NeverNotNotes

1226 – Scott Aukerman Closes Out Season 12

Scott "The Closer" Aukerman

Scott “The Closer” Aukerman

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1226 – Scott Aukerman

@scottaukerman
Scott’s Tumblr

00 – Welcome to NNF! Eliot is cringing! Final episode of season 12! Dice’s lady makes a brief appearance. Danielle is catching up on NNF, wondering why she wasn’t on. Jimmy publicly states he is not in love with the new episodes of Arrested Development. Some As some Bs some Es and some Fs.

Scott Aukerman is coming in today! Comedy Bang Bang coming back in July.

Packages are up!!

$49 for Gold. Shopping bag (recycled cotton)
$69
$99

Jimmy’s children childrens children are on their own. Oliver wont have kids at 25 because we aren’t billys!

05 – Jimmy not a fan of zombies. He saw World War Zed. Danielle loved it. He didn’t. If it were zombies he’d have loved it. Jimmy got the maxx for the minimum today guys. Matt says, “Obviously.” Jimmy recounts the Ke$ha vine story from last week. Marilyn Macoo is married to Billy Davis Jr. of the Fifth Dimension

10 – New season starts on July 17! Get your finances in order! Our calendar is SO confusing! “Nobody hates par more than tiger!” Jimmy’s therapist is worried he has a Floydian complex.

There is not a bad show in the bunch of NNF shows. Great, Very good, and good. Including the Fitzsimmons disaster. Jimmy listened to Frosty and Frank (or is it heidi and frank??) on accident today. Horrible.

15 – Heidi is a reason people say women aren’t funny. Jimmy’s Dice’s Lady and Jerry Lewis impression are very similar. A guy walked across the grand canyon on a wire successfully. Crazy! Jimmy does his version of the guy praying to jesus the entire walk. Jimmy’s mom made him and Danielle laugh with her text about the walk. Matt thinks Jimmy’s mom should get on twitter. Jimmy spent time at best buy returning his medium Jawbone, the medium too big, the small too small. (matt has a fitbitzip, Pat has a nike fuel)

20 – “Put it down weirdo.” – Jimmy to Matt showing of his bare wrists. More praying from Jimmy. The wirewalker refered to jesus as a sorcerer or something. Jimmy got rid of the jawbreaker and got the fitbit instead. used it yesterday and returned it. he’s gonna get a yawbone from ebay for $50. These things monitor your steps and calories btw.

25 – “I’m fine. I’m money.” – Jimmy. Swingers released in 1996. Jimmy’s wrist thing gives him details on his sleep! (Weird).

We’ll be back!

Get over to GoDaddy.com! NNF295!

We’re back with Scott Aukerman!! Now a standard end of season guest! Happy July everyone! Happy 4th! This is why Jimmy joined the service to keep this country safe! James Gandolfini RIP he was 51 but looked 70. Watch those fingers this July 4!

30 – James Gandolfini was NOT in Argo. He was in Zero Dark Thirty. Running toe grip chat. “God’ll get you for that, walter!” – Maude Jimmy apologizes for a curt email (that i didnt find curt at all!) What if your cock could suck up your sperm?? Like a wet vac! Scott says “I guess your mouth could do it!”

If you like puppets put a muppet on it!

35 – Who empties the trash on this program!? I do. Apparently, Ellis Paul appeared here in town. Jimmy gonna pick a bone about it. Check out our reviews.

40 – Jimmmy will get a Hopper if he can end those commercials. Phil Hendrie taking calls again! Jimmy loves his Phil Hendrie! Scott doesn’t want to have to look at his charicature from pardcast 2012. Jimmy and Matt went to Eliot’s apartment to shoot the season 13 intro. He said he only had “Spirits and tap water.” Jimmy gives it 4 feather dusters.

45 – Get liquids next time, Eliot! Matt tells him to get a brita filter. Jimmy goes culligan. CHANGE THE SITUATION IS WHAT HE IS SAYING! – Scott Jimmy hopes Eliot’s dad does not listen. Pop Culture Beast: Out of date band reviews and pasta sauce!

Oliver quote: Dad, I like KISS again!

50 – Oliver’s favorite KISS song for all of Jimmy’s money…Detroit Rock City #3 Two Sides of the Coin my guess is horrible. Match Game memory of when Jimmy was doing a drum beat and Scott asked if he was doing the drum beat to 100,000 years. Scott follows up with Johnathon Schwartzman flawlessly drumming I Am The Walrus.

55 – Oliver’s favorite Kiss song is Tears Are Falling (from Asylum) because of the lyric “Eat it like a piece of cake.”

Scott could not imagine anyone seeing Kesha and Pitbull. Jimmy confirms 18k people went to the show and 2 white guys. Everyone was there for Pitbull. Zoe’s favorite song right now is the Christina Aguilera and Pitbull song.

Comedy Bang Bang returns on July 12 at 10pm on IFC! Matt and Scott enjoy the hopper commercials. Scott and Jimmy perform some Steely Dan.

60 – the honcho matt belknap. International Film Channel? Jimmy is on episode 209! The friday after labor day. No Matt this time. Comedy Bang Bang will be bookended by Arrested Development for the premiere. Jimmy plays Duke Scorpio (GH reference). He closes the show!

65 – Will Oliver like the song “I woulda been a cowboy?” by Boys Don’t Cry. He likes the song Hey Papito and “the Leftovers are coming to get you”. How about Weird Al?

70 – “You May as well say whatever words you want.” _ jimmy on thrilling adventure hour. jimmy might take Oliver to see Weird Al. 40 bucks in the pot! Someone WILL WIN! 1-40. Here we go!

The Listerner shows up angry we have to describe the betting to scott!

Scott – 2 (Jimmy’s stomach growls) Scott asks if it’s thinking about the shit it’s gonna become later. He follows up with if Jimmy has eaten shit before. memories of when Scott almost made Jimmy puke on season. everyone sings goodnight sweetheart!

75 – Everyone Purels! Eliot goes 11. I go 19. Matt goes 13. Jimmy apoligizes for eliot Dad jokes. Scott goes over the remaining numbers that Jimmy can pick from. Jimmy goes 33!

For 40 bucks! 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wiiinnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

80 – Jimmy breaks pardomizer trying to get to #2! Scott’s game at a casino is Blackjack. Jimmy’s book on tape on Gambling. Done musically. Gotta know when to hold em and when to fold em. Great advise!

85 – Chicken Shops! Jimmy loved Kenny Roger’s Roasters. Scott asks what the best chicken is. Jimmy says Chicken of the Sea, Matt likes Jerk Chicken. Jimmy and Scott sing Suck It Up parody. Penis chat! Does Jimmy’s penis feel as good as a big penis? Does it produce as much sperm as a big balled individual?

90 – Scott asks if you had guy friends that looked over the top of a bathroom stall and make fun of you. Nick Swardsen used to put his dick in a hot dog bun.

Scott was on the show 20 times including 2 pardcastathons! Our listeners love gambling! Scott asks if anyone’s taken a shit in a public restroom, scooped it up and rubbed it all over your face. Jimmy said yes, its his al jolson impression and people said it stunk.

Late Break!

95 – We’re back! Jimmy did not do what Scott asked. “Treat me like shit mommy!” – Scott. Scott mentions that people will go to being mean to get laughs. Also an amatuer improv mistake. Besser’s Backroom on XM. Dice’s lady returns!

Oliver did camp in the Palisades and Jimmy walked some of the trails up there. He felt weird up there in the woods being so remote. He wonders if people are worried that anyone they pass is a murderer.

100 – “Don’t worry I’m not gonna kill you!” Jimmy. best advice? don’t leave the house. Jimmy liked The Purge. Scott thought WWZ was fine, some good some bad. Oh Jimmy liked WWZ but doesn’t like zombies. He doesn’t like anything about the zombie. Jimmy doesn’t like snakes on a plane…just makes for a bad flight.

More Wirewalker prayers.

scott asks Jimmy what will happen after he dies. Jimmy says a party. Matt suggests some kool and the gang, jimmy bans any negro music at his funeral. JImmy would find the time to go to scott’s funeral.

Jimmy’s gonna be buried next to the guitarist from Chicago. Jimmy confirms the band name does not have anything to do with his enjoyment of Chicago. Jimmy is in for scott’s funeral despite the distance. Except Mexico.

105 – Jimmy’s Dad’s coworker lives half time in Mexico and advises no american visit mexico.

Banditos!

Minutes after Jimmy and Matt left Hollywood and Highland, that woman was stabbed. Jimmy says he would have helped. Matt compares it to River Phoenix in Stand By Me. “Aw yeah, wax that ass.” – Matt on people cleaning JLos star on Vine.

110 – Jimmy has tried to intervene in fights before. Jimmy had a cousin get stabbed but has no other details and is not sure if it is public domain. Paul Rust sliced open his hand at Scott’s house. Blood went everwhere! Scott saved the day! He thinks he’d make a good dad. The trades are abuzz.

115 – Who did Jimmy go see INXS with? Scott and Danielle. SEARCH OFF! Scott and Jimmy trying to figure out what show Scott invited Jimmy to that he declined due to seeing another show. It might have been Vampire Weekend! Looks like it was. They also saw Yaz together at the Orpheum.

120 – Get your finances in order!! Season 3 starts on July 17! Thanks to scott! Friday july 12 Comedy Bang Bang starts! FB and Tweet about it! #CBBTV.

Great season guys!! Centerfield rendition! That thirty seconds of centerfield IS Never Not Funny. and now Photograph!! Not as successful!

Thanks for another great season!

good night sweetheart!!

My Pleasure,
– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast