Episode 523 – Pat Francis


Note: This is Part 3 of what I call The Fighty Trilogy. The other episodes are 514 and 408.

Released September 16, 2009

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Radio DJ Jimmy takes you around the table

AK-47 is here

Jimmy says Pat is Matt’s booking, and thinks that maybe Pat is here too often

Good music up in Canada while Jimmy was there in the 70s

Alanis Morisette could be Jimmy’s love child

DJ Hero video game is coming!


Rap won’t be around for long

Pat plugs Alan Houser for designing his website

Pat is Facebooking and Twittering

Jimmy uses Legos to teach Oliver about 9/11

Cat Stevens, terrorist

War of the Worlds remake

Jimmy misunderstood the Tim Robbins scene


Jimmy name-drops Andy Richter and working on The Tonight Show

Jimmy complains that Matt and Pat interrupted his Andy Richter “queering off” story

Matt’s shirt: Eric B. for President, with a picture of Eric Bana

Eric B. and Rakim

Will Smith, still a relevant singer?

Top black actors

“Put that on, Darryl”

Did you know Morgan Freeman was on Electric Co.? (LINK TO ORIGINAL ENTRY ON OBVIOUSTRIVIA.COM)

Pat’s Clueless Obvious Trivia Part 1: Did you know that Denzel Washington was on St. Elsewhere?

Pat’s Clueless Obvious Trivia Part 2: Did you know Will Smith was on The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire? 

Oscar nominated Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls

And Norbit


Terrence Howard – TeeHeech

Morgan Freeman – MoFro

Top 5 black actresses

Jennifer Hudson, great in Dreamgirls

Oliver loves musicals

Olivers favorite songs (Crazy by Gnarls Barkley)

Jimmy wants Pat to not suck the fun out of the conversation

ASCAP / Asscat and Ellen Degeneres

Vance Degeneres may listen to NNF


Why add Ellen to American Idol?

Ellen vs. Rosie

(In retrospect, there’s lots of crosstalk going on!)

Ellen got the job over Pat by being more manly

Pat tries out his Yes And technique

Prop comic Pat forgot something for today’s show

Vancouver comedy fest coming up

Pat interrupts the Vancouver plug, which makes Jimmy testy; “God dammit, shut up”

Matt gets the Vancouver plug in, and dares Pat to dress as Starchild for the flight

Pat’s cock humor

Andrew does a legit spit-take


Matt wants to make sure he gets credit for the spit-take

Jimmy: “You insecure, arrogant asshole! Both!”

Special deals for the Jimmy Pardo package in Vancouver

Explaining You Fascinate Me

Sesame Street does Rent

Elmo Goes to Grouchland: good movie, despite Vanessa Williams’s sexiness

Mandy Patinkin’s song in Grouchland

Coffee in a Cardboard Cup

Ghosto, the 5th Marx Brother

Pat: “The last three minutes of this podcast have stunk!”


Back to Grouchland

Jimmy: “Let’s talk about what happened on television last night”

The Video Music Awards

Pat feigns anger at the mention of Michael Jackson (due to his heated discussion about MJ on a previous appearance)

Matt recaps Madonna’s opening to the show

Pat asks questions about Madonna’s appearance

Defining sinewy, as in “Madonna’s sinewy arms.”

Sinews not Soyuz

Pat is asking a lot of questions, and Jimmy gives him a stare-down

Matt: “Uh oh, stare-down time!”

Jimmy tries to tell about “what happened” on the VMAs


Jimmy: “Let me finish my fucking sentence, you two idiots!”

Russell Brand’s horrible hosting

Overreacting audience at the VMAs

Jimmy’s opinion: The VMAs: an overproduced mess!

Lady Gaga wears props from Saw

Last night was the first time Matt has seen Lady Gaga

Spinning Pink: lip-synching?

Pat acknowledges that Jimmy is still trying to get to talking about The Incident, yet continues to talk

Jimmy is getting exasperated: “Both of you guys know it’s not a contest to get in as many words as you can on this show, right?”

Pat: “Wait till you see us on The Amazing Race, talking up a shit-storm!”

Matt: “By the way, our application is in, guys!”

Matt and Pat talk about making their audition tape and photo

Pat looked like a stud in the photo, according to Pilar


Jimmy remains uncharcteristically quiet while Pat and Matt continue talking about The Amazing Race photo

Jimmy: “I literally want to see how long you can go before the star of the show gets a word in.”

Matt says he is continuing to talk because Pat doesn’t shut up

Pat thinks he better shut up because he knows what happened to the last guy who talked too much

Jimmy thinks a review of Schmidt’s podcast on BLEEEEEEP.com is unfair

Pat and Matt continue to crosstalk over Jimmy

Pat recommends that people give the reviewers a bad review

Jimmy tries to tell what is fascinating to him about the review from the podcast that reviews other podcasts

Pat unnecessarily clarifies through crosstalk that this is a podcast that reviews others podcasts

(Clunking sounds)

Matt: “Oh my God!!!”

Pat (laughing): “He threw his microphone!!!! He threw his microphone!!!”

Jimmy: (in the distance) “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


Matt: “Wow. That’s on you, man!”

Pat questions whether Jimmy was seriously angry

Matt: “You don’t think that was serious?”

Pat: “Well, let’s end it then. That’s it.”

Matt: “Yeah.”

(Clunking microphone sounds)

———Happy interstitial music———-


Jimmy: “Hey everybody, welcome back to Never Not Funny episode 523, we had a little break that was not announced…”

Jimmy, Matt, and Pat all laugh as Jimmy tries to explain what just happened

Jimmy came to the show “in a mood” and lost his temper

Jimmy describes the aftermath of the mic throwing, including his apologies

Jimmy: “Matt wasted no time throwing Pat under the bus.”


Matt: “It did bring up an interesting point, which is that maybe we should shut up.”

Trying to get back into the Schmidt review podcast, but they decide they have to revisit what led up to the mic throwing

Assigning blame, in percentages

Thank God Pat is not such a jackass in real life

Jimmy wants to know where the mic ended up

Matt slams the show back into the podcasting review podcast


Jimmy and Matt agree to bleep out the podcast review name

Jimmy takes the floor to finish explaining his initial pre-mic-throwing point

Mike Schmidt and Scott Aukerman both got bad reviews on the podcast-reviewing podcast

Matt gets back to the VMA Incident first mentioned almost 20 minutes ago
Pat bought the Taylor Swift CD for his daughter

Pat defends Taylor Swift as being a cut above regular teeny music


Matt and Jimmy recap the Kanye/Swift VMA incident

Single Ladies


The VMAs are fake anyway

Pat mistakes Kanye West for Chris Brown

Kanye may be a jerk, but he’s always right!

The dirtiness or cleanliness of Taylor Swift

There’s no other word for boombox aside from ghetto blaster

Deaths in the rap world, and Dick Cheney

Publicity billboard on Highland and Sunset (map)

Psychic vs. prostitute


Re-imagining Greg Behrendt’s book

Pat requests a That’s On You Man tee shirt

Kanye does not like to see injustice on a fake award show!

Matt had a good Twitter joke about the Kanye incident, but won’t tell it

Pat thinks this might hurt Kanye’s career

Jesse Thorn’s opinion on Kanye’s work ethic

How Russell Brand responded as VMA host


Jimmy is not one of Ricky Gervais’s gays

Kathy Griffin’s face work

Jimmy wants to know where the mic-throwing break will happen in this episode

Jimmy wants to make sure that people know there was about 10 minutes between the mic-throwing and resuming recording

Pat wants to tell a toilet-related story


Pat’s French in-laws

Vincent Van Gogh listens in mono

The Beatles in mono

Dramarama’s one great song

Chris Carter and the other Carters


Clarence Clemmons is a human Iron Maiden Eddie

You’re a Friend of Mine

Jimmy’s outburst and walkaround has thrown his time-keeping abilities off

Back to Pat’s gross story

“There’s no stairs in flying!”

Tom Hanks in The Terminal


Jimmy gets shocked by licking his microphone

Pat’s story has been interrupted more than Jimmy

“Who cuts a banana with a spoon?!”

Pat’s opinion about some people (which I will not make available in the notes)


Pat finishes the gross story

Cleaning up after children vs. cleaning up after adults. Nuff said

Matt: “Grandma Bea for President”

More about family matters


Matt is going to lose it someday

Jimmy: “C’mon, let’s hang up!”

Matt lost his temper on the show during the terse e-mail discussion

Jimmy updates on his fantasy baseball team The Terse E-mailers

Jimmy discusses the times that Matt lost his temper at him

AK-47, suspiciously quiet during this episode; doesn’t want to feel the wrath of a microphone


“Bag o’ corn friend” should be the way NNF fans greet each other, and how he closes the show

Jimmy Pardo or Jimmy Carter

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!”