514 – Pat Francis


Note: This is Part 2 of what I call The Fighty Trilogy. The other episodes are 408 and 523.



Corner of something and something

A weirdo from out of town visited the studio

Going around the room

Pat is wearing Greg Fitzsimmons-inspired sunglasses

The Jimmy Pardo Made Me a Gentleman Facebook page

Jimmy reminds us: this is his show!


Is Cedric the Entertainer a gentleman?

The official Facebook and Twitter pages are up

Pat says he needs a website: is consistentjackass.com taken?

Jimmy reviewed the video of his red-light running ticket and guess what? GUILTY! ($485!!!!!!)

Pat says the ticket for parking on a sidewalk is cheaper than parking in a red zone


Maybe the red-light video should be edited for YouTube

More suggestions for Pat’s domain name

Jimmy still has his wedding-present vaccuum

Jimmy has moved into his new house

Close encounter with plumber’s crack

Vincent D’Onofrio’s roles (Thor-Adventures in Babysitting, Full Metal Jacket)


Matt was annoying and/or funny at Pat’s BBQ by calling cheeseburgers “cheesers”

Jimmy and Oliver swimming at the hotel pool

“How YOU doin’ little man?”

Pat’s thoughts about The Byron Allen Show and his Olsen twins joke

Jimmy steals Andrew’s Sarah Palin reference right in front of his face


Matt has a suggestion for the new series Last Comic Standing

Jimmy can not confirm or deny being contacted by the Last Comic Standing producers

Byron Allen’s appeal

Franklin Ajaye’s olympics joke

How Pat squeezed his Christmas jokes into his act year round

Matt’s Halloween costume idea: Andre Agassi


Pat brings up “that bullshit Michael Jackson” memorial at the Staples Center

Jimmy wants to not discuss it, because it will already be a week old when the episode drops, and there is no funny to be found

Jimmy repeats: there is no funny to be found

Pat misunderstands “villify”

Jimmy’s brush with Norm Crosby

Jimmy says again: let’s not discuss Michael Jackson. No funny to be found!

Pat insists on asking everyone what they think of Michael Jackson

The Elephant Man’s bones

Andrew doesn’t watch TV, even though Jimmy gave him one

Pat brings up Michael Jasckson again, and Jimmy threatens his balls


Jimmy: “I don’t want to talk about this!” but he gives an opinion

Andrew calls out Pat for derailing the show

Pat doesn’t want us to pretend that Michael Jackson’s “controversy” does not exist, and does not want his picture on a stamp

Who was / was not at the memorial service

Jimmy: “We talked about this last week, let’s move on!”


Back to Matt’s Andre Agassi costume

Matt’s going for a niche costume

Pat’s daughter’s superhero day at school

Pat brings it back to whether Michael Jackson should be on a stamp

Jimmy’s Bob Hope stamps are too big, a point which he brings up in order to move the conversation away from Michael Jackson

The guys talk about which celebrities or shows have been on stamps

Jimmy’s looks good in his red-light-running picture

Pat admits that some of Michael Jackson’s songs are catchy


Phil Spector vs. Michael Jackson: you can’t pay off a dead person

Jimmy could be a secret serial killer

Discussing Dexter

Matt accuses Pat of not listening to anyone else about Michael Jackson

Matt is now sucked into giving his opinion about Michael Jackson

Jimmy is frustrated but wants to remember the good and move on

Pat continues his anti-Jackson railing


Jimmy: “Let’s stop talking about it!”

Andrew looked up the info on a suspected pedophile, as discussed on an earlier show, and found out that he is convicted

Jimmy: “Well this is a fun fuckin’ show.”

Matt wants to know if Pat has ever made a mistake, Jimmy continues to insist they NOT talk about it

Jimmy: “There was no funny in bringing this up!”

Pat is angry at Matt’s response to his answer about mistakes

Jimmy: “As I said… there was no funny to be found.”

Pat: “I’m mad now! I’m fucking mad!”

Pat doesn’t like the way Matt came at the subject

Matt says we don’t know for sure what happened in Michael Jackson’s private life

Andrew: “I’m officially bored with this conversation.”

Jimmy: “I’ve said from the get-go there’s no funny to be found here!”

Jimmy: “This has been uncomfortable, awkward, and many will say the best episode ever”

Pat’s new name for the show: Never Not Tense

The guys laugh about their arguing


Pat brings up a different, less tense, aspect of Michael Jackson: how he dressed

Andrew wants to know if comics cultivate a “look”

Discussing how different comics dress

How Jimmy rotates his suits for the Conan show


Jimmy tells why he always has his setlist in his pocket on stage, even though he doesn’t look at it

Jimmy is more than happy to talk about behind the scenes stuff

Pat wants to know how many women Andrew, Jimmy, and Matt have been with

Record Store vs. Road Comic



Stone cold silence in the awkward break

Meet You Greet You in the Ladies’ Room as sung by Grover

Andrew wants to know how Jimmy can love shit music

Jimmy doesn’t know what a crunk Cup is

Jimmy can’t find the garage keys to his old house, so he bought bolt cutters


There may be a logistical reason Andrew can’t borrow the bolt cutters (hint: Jimmy wants his $15 back)

They guys think of different ways to get hurt with tools

Andrew has a question about KISS mythology

Gene Simmons’ “spike” shoe


Oliver is Batman

Scooby-Doo Meets Batman and Robin

Jimmy’s CD Uno may or may not be available for sale

Cutting edge observational humor about Scooby-Doo


The list of guest stars in the Scooby-Doo movies

Pat’s George Burns impression at Lake Arrowhead

Trvia: Chicago turned down the Sgt. Pepper movie


Pink Steel, the gay metal band, is not mad at Pat for mocking them at Max Fun Con

Jimmy does Carol Channing doing George Burns

Leon Redbone sings AC/DC

Fred Goldman sings

“Wheels” Belknap is back!

Stupid Question of the week from Gary Lucy: When miming speaking on the phone, extend thumb and pinky or not?

Jimmy is angrier about the improper way to mime a telephone than Pat was about Michael Jackson


Stage-mime-phone should be different than across-the-parking-lot-mime-phone

Jimmy bets $1000 that Gary Lucy is on his side (without thumb and pinky extended); unclear whether anyone took the bet

The specials of Eddie Murphy

Jimmy clarifies that he was not REALLY yelling at Matt about the phone-miming

Stupid Question from Lifedough: Home row or hunt and peck?


Pat wants to know if Jimmy has had STDs

Magic Johnson and AIDS

Will Kevin Meaney be on the podcast?

Jimmy is stressed out about his new house expenses

The fans should help Jimmy move

A fan showed up at Jimmy’s garage sale

Does Jimmy have a large gay following?

Carol Channing closes the show