1024 – Rachel Quaintance



Jimmy shows off his mouth for the video fans

Eliot Greensox

Trying to predict what Rachel might dig

Digging Your Scene by The Blow Monkeys

Danny’s sideburns: dangerous

Jimmy’s new tee shirt: Fitz and the Tantrums


Jimmy’s Ben Harper take-down

Topanga talk

Math and Basketball

AYDS really works!

Magic Johnson’s health and movie theater

Weight loss via AIDS vs. Ayds


Jimmy’s Metabolife habit

The funniest thing Matt ever said

Dan’s (Nixon / retirement / dead dad) watch

Matt’s high tech solution to an in-studio rattle

Season 11 logo contest reminder


The finale of House

Lion King did not make Jimmy cry

Rachel Quaintance

Rachel has been waiting 18 minutes, and she lets us know about it

Rachel’s benefit for dancing classrooms

The what-documentaries-has-Jimmy-seen quiz

Hot Coffee documentary


No buildup to Rachel’s intro

Revisiting Rachel’s visit to Pardcastathon

Rachel responds to things in the first 18 minutes

Selling a car seat

Sam Harris, back in his Star Search days

Sam Harris at Rachel’s benefit

Jimmy loves Sam Harris


Jimmy sends hits to Rachel’s YouTube videos

Rachel on Big Time Rush

Rachel’s upcoming 40th birthday party

The resume of Sam Harris

Rachel got her teeth lengthened, because life is short. And her teeth.


Detailed tooth-talk

Solar eclipse and blindness

Rachel vs. Aubrey O’Day

Hang on everyone. Jimmy is texting.

Rachel’s prom attendance


Fargo’s Grand March and wedding dollar dance

Rachel, Elise and Matt all went to Emerson; but was it ever talked about

Jimmy’s Carol Channing

Jimmy will answer any question for the next 12 seconds

Jimmy has to send another text

Jimmy at the Ren Faire

NNF Death Curse takes credit for Robin Gibb, and maybe Whitney Houston


Jimmy’s fantasy baseball hobby and horrible teams

Jimmy attends a Rennaissance Faire


Matt and Elise enccounter raw meat on a leash at the Ren Faire

Rachel tries to convince Jimmy she did stand-up

Eliot’s punny greeting of Rachel


Back to Ren Fair talk

Bubbles from The Wire was at Ren Faire

Rachel’s waitessing days and Magic Johnson


Rachel’s story is sweet, regardless of Jimmy’s boredom-anger

Sadly, he was not telling us he was in posession of appetite-suppressant candy

Where were you when Magic Johnson announced he had AIDS?

Matt recalls school at Concorde Academy


Living with divorced parents – the premise for light-hearted conversation

Matt and Rachel’s dad

Rachel’s dad’s carwash

Jimmy’s stand-up is master class


Matt’s imaginary Thriggins monster terrifies his little girl

Rachel’s childhood public pants-peeing


Total Eclipse of the Heart

Jimmy goes back to texting

Jimmy like The Three Stooges, but it’s a bad movie


In all fairness… it DOES sound fun!

Rachel found her old comedy notebooks: “Jukeboxes: something?”

Mango? Oh, that sounds fun!

Rachel’s funny Red Lobster magic bit

Explaining Dancing Classrooms

Fifth graders dancing the tango


LA County Fair / Dodgers game / Ren Fair

Rachel is moisturizing more

Rachel is a giver, so he can’t talk much about her giving

Jimmy and Danielle take Oliver to the Angles / White Sox game


Fighting over a foul ball

Jimmy was in danger of having a baseball enema

Backpedalling on sarcasm

Rachel Quaintance: regular person


Jimmy’s Ren Faire rudeness

Rachel is pretty great

Matt asks: “How much congratulations does Rachel need?” (There ya go Rachel)

Matt gives Rachel points for knowing Darryl

Of course Rachel knows Darryl

Mentioning Darryl is all part of Rachel’s Master Plan

Attending Roger Waters’ The Wall

Jimmy’s fake Jamba Juice outrage may not have gone over too well


Some people won’t let you join in the fun

Jimmy has residual childhood anger

Star Wars and Rachel’s Mark Hammill crush

Jimmy’s insistence on fingering is disgusting


Matt and Jimmy question Rachel’s schedule and commitments

Maybe Jimmy is wrong about Ben Harper

Bachmann Turner Roverdrive, the all-dog band

AK-47 gone, not forgotten