NeverNotNotes

16R – Housewarming with J. Keith van Straaten

J. Keith Van Straaten

J. Keith Van Straaten

In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

@j_keith
Website

00 – The door is open!

We have a special guest today.

Jimmy spit everywhere. Suspect stroke.

Jimmy could not be more excited about Ken.

Jimmy could not be more excited about Ken.

Ken Roberts is here!

Traded lunch for a sit in.

Ah, there we go! Good-natured frivolity ensues.

Ah, there we go! Good-natured frivolity ensues.

Jimmy gives Eliot and Matt the business.

Eliot driving around in his Bono glasses like an asshole.

Jimmy wants to know if a meeting took place to upgrade Eliot to third banana.

I was not privy to that meeting. I thought I was third banana. Matt suspects that Batman set went to my head.

Eliot’s out of Eddie Izzard and Magic the Gathering.

05 – Jimmy demonstrates how not to speak when your mic is on. Tighten those jaws.

He is going to murder one day.

Pepsi_Diet_24Matt suggests we all go in on wiring Eliot’s jaw shut.

Ken Roberts again is here! He enjoys Diet pepsi. Prefers Diet Coke over Diet Pepsi though. His Diet Pepsi was on sale at Vons.

Jimmy enjoys a Diet Pepsi at the DFW airport.

Jimmy wants to curb the usage of fuck on the show.

10 – Apparently Jimmy replaced chewing straws with sucking wad. Takes less that 2 minutes to drop a “fuck.”

Ken Roberts is here. Spent a lot of fucking money to be here.

He’s from Houston. They’re dealing with some water.

Houston Astros:
W        L        PCT     GB                HOME        AWAY          L10        STRK
34      27      .557        –                 19-13          15-14            3-7        L7

They’re on a losing streak.

Jimmy tells Ken to go play games with Eliot at one of his game sessions.

We need refresher courses on what a joke is and who the fuck…the heck…is in charge.

15 – Time for NNF Fantasy League Standings!

Mad Dog Jimmy is here!!
1) Remember That Smell
2) Spineless Windbags
3) ??
4) Mushmouth Shy Guys
5) HE TALKS TO FAST!! Haha

That’s baseball!

Jimmy’s team is held together with medical tape. He has no idea where he will end up at the end of the season.

Jimmy’s doing well in all four of his leagues. If jimmy wins all four he’ll rub his cock on his mic.

Jimmy also hurt his neck and isn’t sure how.

Jimmy used to jerk his neck with his hands to crack it. Someone told him he was doing it too much and he hasn’t done it since.

Matt does some impressions that are all the same.

20 – Our guest is here!

Jimmy makes a Horton and the Heat mention.

Jimmy talks about his Brooks and Dunn reference at his live shows.

Ebbs and Flows!

Ken is here! He meets J. Keith!

J. Keith van Straaten is here!

Ken does the Donahue.

Patrick Roddy is the best!

25 – We talk about the history of me!

We talk J. Keith’s cats.

David Foster’s daughter’s reality show is a zero.

DocTalk

Chicago doc talk!

Jimmy comes off great in that documentary.

Matt and Jimmy talk whether David Foster comes off like an asshole.

Ken Roberts brought a gift. He handed it to Matt. It’s clear it’s for Matt!

30 – Matt does an NNF puppet show.

The Eliot puppet is HUGE.

legendMatt guesses it’s a 180G Beastie Boys LP.

It’s not!

It’s the MC Lyte Legend LP! Jimmy unhappy. Apparently he purchased it for Matt’s bday.

Lyte’s part of the puppet show!

Jimmy wants Matt to go get it autographed.

Ken Roberts has ruined Jimmy’s birthday gift!

Jimmy recounts bidding on the jersey his friends were buying him for his birthday.

Thanks for the gift Ken!

35 – Break! J. Keith is here! He’s been to Jimmy’s house.

No one goes to Jimmy’s house. (apparently all of us have at some point).

No one goes to Jimmy’s so J. Keith never comes over.

Break!

We’re back to Eliot serenading us with some Streisand as we come back.

Headphone talk.

J. Keith demonstrates some improv.

16 Ruby!

SarumanChristopher Lee chat. Apparently Dave Holmes sent a video out that he was part of. Can the NNF curse be blamed?

We also lost Ruby Dee.

40 – Don’t bring up Beat the Geeks!

Jimmy talks about the 16 year old kid TJ who came up to him and asked him about Funny Money. “You did an adequate job hosting a subpar show.” – TJ

Jimmy talks about Gameshow Congress and TJ.

J. Keith was there doing his show What’s My Line. Apparently, Betsy Palmer was there. RIP. Also Frank Nicatero too.

45 – Matt flawlessly performs Jurassic park music.

J. Keith talks visits to Jimmy’s.

First the housewarming then the chills set in.

50 – Jimmy positive J. Keith has been to the Rimpau house.

Osbornes chat!

avalon-1990-dvdJ. Keith recommends his favorite movie of all time but we have to guess it.

Avalon! And The Natural.

55 – Ken’s halfway through his 2nd Diet Pepsi.

His word is rapscallion so he doesn’t want money.

He’s been to 2 pardcastathons.

He met them at max fun con.

Eliot’s word was Ravioli.

60 – Any openings at the Familiare?

Eliot tells us a story about the workers running a cable across the entire complex.

So do they have any openings?

Jimmy describes Eliot as bugs bunny going around three times.

Asking For a Friend is a little over used.

Matt’s R word was Recorder. He cannot do Titanic.

Jimmy and J. Keith not in the right place in 1997 when they saw Titanic.

Don’t see Forest Gump, Matt.

65 – Jimmy introduces J. Keith with false facts.

Angels chat. Classic California Angels players. Jimmy tries to guess.

Greg Pryor, former white sox player, yelled at Jimmy and his step-brother for making fun of Andy The Clown. He told them to stop being assholes.

70 – J. Keith introduced Jimmy and Danielle to Vance Gilbert who then led Jimmy to Ellis Paul which led Ellis to being a friend of the show!

Susan Werner

Jimmy and J. Keith talk about Ross Bomgartner. That cannot be spelled right. Jimmy and his stepbro called and talked to Ross’s mom.

75 – J. Keith tells his Ross story. It involves a girl that liked him as a kid getting him a signed Ross baseball card. Even though he terrorized her.

He actually tracked down the guy to confirm the story was true!

Robin Ventura is a great player per Jimmy.

80 – Billy Buckner chat.

J. Keith is a fan of the musical! Cats is one his least favorites, also Phantom.

Matt almost spits his water after J. Keith tells him good pull.

Break!

Jimmy had to urinot.

We’re back!

Apparently the new version of Phantom is tighter.

J. Keith might be the new PCB Red Carpet correspondent!

85 – Kate Hudson/Almost Famous chat.

Jimmy asks the GP of the Angeles. Gary Peddes. Also could have mention Freddie Lynn. 

5258630464_3b5cd40375J. Keith is heading straight to therapy after this.

We call this Laugh Therapy! – Matt

We’re back to J. Keith’s least favorite musicals. Titanic The Musical is one. The other is based on a documentary and it’s a musical…

90 – Back to Nashville!

Is this the Bombshell musical

Turns out that musical is Hands on the Hardbody.

95 – J. Keith’s favorite musical of all time is Next To Normal. No one’s heard of it.

“Who the fuck you think you’re talking to, Pal?” is the actual quote.

10 grand to Jimmy to have lunch with him at his house.

Korean BBQ talk? Apparently he talked to his therapist about it so he could take Oliver to Benihana.

ShabuShabu?

Apparently, a mammal is an animal that gives milk. J. Keith just learned this. So you can get orca milk.

J. Keith’s possible 2nd favorite is The Bridges of Madison County (at least the music is great).

He is seeing Spring Awakenings this week. Jimmy wants his opinion.

Company, Evita, and Jesus Christ Superstar are Jimmy’s favorites. His favorite recent musical? Once!

100 – Both J. Keith and Jimmy cried watching Once. Jimmy asks, “know what that means?” Matt: Pussies.

How many Tylenol can you take? Ken Roberts has a lot of Tylenol information.

Ken is officially our new medical consultant.

Jimmy takes some Advil.

7in7Time for 7s!

Way to go Travis Blaine!

Jimmy gives to J. Keith/Matt: 16(celebrity)
Sports fails.

“Knock those pins!”

Tim Howard

J. Keith gives to Jimmy/Matt: 30!!! (TV Shows) New high score!!!!

We try to guess the last player to wear 42. It’s not Mickey Rantle or Mike Riazza.

Mariana Rivera.

Eliot gives to Garon/Ken: 11 (movies)

Eliot won Ben Steins Money. J. Keith was on Celebrity Name Game. No one noticed that he is actually a celebrity (in some circles)

He didn’t do well.

We had the best and the worst clue giver.

120 – J. Keith gives to Jimmy/Matt: 28 (General Knowledge)

Jimmy commanding officer in Korea was General Knowledge.

Matt gives to Jimmy/J.Keith: 17 (music)

Matt gives to J. Keith: 18 (movies)

Ken is going to Max Fun Con! Guests are a surprise apparently.

Ken tore his meniscus last year at the convention.

Have a good time Ken!

Great Job J. Keith!!

The Donator Ken Roberts!

See ya next time!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth