1619 – Pulling Your Card with Anthony Jeselnik

In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik


00 – Hello! Indeed welcome! Jimmy guesses the episode with no help! 1619!

Kevin Harlan – 

Announcer chat!!

Matt finally heard the real Mad Dog Russo. Tells Jimmy his impression is terrible. To be fair, he saw him in a documentary. 

05 – Welcome in!

Couple things to talk about. Lotta stuff in the news.

Jurassic World talk.


Celebrity Sighting! Jimmy and his mother went to see JW in Culver City. Saturday Culver City Arclight. Seat 1A should not be for sale! There is a wall that blocks the screen.

JW did indeed make over $5 million.

10 – Apparently there was a ticket problem with both of them getting the same seats. This guy was the celebrity! Jimmy continues with the story before we can guess.

The Arclight guy just switched seats around so that Jimmy’s mom was sitting right in the middle of this guy’s family. The arclight guy tried to move Jimmy and his mom to the front row. The celeb was not having that. He ended up having his son sit in his lap the entire movie.

Time to play who was this terrific, friendly, wonderful, accommodating celebrity?

15 – Handsome, TV STAR, We all know him. On TV the last 10 years, different shows.

3 kids total maybe, and a beautiful wife. Both drama and comedy on network.

Our guest is here! The handsome Anthony Jeselnik!

Anthony guesses Scott Aukerman.

It’s Oliver Hudson!! Matt guesses it. What a nice guy!

20 – Jimmy gives us more details about the conversation. He’s gonna be on Scream Queens. Jimmy told him that they went to see the Nashville concert.

A gentleman! Oliver Hudson! He’s Hollywood Royalty! Kate Hudson – Sister, Goldie Hawn – Mother. Ernie Hudson – “Brother”

Our guest is offensive!

Jimmy tells a quick Anthony Jeselnik story about him coming to see the amoeba auction. Anthony confirms Jimmy was funny.

Anthony Jeselnik is here! He’s got an NBC project coming up! He is the new host of Last Comic Standing! He already knows who the winner is. America doesn’t vote, now it’s basically three comedy legends narrowing it down to one winner. No America voting. They’ve gotten it wrong pretty much every time.

25 – Voting chat. Jimmy thinks America got it right with Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Not Ruben, not Fantasia.

Last season of LCS is canon. The rest is being wiped away.

Last Comic Standing

We’re taking a break! Anthony wonders if Jimmy just came from a crossfit.


30 – Welcome back!

Stockyard Channing is great in grease.

Jimmy has an eyelid flutter.

Jimmy’s on edge today! He didn’t ask Oliver to come on the show. He thought it would be “cheesebally.” Couple of peers, tv personalities, a huge star, and Oliver Hudson.

Avalon was okay.

Eliot almost got yelled at but turns out he’s right.


35 – Anthony suggests Comedian!

The guys talk about the doc.

Jimmy used to see Orny at the gym working out a set on the treadmill.

Anthony talks about the end of Orny’s special – 

“It’s your day. Take it all in” – fuck off.

40 – Bullet was removed – 

The guys talk about Jerry Seinfeld’s comments about colleges.

45 – Open letter to Jerry –

Guys talk college shows. There were 8 year old kids at Anthony’s first college show.

50 – Talking college’s and Carlin’s.

Eliot’s hear! And he’s tired.

Jimmy says a spat, “is what the negroes put on their shoes to dance.”

Eliot says he has enrolled in college.

Jimmy drops a joke from 89.

Same 2 openings at the Familliare. Jimmy comments on Eliot’s posting about cards.

Jimmy says he calls his dick cards and he plays 52 pick-up. I say he shuffles a lot. It’s a nice piece of business according to Jimmy.

Matt’s here! Good weekend.

Jimmy introduces our guest!

55 – Talks about losing his entire check gambling and talks about getting kicked out of a casino with Doug Benson and not knowing why. To this day they have no idea why.

Anthony suggests Doug went into the bathroom and smoked a joint and that got them thrown out. Jimmy doesn’t think they’d throw him out also over that.

Anthony doesn’t gamble much because he doesn’t know the rules.

He works out. Does yoga/pilaties also do to a bad back. He yoyos between healthy and not eating healthy. Jimmy loves Arby’s.

Anthony has a celebrity card at Chipotle. He can go in and get a free item a day.

He and Elizabeth Berkley go in every day apparently.

60 – Jimmy had a bad chipotle experience so he doesn’t go in. It was an overly greasy steak.

Carnitas. Anthony prefers Safritas. He has been clear on that.

Danielle enjoys the Safritas also.

Chop House also a bad experience with Jimmy.

Chipotle’s good and they recognize talent.

Anthony talks abut how he got the card a bit.

Jimmy talks about feeling like an asshole reaping the benefits of a free movie as a comic at the funnybone.

65 – David Padro!! Jimmy talks about a guy recognizing him and having his name wrong. David Pardo!

Anthony talks about his old show and who worked on it. He says he is recognized for more than a podcast and Jimmy wonders what he is recognized from.

70 – Jimmy thinks Anthony has a Sinatra vibe. Anthony likes to think of himself as more of a Dean guy.

Last Comic Standing returns in July! 

July 22, 2-hour premiere at 9pm!

Jimmy wants to know if Anthony is happy with who won. Anthony talks about his feelings on the show and how is kind of tuned out by the end.

He talks about how a confetti cannon went off right by his head and it felt like a punch in the face. He was FURIOUS but the guys at the show said it was hilarious to see him mad while everyone was celebrating the winner.


Welcome back!

Jimmy just did a huge trade in the NNF Fantasy Baseball League. He gives us the details.

Jimmy talks about Anthony doing a Conan event and being a guest.

Anthony is unsure if he’ll do any late night shows anymore.

75 – Anthony refuses to do James Cordon’s show since he doesn’t like doing the late night shows. Why do it? Who watches?

Talking Tom Hanks’ son, Chett Hayes.

Guys talk having twitter as teenagers.

Shark talk!! Jaws talk!!


Anthony is seeing Jaws outside while sitting in an innertube on a lake.

80 – Anthony’s therapist watched United 93 on a plane. He calls Zoolander the ultimate 9/11 movie.

Talking reactions to 9/11.

Jimmy says the only Ben Stiller movie he didn’t like was Zoolander.

85 – Guys talk learning comedy and comedy classes and open mics.

Open Mics by yourself is extremely lonely.

90 – Anthony likes games!!

He has no lady friend! Get out and swing it around. He’s 36.

7in77 in 7 time! Matt gives the brief rules.

Jimmy gives to Anthony: 20 (Celeb) Adjusted to 19.

Anthony gives to Jimmy: (TV Shows) interrupted by the phone.

Matt gives to Anthony: 20 (Movies)

No conversation yet on Jimmy’s trade.

Fun! Long overdo! That’s on us. This is the first podcast Anthony’s done in 2 years.

100 – The guys talk about comedy central pilot battle royale. Anthony had two seasons.

Jimmy is weirdly positioned and sounds better than ever!

See you next time!!!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth