522 – The Hard Sell with Danielle Koenig
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Danielle Koenig: First Lady of Never Not Funny
Episode 522 with Danielle Koenig
Released September 9, 2009
Show notes by Darryl Asher
0
There’s a fire on the mountain, run, boy, run!
Danielle works on The Dish
Jimmy the Joke Doctor
Danielle’s annoying laugh
10
The death of Ted Kennedy and his large head
15
Ted Kennedy on Broadway
Hey Mom… we got any Social D?
Kyle Gass and his Guitarings
Matt’s deoderant is now for women
20
Hacksaw Hamilton’s sweep of the out-of-town scoreboards
Andrew is Jimmy’s whipping boy
Matt and Danielle have a nice duet
25
Gloria Estefan’s accidents
Tom Jones at the Greek
Oliver’s hairbrush routine: sniff… zombie… fall!
30
Jimmy and Danielle sign up for the Vacation Club presentation: just a little of their time (and soul) for a free resort weekend, movie tickets, 40 Disney dollars, and a free lunch!
Jimmy: “There’s no ‘lose’ here!” Plus it will take NO MORE than 90 minutes
Jimmy and Danielle’s personal, private, face-to-face, one-on-one salesman was Jamaican Raymond
35
Free lunch: Quizno’s, brought in fresh DAILY!
Raymond eats Doritos from a paper plate, and his mouth sounds prove he enjoys every bite
40
The presentation was for the Shell Vacation Club – NO RELATION TO SHELL OIL
45
Quiznos – Brought in fresh daily
Puerto Rico: our 51st state
Talkin’ Texas
Mike + The Mechanics’ “The Living Years” is NOT one of those “Yes I know” Obvious Trivia things!
50
For these vacations, you are using POINTS not MONEY!
All this can be yours for the low, low price of $28,000 with only $1900 down!
Vacation Club presentation elapsed time: 2 hours
55
Corporate guy takes over the presentation
Raymond suggests going to another room
Doritos – Eat the the classy way: from a paper plate with lots of mouth noise
Jimmy doesn’t want to disappoint Raymond the Jamaican Chip-Eater
Jimmy and Danielle get 100 Disney dollars instead of 40, and spend 60 immediately
Spoiler: online reviews for Shell Vacation Club are HORRIBLE
BREAK
Danielle’s reaction to Hacksaw Hamilton: “Awwww, honey, no one finds it as fun as you do.”
65
Danielle was Anna Wintour on The Dish via massive costuming
Matt: “You remember Massive Costuming.”
Whatever happened to the Head-On ads?
Pod-buster!
70
Jimmy hates the Olive Garden laughing eaters ads
The Great Gatsby is the ultimate metaphor book
75
Monkeys Jumping on the Bed makes Matt and Jimmy angry
Oliver’s bedtime ritual
Oliver says “Oh shit” and Jimmy encourages it
80
Prince’s I Would Die 4 U is not actual sign language
More Than Words is a harmony song, proven by the lack of harmony
Lindsey Buckingham: greatest live guitarist ever; worst between-song talker
85
Kid’s baseball album, worst kid’s album ever, featuring songs CLUB SODA! and STAND-UP DOUBLE!
A new Whitney Houston album is coming out
Stupid Question of the Week
Paul Carol: Dessert on demand? Or good seats at any show?
90
Adam Bogarth: Shower in the morning or at night?
New season soon, get your finances in order!
Matt, The Entrapenuer
Onnnn the podcast!
Matt: Happy birthday, James Alvarez!