NeverNotNotes

1109, 1110, 1111 – Keith & The Girl, Mike Sweeny, Dave Anthony

A 3-in-1 post to cover the last notes of our beloved Dan Katz. Congratulations to Dan on his new job, and moving on to bigger and better things.


1109 – Keith & The Girl

0 – Jimmy is done with the numbering system. Jimmy talks about Rick Dees. Jimmy’s testicle cyst is back. Jimmy went to the doctor and the doctor turned out to be a beautiful Asian woman.

5 – Dan’s leaving. Get your applications in.

10 – Eliot owes Jimmy money. Jimmy says there is a supposed animosity between him and our guests: Keith and The Girl.

15 – Keith and The Girl used to date, then did a podcast together, then they broke up, but kept doing the podcast together.

20 – The group talks about their early days of podcasting.

25 – The guys talk about going to reunions.

30 – Jimmy saw Liza Minelli over the weekend and wasn’t that into her performance.

35 – Chemda (“The Girl”) is a singer-song writer.

40 – The guys listen to Chemda’s music.

45 – The guys talk about feeling inadequate as musicians.

50 – The guys talk podcasting.

55 – The guys talk about Jimmy’s high school band.

BREAK

0 – Matt had to wake up at 4:45 this morning. Matt thinks that Chemda’s brother might be having an affair with her girlfriend.

5 – The guys talk about the Keith and The Girl spin-offs.

10 – 111 people have gotten Keith and The Girl tattoo. Keith is a big Poison fan.

15 – The guys talk about musicals.

20 – The guys talk about terrible talk shows.

25 – Keith goes to the bathroom. The guys talk about the difficulties of doing a podcast marathon.

30 – Jimmy found a new knife and he likes it.

35 – The guys talk about The Olympics.

40 – The guys talk about George Michael.

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1110 – Mike Sweeney

0 – Jimmy is really angry at Dan for not leaving yet. Jimmy feels like he has egg on his face.

5 – Dan has a business proposition for Never Not Funny. It’s really hot in The Valley today. Jimmy took a pill for his testicle problem and had severe side effects.

10 – Guest Mike Sweeney thinks it’s unfair for Jimmy to not allow him to speak at the beginning of the show, yet discuss testicles.

15 – Mike’s been working for Conan since 1995.

20 – Dan brought a “revolutionary” wallet to try to get the guys to get behind.

25 – Mike wants to have children go door-to-door selling subscriptions to NNF. Jimmy loves Eliot’s shoes and socks.

30 – Jimmy just got a Roomba.

35 – Mike is afraid to get naked in a hotel. Mike and Eliot have some of Dan’s seaweed. Everyone tries on Dan’s fake glasses.

40 – Jimmy and Mike talk about the old days of stand-up.

45 – Jimmy and Mike talk about wrestling their sons.

50 – Mike just went to Catalina with his wife for birthday. There are buffalo on Catalina. Mike talks about doing a military base show.

55 – Jimmy got chased to his car after doing a military show. Mike talks about doing a bad comedy gig on a boat.

60 – Mike talks about his friend Billy doing comedy between a boxing match.

BREAK

0 – The guys talk about how weird it is that the NNF men’s room is on the roof. Even though Jimmy’s pilot never got picked up, everyone who worked on the show (other than Jimmy) got work out of it.

5 – Jimmy will be hosting a roast for his father-in-law, Walter Koenig.

10 – The guys talk about the Comedy Central Roasts, Gilbert Godfried, & Seinfeld.

15 – Jimmy reads off the lyrics of “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald.”

20 – Mike is said to get frazzled before every taping of Conan.

25 – The guys talk about the helicopter crash from Twilight Zone: The Movie and bad Spielberg movies.

30 – Jimmy and Mike talk about taping Conan.

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1111 – Dave Anthony

0 – Jimmy is stuffed up. We are two away from “Never Forget.” I go downstairs to buy Jimmy tissues and benadryl. Jimmy counts his money incorrectly.

5 – Jimmy is angry at facebook idiots. Dan screwed up the tissues.

10 – Jimmy is on a new antibiotic for his testicles.

15 – The guys ponder whether or not it’s worth getting a prosthetic testicle.

20 – The guys talk about golf and steroids.

25 – The guys do some plugs for upcoming local podcasting events.

30 – Matt gave himself a haircut. Jimmy overheard a paradoxical conversation in Peoria, IL.

35 – Jimmy talks about horrible compliments.

40 – The guys talk about Gerry Grossman. A lot of atheists have gotten too evangelical.  

45 – The guys talk about the Tony Robbins hot coal scandal. The guys talk about old people holding up escalators.

50 – Guest Dave Anthony wants Jimmy to get a tan. Jimmy burned his feet on the sand at the beach

55 – The guys talk about 7/11 food. Slim jims are awful.

60 – Dave talks about how the Gillette Mach 3 is the best razor, but the Gillette Fusion is a piece of shit.

BREAK

0 – Jimmy cuts off Eliot. Some of Eliot’s cameras are missing. The guys kept talking about shaving during the break. The guys talk about celebrity couples.

5 – The guys talk about ninja turtles and curious george.

10 – 15: The guys keep complaining about shitty kids’ programing.

20 – The guys talk about walking out of movies.

25 – This current episode is a win. The guys talk about good episodes as opposed to bad episodes of NNF. The guys talk about the game SongPop.

30 – the guys play SongPop. Jimmy’s house is infested with bees. Dave horrifies everyone by talking about the show “Infested.”

35 – The guys talk about bands that they like and no one else likes.

40 – Dave talks about being in a Samsung commercial. The guys talk about shitty commercials.