1015 – Matt Walsh

PARDCAST.COM MESSAGE BOARD FOR THIS EPISODE

Matt Walsh will be referred to as “Walsh”; not to sound all bro-like, but to avoid confusion with Matt Belknap

Intro

CLOCK-RELATED ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Today’s call-in premise: rhyming words

Jiggles and Jam on morning radio

Yes, Jimmy said Jiggles and Jam were both women (“I bet it’s a woman team, and the newswoman pops in…”)

“There’s no way I said that! That would never come out of my mouth.”

Jimmy demands apologies

Jimmy is tired from a Criminal Minds marathon and from not being able to sleep

Criminal Minds is brutal, but toned down from reality

5:00

Jimmy does his poor Rush Limbaugh impression

Eliot’s horrible Facebook Rush Limbaugh impression

Hot today, chili tomorrow! (Do I need an icon for this? I hope not.)

Words with Friends strategy – Hint: use the multiplier tiles for more points

Disco Pants for Dan Update: 3669 Facebook fans, Jimmy calls it DONE!

Disco pants are happening; Dan might be dancing in them

Jimmy is writing the Dan’s Disco Pants script

10:00

Don’t be fooled by Eliot’s equipment

Walsh used to live in Boystown

Walsh’s sketch group beginnings with Department of Works

Andy Dick memories

Plugging Matt on Netflix (and DVD and iTunes): High Road

The guys haven’t heard anything about Amy Poehler lately

Jimmy’s top three comedy TV shows

15:00

Has 30 Rock gone downhill?

Walsh’s Netflix viewing habits

Battle of the local sketch groups

Walsh’s resume includes Outsourced ::crickets::

Walsh only watches things he was in

The Toyota commercial that is beyond Jimmy’s abilities

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

20:00

Saturday Night Live is OK, overall

Walsh and Jimmy like Seth Meyers

Lindsay Lohan on SNL

Did Walsh ever audition for SNL?

Walsh is the only New York actor not on Law and Order

What TV shows would Jimmy want to be on?

Jimmy should have been the Mad Men Xerox guy

Jon Hamm should always be looking in a mirror

25:00

Celebrity sex tapes

Go-Gos sex tape is news to Jimmy and Matt

On certain subjects, Dan is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The return of Mad Men

Telex vs. fax machine

Matt may be confusing Picasso with Jon Lovitz

For some reason, Walsh had a portrait made of Hal Holbrook

Matt Groening’s Simpsonized portraits

30:00

Jimmy likes Family Guy

Jimmy’s horrible Bill Paxton and Billy Zane

Old-school Dice on XM Radio

Remembering when Dice was new

Jimmy and Walsh: real friends!

35:00

Walsh in the audience for Conan

Jimmy needs to take fire seriously

If you need to know what to do during a fire, Jimmy is NOT your guy

Walsh says what doesn’t even need to be said: in an emergency, celebrities get out first

40:00

How to (try to) get Paul Newman for your movie

Weinstein dresses down Nathan Lane

Walsh met Clinton while he was active. As President.

The White House secret service: no sense of humor

45:00

Exporting Raymond

Real names of celebrities (Gaga is not her real name?)

Chicago beef and other foods

50:00

The Gathering of the Chicagoans

Sammmm Levine, self-honorary Chicagoan

Walsh and Jimmy are on a secret jury with podcasters

Tom Dreesen at Pardcastathon: beautifully draped!

Jimmy is unneccessarily fake-made at Samm Levine and his extra M

55:00

Jimmy wants to be a last-minute, small audience, addition to the Asssscat improv team

Ignore Jimmy’s extensive improv training and experience at your own peril!

Surprisingly, improv training credits are transferrable!

Drinking and driving: funny! (But don’t do it.)

1:00:00

You are welcome to refer to The Deja Vu as “The Vu”

Walsh bought his drunken burritos near a poop field

Walsh gives his family cameos in his movies, Copolla-style

Jimmy was on the Bear Down podcast

Oliver has harsh opinions about comedy

1:05:00

Matt’s mockery of Jimmy’s “standard spelling” joke is met with stony cold silence

Jimmy demands more “I’m Dumb” apology emails

One last shit-on-Dan moment before the break

BREAK

Dan’s breakup update: still a breakup

Walsh taks about his kids, who will remain unnamed

Matt wants a golf-cleat massage

1:10:00

Jimmy got a TOTALLY LEGITIMATE MASSAGE FROM A LADY the other day

The Dice’s Lady Massage Skit

Stupid Question of the Matt: If you could have a massage from any sitcom character…

The inner working of the Hargitay family

1:15:00

Jimmy does Jerry Lewis talking about Lucille Ball

Sid Caesar’s old-school opinions

Jimmy has strict gentlemanly rules for his racist jokes

Have you guys heard about his new fad, the low-carb diet?

A racist admists that Sammy Davis, Jr. is a likable black guy

Walsh’s Dog Bites Man is out on DVD

1:20:00

The short term joys of picking on regular people for comedy

Matt Besser’s Crossballs fake debate show 

The power of expensive video equipment to fool people

Ali G. and C. Everett Koop

1:25:00

The career of C. Everett Koop

Jimmy does a great Rhoda joke

Cathy Rigby is still Peter-Panning it up

1:30:00

Revisiting Oliver’s Bodie Miller obsession

Jimmy’s Sarah Palin obsession

Jimmy thinks Palin could still be the nominee

Game Change, the book and movie

Palin’s disasterous Media interviews

Jimmy finally reveals what his Palin obsession is all about

1:35:00

Jimmy talks about getting his photo taken with Palin

Palin’s charisma

Laminated nudie photos

1:40:00

Much like his ealier “how close do you have to be” Matt wonders about MWR (Minimal Wanking Resolution)

Jimmy’s Sally Jesse Raphael glasses / mullet / weird-cross-legged / SNL t-shirt headshot was a HUGE MISTAKE

Bear Down is done from the NNF Studios, yet is not a NNF Production

1:45:00

“Was Jordan key in that win?”

Harlem Globetrotters

Walsh works with the Globetrotters on improv skills

Jimmy and Oliver enjoyed The Globetrotters

Walsh’s inside Globetrotters scoop: the extra work the referees have to do

1:50:00

Jimmy gives this a thumbs-up, a plus, and puts it in the win column with a gold star

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

In-studio notes by Dan Katz