1007 – Chris Fairbanks
Jimmy is comin’ right atcha with a toothful of PowerBar
Zeros aughts and ohs
Tweekedaudio.com finally gets another shoutout
More dog poop talk than in the entire previous history of Never Not Funny
Jimmy’s disturbing definition of what it is to “Moe out”
Zoe Belknap: a force to be reckoned with!
Jimmy’s great fantasy baseball name: The Paternal Blowhards
Baldwin Hills Jimmy does not mean any of his racial epithets
Jimmy thought the Three Stooges trailer was funny ::silence::
Jimmy wears Russell Brand tee shirts to support Russ Brand
Monster energy causes misspeaking about the weather
Never Not Funny studios is now all theirs
Should Dan do a wall-sized mural for the studio?
Dan’s parents may have regrets
ELIOT’S thumb is not just up… it’s WAY up
The Administrator Matt Belknap
Dan’s dog Marvin died
Eliot is wearing horrible hipster Cousin Eddie cockroach killer shoes
Jimmy is pro-Mexican, as shown by his lust for (non-Mexican) Jennifer Lopez
Chris had his larynx crushed in a shaving cream wrestling incident
The Daily Habit on Fuel TV is now cancelled
Jimmy was on the show with Chris when he got injured
There’s a spider on that wall! There’s a spider on that wall! There’s a spider on that wall!
Details of the larynx-crushing wrestling match
Jimmy’s fake-anger might be confusing to new acquaintences
“J”s stands for “jokes.” Honest.
Hurt feelings is way worse than crushed larynx
Wrestling is taking over Fuel TV
A dollar bill sweater may not be a bad idea, or may be horrible
Jimmy is totally a yes-and guy
SAT and ACT tests
Jimmy has finally bought his first Sonicare toothbrush, and he loves it
Chris’s childhood friend designed the new Sonicare head
Electric toothbrush pissing contest
Another winning contest idea from Eliot: disco pants
Matt wants Dan to be a robot-dancing street performer
Jimmy got accosted by a religious nut because he was smiling
Jimmy at the Pearly Gates
Chris was at the studio early, which resulted in him pushing a Jeep out of traffic for the ungrateful, asshole, non-door-holding owner
Plotting revenge on the Jeep owner
Don’t miss Chris’s “old man’s scrotum” sound effect
There is a limit to door-holding politeness
This is room full of non-confrontational men
Don’t get inside Jimmy’s bubble
Jimmy is not comfortable telling what his new car is (but he said on an ealier show he wanted the new Hyundai)
Jimmy has photographic evidence that people even invade his car’s bubble
The Bad Callback song
The Tone Loc around-the-neck turntable
Wild Thing, Tone Loc
Chris reads too much into Wild Thing
Rubber Band Man, The Spinners
Matt has serious issues with The Rubber Band Man, and thinks it should be a documentary instead of a song
The heartwarming backstory about how The Rubber Band Man got written
Chris wants a DJ at his funeral
Matt gets fired from his DJ gig
Some AST members have taken up the slack and overwrite about comedy
Jimmy may have underpaid the Leroy Ball and the Doogot Band from his wedding
Jimmy has rage at Dan and Eliot, but Chris wants to be kept out of it
Did Eliot answer for Dan
Darryl’s doing a great job at Never Not Notes
Eliot tried to give me credit for helping with the video intro, but gets overridden by the guys trying to figure out what city I live in (Billings, but Chris always thinks it’s Missoula because my daughter lives there.) THANKS ELIOT!!!!
Matt has visited Seeley Lake, Montana
Kokomo, The Beach Boys
Matt does not like the taste of the wooden popsickle stick
Forked penises exist, according to Matt
Chris: “My urethera’s like a showerhead!”
Chris was not happy working at The Daily Habit
Matt does not want behind the curtain of The Daily Habit
The split-down-the-middle snowboard that turns into cross-country skis
Confusing slang usage of “skins”
Words that Jimmy finds offensive
Cutting edge music talk about John Phillip Souza
Hollywood Bowl animal attacks! (or not)
A standing ovation for curious poses
Sneaking onto the stage while The Scorpions play
Don’t ignore Chris’s wonderful saying: “Feed me the boots”
Desperate attempts to relive the “feed me the boots” magic for the season 11 opening
Jimmy takes over Dan’s job of working the Google
The Jimmy and Chris mouth-trumpet duet: Chuck Mangione’s Feels So Good (not a one word title)
Like Jackson Browne, Dan is running on empty
Instrumentals on the pop charts
Jimmy: “You know I’m a child of MTV!”
Running on Empty vs. Sneakers vs. Redford vs. Phoenix vs. Hirsch
Matt Belknap: Rural American Breakdancer
New Edition: shrill high pitched unpolished children’s voices
Jimmy’s microphone is covered with horse juice
Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
You’re fuckin’ mud!
Fairbanks is holding back some zingers until the end
Have You Seen the Mud Mud Man
O.J. Simpson Investigator and Major Prosecution Witness Dies
(Thanks to ASTer Kentock for the link)
Is someone killing off the O.J. Simpson defense team?
Lenos Dancing Itos
Jimmy continues to insist that Barry Scheck’s name has a “T” at the end, like “across’t”
Fred Goldman vs. Rollie Fingers
Jimmy’s gotta go, no time to talk about Chris’s ideas for a mural
All of Chris’s art is based on bad ideas
AK-47 gone, not forgotten
25 – Chris Fairbanks’s show got cancelled. Jimmy is in love with the sonic electric toothbrush.
30 – Chris Fairbanks’s buddy designed the new sonic, so he got a free one. Disco pants contest announcement.
35 – Fairbanks tells a horrific story where he helped a guy park and the guy was a dick.
40 – Jimmy tells a story where he got trapped holding a door open for at least 90 seconds. Jimmy got a new car and parked far away from everyone else at the gym and then a guy parked right next to him.
45 – Sing-A-Long time
50 – Deep deep analysis of lyrics from The Rubberband Man.
55 – Do you go DJ or band at your wedding?
0 – Chris talks about being frustrated with his show that just got cancelled. Chris talks about a new snowboard that just got invented.
5 – The guys compare John Philip Sousa songs. Matt Belknap says the funniest thing ever. Fairbanks talks about sneaking
10 – ****Gimme The Boot***** Everyone does fake horn sounds.
15 – Chuck Mangione sing a long. Who goes better with River Phoenix: Judd Hirsch or Robert Redford?
20 – What is the man version of madame?
25 – The OJ defense dream team is slowly being killed off.