy for delayed flights by bumping every flight back. Good time up in Sunnyvale. Jimmy saw Scott Simpson up there doing comedy. Funny guy! Jazz bands hate Jimmy for bringing hsi bongo to shows and playing along in the audience. Jimmy did everything he could do to be comfortable on that flight but to no avail. Hour and ten wheels up and wheels down.

30 – The recent Rock Solid episodes have been great! Jimmy enjoyed the Lita Ford and Melissa Etheridge episodes. Rock on with Rock Solid!

Taking a break we’ll be back with your calls!!

We are back! Jimmy Pardo Master Control (bob/tom reference we wish them luck as we do all billionaires). You and your fucking coffee by henry phillips. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4PIbu6Ozro

35 – Jason Nash’s Vine: http://seenive.com/u/915827969740644352

Jimmy enjoyed both of those shows!

10 out of 10 Drumsticks for the VJ book from Pat Francis. 8 out 10 tomatos for the pasta sauce from Eliot.

40 – Pop culture beast chat! Talking Eliot’s reviews. The hills have eyes AND are alive with the sound of music. We got a great write up from AV Club. (http://www.avclub.com/articles/a-trumpless-apprentice-an-oldschool-podcast-some-n,98148/) Thank you Kyle! Pardomizer time for the first calls!

Matt exhausted because Charlie waking up all night from teething. Horrible guess from me on Nightranger.

45 – Jimmy getting to Oliver’s talent show was like a hallmark commercial. He made it there literally just as they announced him. he says it was really touching to be able to see Oliver with his friends and not a play date.

Let it ride suggestion from Eliot gets 3 ragus from Jimmy.

Round 1: eliot goes 11. I go 13. Matt goes (blackjack) 21. Jimmy goes 23. 4! no winner! We’re calling Dan Provenda! No answer. Dan Cordova is 2nd attempt. dan’s do not like phone.

50 – Don Montray. D’s are failing. Jeremy Devault! 4th time the charm? YES IT IS! Jeremy lives about 2 blocks from Jimmy’s old stomping grounds of Hometown. 95th and Polaski. Jimmy calls Jeremy dude.

55 – He works at the railroad retirement board. Government job. Cubs fan in Oaklawn?! Happy bastille day to Jeremy’s wife. Matt Guesses bastille day by Rush correctly! Wins nothing. Jeremy apologize to the man upstairs and to Jimmy for living in sin before marriage. Jeremy steals Jimmy’s chicago voice costantantly. Ketchup on a hotdog means you’re queer in chicago.

60 – Good question: Favorite thing to do on a summer day: Swimming or Golf: eliot and I go swimming. Jeremy goes swimming (backyard pool though). Jimmy goes swimming with the fam. Jimmy took Oliver golfing and he hated, Jimmy’s dad took Oliver golfing and he loved it. Jimmy does not tolerate bogies.

Matt challenges Jimmy to give a definitive answer to Jeremy’s question. Toto in the 2 hole for most boring. Boston most boring concert ever. Good job for Jeremy.

65 – Round 2. Uno! We’re calling Moses Jerome from across the ocean in Hawaii. Moses sounds excited to hear from us! Helo, Hawaii. He’s a city bus driver currently on a break. Married 15 years to Raquel. 2 guest houses on his 5 acres down in hawaii. 3 kids! 20, 13, 2. Moses is 37! Happy birthday Moses! (5/30). 20 minutes every direction to get to the beach. Also snowboarding!

70 – Moses asks favorite 80s movie that breaks your heart that doesnt hold up any longer: Moses says Breakfast Club. No one can think of one. Mahala Moses!

75 – Let it ride again….7! No winner! Calling Joshua Yowl? Josh in Mineral Wells, TX. All Jimmy’s exes live down in Texas. Josh lived in Colorado for a bit. He supports texas seceding. Josh is 28 and is a network adminstrator at a hospital. Married 3 years, no kids, couple dogs. 45 minutes west of Ft. Worth. NNF in Austin this December 8. Josh uses Verizon. Be careful, they’re looking at you!

80 – Josh’s Stupid Question: Do you pass people on the sidewalk on the right or the left and do they go the opposite way in Britain. Everything is to the right.

Re: Britain: In the Middle Ages you kept to the left for the simple reason that you never knew who you’d meet on the road in those days. You wanted to make sure that a stranger passed on the right so you could go for your sword in case he proved unfriendly.

85 – one more caller. Numbers staying – 12! Run off Eliot wins with 9! We’re back!

Buzzfeed article: http://www.buzzfeed.com/deoncole/8-comedians-you-need-to-get-on-board-with-right-now

Jimmy wonders why people make such a big deal about balding. It happens, look around, there are tons of bald/balding people.

“Sampson’s strength was in his hair, that’s biblical! – Matt” 7 caller wins an ast prize pack and a My Pleasure shirt.

90 – Here we go! first call lasted 1 second. 2nd call Dan from Iowa City. John Peterson is 3rd caller (two time winner), See ya later andy the fourth caller, 5th caller is…Andy is back! we have a mix up so jumping to caller 8 with Mike. Cut em loose. Caller 9er is Andy is calling from Chicago. Humbolt Park. Gotta go Andy goodbye! Caller 10 – Mike calling from central Oregon (bend). Caller 11 is…Gabe from Wattsville (?) near Santa Cruz. Daddy’s in town you make the trip to see him!

95 – Jimmy asks if gabe is a computer and cuts him loose. Caller 12 is a NEW Andy. Caller 13 is Mike from Tampa, FL. Horribly humid in tampa. Gotta go! Caller 14 is Patrick Ferzachaerly (?). No time to talk names. Caller 15 is Derek from San fran and he missed Jimmy’s shows. He works at the museum of modern art and does AV Tech Work.

100 – Derek wins an AST Prize Pack and a My Pleasure T-Shirt. No guest, Derek it’s all you baby! Jimmy, “this won’t surprise you but you’re as boring as a museum.” Most recent enjoyed movie: Star Trek for all except Matt with Epic. Great question on a scale of zero to zero. Derek’s girlfriend is named Madeline. He’s been a subscriber since season 2! “Spicy canvas!”

105 – Good call Derek! Former Rainbow Bridge guitarist Paul Boyev is a dr. in tampa. Movie Katz with the kids is very limited, espeically if its the alphabet game and not even movie katz. Almost choked on superhero alphabet! Jimmy out on E. Matt wins Lex Luthor! God I dropped the ball.

110 – One round of movies? I guess not. We’re done. One of Jimmy’s favorites. Struther Martin! Jimmy’s new character with Oliver is a creole sounding bbq guy.

Get your finances in order! New season coming. 3 episodes left! Episodes drop earlier now. Record Monday, drop Wednesday night/Thursday morning. 3 Zoom ins for Eliot this week.

Thanks listeners and callers! Good luck to you Andy!
My Pleasure,
– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast/The Editor-In-Chief