NeverNotNotes

522 – The Hard Sell with Danielle Koenig

Click here to buy this episode 

Danielle Koenig: First Lady of Never Not Funny

Danielle Koenig: First Lady of Never Not Funny

Episode 522 with Danielle Koenig
Released September 9, 2009

Show notes by Darryl Asher

0

There’s a fire on the mountain, run, boy, run!

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Danielle works on The Dish

Jimmy the Joke Doctor

Danielle’s annoying laugh

voice

10

The death of Ted Kennedy and his large head

15

Ted Kennedy on Broadway

Hey Mom… we got any Social D?

Kyle Gass and his Guitarings

Matt’s deoderant is now for women

20

Hacksaw Hamilton’s sweep of the out-of-town scoreboards

Andrew is Jimmy’s whipping boy

Matt and Danielle have a nice duet

25

Gloria Estefan’s accidents

Tom Jones at the Greek

Oliver’s hairbrush routine: sniff… zombie… fall!

30

Jimmy and Danielle sign up for the Vacation Club presentation: just a little of their time (and soul) for a free resort weekend, movie tickets, 40 Disney dollars, and a free lunch!

Jimmy: “There’s no ‘lose’ here!” Plus it will take NO MORE than 90 minutes

Jimmy and Danielle’s personal, private, face-to-face, one-on-one salesman was Jamaican Raymond

35

Free lunch: Quizno’s, brought in fresh DAILY!

Raymond eats Doritos from a paper plate, and his mouth sounds prove he enjoys every bite

40

The presentation was for the Shell Vacation Club – NO RELATION TO SHELL OIL

45

Quiznos - Brought in fresh daily

Quiznos – Brought in fresh daily

Puerto Rico: our 51st state

Talkin’ Texas

Mike + The Mechanics’ “The Living Years” is NOT one of those “Yes I know” Obvious Trivia things!

50

For these vacations, you are using POINTS not MONEY!

All this can be yours for the low, low price of $28,000 with only $1900 down!

Vacation Club presentation elapsed time: 2 hours

55

Corporate guy takes over the presentation

Raymond suggests going to another room

Doritos - Eat the the classy way: from a paper plate with lots of mouth noise

Doritos – Eat the the classy way: from a paper plate with lots of mouth noise

Jimmy doesn’t want to disappoint Raymond the Jamaican Chip-Eater

Jimmy and Danielle get 100 Disney dollars instead of 40, and spend 60 immediately

Spoiler: online reviews for Shell Vacation Club are HORRIBLE

BREAK

Danielle’s reaction to Hacksaw Hamilton: “Awwww, honey, no one finds it as fun as you do.”

65

Danielle was Anna Wintour on The Dish via massive costuming

Matt: “You remember Massive Costuming.”

Whatever happened to the Head-On ads?

headon

Pod-buster!

70

Jimmy hates the Olive Garden laughing eaters ads

The Great Gatsby is the ultimate metaphor book

75

Monkeys Jumping on the Bed makes Matt and Jimmy angry

Oliver’s bedtime ritual

Oliver says “Oh shit” and Jimmy encourages it

80

Prince’s I Would Die 4 U is not actual sign language

More Than Words is a harmony song, proven by the lack of harmony

Lindsey Buckingham: greatest live guitarist ever; worst between-song talker

85

Kid’s baseball album, worst kid’s album ever, featuring songs CLUB SODA! and STAND-UP DOUBLE!

A new Whitney Houston album is coming out

Stupid Question of the Week

Paul Carol: Dessert on demand? Or good seats at any show?

90

Adam Bogarth: Shower in the morning or at night?

New season soon, get your finances in order!

Matt, The Entrapenuer

Onnnn the podcast!

Matt: Happy birthday, James Alvarez!