1024 – Rachel Quaintance
Intro
Jimmy shows off his mouth for the video fans
Eliot Greensox
Trying to predict what Rachel might dig
Digging Your Scene by The Blow Monkeys
Danny’s sideburns: dangerous
Jimmy’s new tee shirt: Fitz and the Tantrums
5:00
Jimmy’s Ben Harper take-down
Topanga talk
Math and Basketball
Magic Johnson’s health and movie theater
Weight loss via AIDS vs. Ayds
10:00
Jimmy’s Metabolife habit
The funniest thing Matt ever said
Dan’s (Nixon / retirement / dead dad) watch
Matt’s high tech solution to an in-studio rattle
Season 11 logo contest reminder
15:00
The finale of House
Lion King did not make Jimmy cry
Rachel has been waiting 18 minutes, and she lets us know about it
Rachel’s benefit for dancing classrooms
The what-documentaries-has-Jimmy-seen quiz
Hot Coffee documentary
20:00
No buildup to Rachel’s intro
Revisiting Rachel’s visit to Pardcastathon
Rachel responds to things in the first 18 minutes
Selling a car seat
Sam Harris at Rachel’s benefit
Jimmy loves Sam Harris
25:00
Jimmy sends hits to Rachel’s YouTube videos
Rachel on Big Time Rush
Rachel’s upcoming 40th birthday party
The resume of Sam Harris
Rachel got her teeth lengthened, because life is short. And her teeth.
30:00
Detailed tooth-talk
Solar eclipse and blindness
Rachel vs. Aubrey O’Day
Hang on everyone. Jimmy is texting.
Rachel’s prom attendance
35:00
Fargo’s Grand March and wedding dollar dance
Rachel, Elise and Matt all went to Emerson; but was it ever talked about
Jimmy’s Carol Channing
Jimmy will answer any question for the next 12 seconds
Jimmy has to send another text
NNF Death Curse takes credit for Robin Gibb, and maybe Whitney Houston
40:00
Jimmy’s fantasy baseball hobby and horrible teams
Jimmy attends a Rennaissance Faire
45:00
Matt and Elise enccounter raw meat on a leash at the Ren Faire
Rachel tries to convince Jimmy she did stand-up
Eliot’s punny greeting of Rachel
50:00
Back to Ren Fair talk
Bubbles from The Wire was at Ren Faire
Rachel’s waitessing days and Magic Johnson
55:00
Rachel’s story is sweet, regardless of Jimmy’s boredom-anger
Where were you when Magic Johnson announced he had AIDS?
Matt recalls school at Concorde Academy
1:00:00
Living with divorced parents – the premise for light-hearted conversation
Matt and Rachel’s dad
Rachel’s dad’s carwash
Jimmy’s stand-up is master class
1:05:00
Matt’s imaginary Thriggins monster terrifies his little girl
Rachel’s childhood public pants-peeing
BREAK
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Jimmy goes back to texting
Jimmy like The Three Stooges, but it’s a bad movie
1:10:00
Rachel found her old comedy notebooks: “Jukeboxes: something?”
Mango? Oh, that sounds fun!
Rachel’s funny Red Lobster magic bit
Explaining Dancing Classrooms
Fifth graders dancing the tango
1:15:00
LA County Fair / Dodgers game / Ren Fair
Rachel is moisturizing more
Rachel is a giver, so he can’t talk much about her giving
Jimmy and Danielle take Oliver to the Angles / White Sox game
1:20:00
Fighting over a foul ball
Jimmy was in danger of having a baseball enema
Backpedalling on sarcasm
Rachel Quaintance: regular person
1:25:00
Jimmy’s Ren Faire rudeness
Rachel is pretty great
Matt asks: “How much congratulations does Rachel need?” (There ya go Rachel)
Matt gives Rachel points for knowing Darryl
Of course Rachel knows Darryl
Mentioning Darryl is all part of Rachel’s Master Plan
Attending Roger Waters’ The Wall
Jimmy’s fake Jamba Juice outrage may not have gone over too well
1:30:00
Some people won’t let you join in the fun
Jimmy has residual childhood anger
Star Wars and Rachel’s Mark Hammill crush
Jimmy’s insistence on fingering is disgusting
1:35:00
Matt and Jimmy question Rachel’s schedule and commitments
Maybe Jimmy is wrong about Ben Harper
Bachmann Turner Roverdrive, the all-dog band
AK-47 gone, not forgotten