NeverNotNotes

1723 – Putting for Dough with Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman

In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

@jenkirkman
@iseemfunpodcast
00 – Welcome in! 1723! Fun day today. Jimmy explains that we are a small business and the businesses that we aren’t.

Mathnasium

Jimmy suspects we are bigger than one franchise of Mathnasium.

The Profit

Marcus Lemonis.

The-Profit-Marcus-LemonisJimmy has seen Eliot in Camenot already so Eliot can stop emailing him about it.

05 – You don’t need the details listeners! Jimmy explains in as little detail as possible. Eliot took minor umbrage.

No one remembers why Eliot was turtling last week.

No weirdness from last week. That’s what you do in a green room!

Jimmy got feedback that the mexico recap episode was one of the best podcast episodes he’s ever heard.

Jimmy opens some mail!

Double-ended food poisoning!

Double-ended disaster food poisoning!

Jimmy’s drinking on some Powerade Zero. Jimmy had food poisoning and was in bed for 3 days! It was the worst he’s ever had. Disasters on both ends.

Chipotle –

Jimmy not saying where he went on the air.

It was a horrible three days and he’s still not over it.

10 – Jimmy couldn’t make his marathon so he lost the entry fee and his hotel cost.

Fuck Rick DeMint and his fastness!

Our guest is here!

fruitcakeLooks like home made fruitcake.

15 – The guys eat some.

I had some.

California Raisins talk.

Martin Luther King Jr Day!

Jen Kirkman is here!

Jimmy explains what happened to Jen.

20 – Early break today!

Thanks for the cake Brian Weskall (Spelling?!)

Happy MLK day. Well wishes to Brian and everyone.

Racist talk!

Matt has a lot of white guilt apparently. Jimmy says to shake that guilt! Shake it like a polaroid picture.

22 anniversary of Northridge quake

25 – Cher sends bottled water – 

Cher and David Bowie –

Jimmy talks about reading Tom Jones’ autobiography. He talks about Tom’s tuxedos and the variety show.

We’ll be right back!!

Flint / Grand Blanc talk!

Jen Kirkman is here!!

We’ll be back!

We’re back!

Jen steals Jimmy’s welcome back thunder.

Jimmy scolds her immediately. Is this the best day for that kind of humor?!

She apologizes.

Football talk.

30 – Eliot can wire a mic cable.

Jen’s bit is over.

Matt talks about a vine someone made of him that made him laugh.

Sometimes you gotta mute your friends because they’re posting too much.

Hillbilly social media analyst! Jimmy’s new character!!

Matt tries to name this new character. He loves a super PAC.

Matt gets some advice on getting more followers.

Jimmy Pardo doesn’t ask for a RT. He stays on the ladder!

He’s now a blind billy!

Long Beach Comic Expo! 2/20 – 2/21

Scream for me long beach!!

40 – Hockey all-star game controversy – 

45 – The Ottoman! We’ve talked to him enough.

Eliot is extra tense today for some reason. He tells us about why. He got up early to deal with an elevator and a broken garage door.

familiare

We’re concerned about the Familiare!

The Honcho!

Jen Kirkman! Host of the I Seem Fun podcast.

She’s very excited to be here! She’s in a great mood.

Jen had a private meeting with Cher!

‘Matt talks about not needing water.

Jimmy has to remind everyone how he gets away with stuff. “We don’t call daddy names.” – Jimmy

50 – Jen tells a story about her friend Ron Zimmerman dating Cher and getting Jen a meeting with her.

Jen helped hook up Cher and Chelsea Handler (she put their assistants together). Ron: “Cher will find you.” Jen went for a glass of wine and Cher showed up and immediately asked where Jen was.

She came back and Chelsea gave her a phone number to call the assistant. Jen ended up waiting alone in Cher’s dressing room. Cher showed up half show ready and half in jeans and Birkenstocks.

Cher gave a speech to Jen about preferring a different mother. Cher told her to call her mom after their meeting.

55 – That is a great story about Cher. We all loved it.

She told that Cher story at a gay themed show and when she mentioned Cher not having a pedicure they were not amused.

60 – Jen wants to go golfing with Jimmy. She’s pretty good but no one wants to golf with her.

Jen gives her stats. She usually comes 1 or 2 over par on holes.

Jimmy doesn’t want to insult Jen and her apparent lack of golf knowledge.

Jimmy calls Matt the Belgian Waffle of Golf. Matt just wants to play golf!

65 – Jimmy talks about Pitch and Putt.

The luggage rack is the great equalizer since everyone has to wait for their luggage.

Jen tells her Conan story. She was on a flight that Conan and fam was on. She saw him giving money to all of the employees who were working. She didn’t talk to him though since she didn’t want to alert everyone to his presence.

Kids in first class is not necessary. Put them in coach, “let them learn fear and independence” – Jen.

70 – Private jet talk.

An example of private jet costs – 

AST Payment talk!

Jen talks about seeing a mountain man type of person in her check in line. He smelled and was kind of gross. Jen said in a tv movie that guy would be santa claus.

75 – Jimmy doesn’t want the smelly guy net to him whether he is ugly or not.

Jon Hamm smells of handsome.

Jen talks about Raisins and Alcohol advice from Joan Rivers. Soak 3 raisins in rum and have them every day.

gambling

80 –
12k – Jimmy
30 – Jen
10k – Matt

no winner!

85 – uber chopper to Coachella last year – 

uber cost:

Jen – 5000
Jimmy – 3300
Matt – 8500
Eliot – 1200

Jimmy tells Jen about his food poisoning. Jen asks if he got the rash around the eyes.

Break!

We’ll be back!

90 – Welcome back!

We’re having fun!

Jen cares about issues not if people think she is funny or not.

Jen talks about her republican involved 9/11 tweet getting flack.

We all love Jon Cryer.

Jen says his book is wonderful. It’s called So That Happened. 

Jimmy wants to know if Jon got along with Andrew McCarthy. Jen doesn’t remember.

Darren and Danny are getting out of here.

95 – Jen’s brain is short circuiting. She is certain that she will have brain problems later in life.

We all struggled with Sasson versus Sassoon.

Paul Frederick – 

Age of Aquarius! Jimmy turns it into a medley. Jen wonders if there is actually a comedian who does this on the road.

100 – Paul Boyev, former guitarist of Rainbow Bridge, is in a Ska band in Florida.

Music talk.

Jen is not a fan of The Black Keys. She describes them as Hair Beard Flannel.

105 – Matt asks for Jimmy’s opinion on Billy Idol’s latest album: Phe-nomenal.

When Jen saw him, Billy Idol closed with Mony Mony and threw around some frisbies with bank logos on them.

monyMony Mony is from the Mutual of NY building – 

Jen has trump supporters in her family.

110 – Jen says raising a kid in fear and with a gun is child abuse.

This is not the worst by a long shot!

Tom Jones autobiography – 

Doc Talk – Barry Crimmins doc Call Me Lucky.

Jen talks about how Boston folk always talk about movies are filming there but she heard nothing when spotlight was filming.

Matt and Jen never crossed paths at school.

Blown Away – 

[pardostory] “Time to weep, time to sweep Cochise.” Jimmy tells the story about that quote coming from an opener at a show back in the day. This guy killed every show.
(This is Jimmy’s favorite joke. Or at least one of them. – Darryl)

120 – Jimmy tells a story about Paul Gilmartin at the wounded warriors golf event.

Jimmy talks about the “hatchet job” article about AST. Jimmy rants about it. An Oral Histroy of AST.

Oral History of AST

Rick is a very good friend of Jimmy’s that he has known for years. Still a hatchet job!

Jen suggests bringing AST back.

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth