809 – Todd Glass

 

0 – Jimmy flubs up the third word in his opening and does a Regis Philbin tribute impersonation.

The guys talk about Regis retiring.

5 – When he was a teenager, guest Todd Glass opened for Patti LaBelle.

10 – Jimmy and Todd trade stories about accidentally getting overpaid doing comedy gigs.
Todd hogs the mic, gets called on it, and does a spit-take.

15 – Matt tells Jimmy about an iphone app that blows his fucking mind.
Jimmy does a plug for Purity Organic juice.

20 – Jimmy gives Eliot and Dan a belated ramp-up.

25 – The guys think Regis should be replaced with an unknown (like a Todd Glass or a Jimmy Pardo).
Todd has trouble with words.

30 – The guys talk gym pranks.
There’s a lady at the gym with a prison body who freaks Jimmy out. The guys hate on jock straps.

35 – The guys hate on people talking on their phones at the gym.

40 – This bleeds into general bad cell phone etiquette.

45 – Todd talks about a car accident that was his fault because he was texting.
Todd might buy a PA system for his car and yell at drivers to get off their cell phones.

50 – The guys play the car-naming game.

55 – Jimmy once tried to put a PA system on his car to impersonate a cop to scare a girl he had a crush on who was making out with another guy.

1:00 – Todd talks about his ride-along experiences. He got to enjoy a high speed chase one time.

1:05 – Jimmy and Todd could never be cops.

1:10 – Don’t read the hate mail.

1:15 – Todd discovers a noise he can make.

1:20 – Jimmy and Pat lied their way into a hotel when they were young.

1:25 – The guys talk tipping etiquette.

AK-47 gone, not forgotten