1001 – Harland Williams
PARDCAST.COM MESSAGE BOARD FOR THIS EPISODE
Intro
Starting season 10 with a clunker, despite Jimmy’s brand-spankin’-new gold microphone
Chilly last night. Hot tamale?
Matt is totally on board with the Santa/Christmas situation
Kids are having Christmas ruined because they find out on the internet that S**** C**** is not r***
When is Eliot going to drop INDHD.com?
5:00
Everyone but Jimmy is wearing Dan Katz creations
Tony Soprano impression
Showing off NNF swag
What’s up with FedEx/Kinkos?
Paul Harvey apparently shows up with news about the post office
What is egg nog?
10:00
How and when Jimmy and Harland met
Harland is a professional for sitting patiently, keeping his nog opinions to himself until introduced
Harland seems to have a naugahyde agenda
15:00
How Harland ruined Jimmy’s Halloween
Oliver loves the “Buddies” movies
Harland Williams: prolific children’s book author
Harland’s virginity loss vs. Jimmy’s “girl voice”
20:00
Jimmy as “Margaret”
Persnickety, the British candy bar
Could Jesus walk on bottled water
Harland may have skipped a couple Bible classes
Fast food persnicketiness
Gnarled-up gumbo lip
25:00
Fruit in the Christmas stocking
Ripped from today’s headlines: Jeffrey Dahmer
Harland’s new series: Robot Monster for Nick
How to pronounce high-class words
30:00
Cher, Sherriff, and Canadian music
Harland can’t show the picture of Robot and Monster, no wait, yes he can
The lobster crane game
Baby delivery methods
35:00
Elf on the Shelf, manipulative children’s behavior modification device
Harland’s Everest-related child-care advice
40:00
Paper clips, bubble gum, and baboon butts
Jimmy’s love of gumballs
Everyone bails on Jimmy’s faux racism
Harland’s “Origins” joke is too smart for the room
45:00
This litigeous society, with whistling sound effects
Bennie and the Jets
Harland goes out on a limb to suggest that the whistle during Bennie and the Jets was done in-studio
Harland either won or lost an argument that he may or not have started and may or may not have understood and/or changed mid-argument
Remembering meeting Jimmy, and Jimmy’s need for bathroom privacy
50:00
Harland’s kindness to Jimmy
Harland performs in lady-makeup
The intricacies of Harland’s career management
Apologies to anyone named Katz
55:00
Matt dropped the ball on something that will be taken care of and will still happen
BREAK
(Pardcast-a-thon downloads available 12/15/11)
Jimmy’s hot new character: Guy Who Doesn’t Know How to Gesture
Ring My Bell
The history of Jimmy’s hair
Harland might be doing VO5 commercials
Inside jokes, inside the shower
1:00:00
Harland’s overaged movie roles
Grownups talk about children’s shows
Personal questions abour Harland’s personal life, Chief
“I’m on the floor”
1:05:00
We won’t plug Harland’s podcast, The Harland Highway
“Buddy” is preferable to “arse-munch” or is it?
Jimmy gets invited to Coster’s house
Horror movies
The soothing sounds of Vangelis
1:10:00
Jimmy is concerned about the disappearance of the Balcony Makeout Couple
Kissing smokers and morning mouth
Matt has a passionate opinion about alcohol in mouthwash
Dan has a passionate opinion about alcohol in mouthwash
Jimmy has a passionate opinion about alcohol in mouthwash
Jimmy spills the beans on his drinking days
Checking in with new blingy microphone
1:15:00
Harland’s KFC joke, Lee Harvey Oswald, and G. Gordon Liddy
The stock holdings of Jimmy, Harland, and Matt
Celery and Sesame Street
Old school kid’s characters are old
1:20:00
Jimmy’s resemblance to Medusa
Radio and Rhiannon vs. Rihanna
Jimmy’s false history of the put-upon hero
Following baseball
“Seven minute abs!”
There’s something about remembering There’s Something About Mary
1:25:00
Elton John’s Rocket Man in the movie Rocket Man
Harland busts open the ugly side of showbiz: clearance rights for images and music
The Hangover II tattoo rights saga
Jimmy might have the same tattoo as a celebrity
1:30:00
Harland might get Never Not Funny sued for his pitch-perfect rendition of “Let’s get readyyy to rummmmm************!!!”
Phone-jamming technology in venues
Jimmy lost his ass on “Where’s the Beef?”
Jimmy Lady Voice: The Return
Ending on a laugh and A Christmas Carol
Subscibe here
AK-47 gone, not forgotten
IN-STUDIO NOTES BY DAN KATZ
10 – Jimmy tells the origin story of the Pardo/Williams relationship.
15 – Guest Harland Williams ruined Jimmy’s Halloween. Harland writes children’s books too. Harland lost his virginity 3 times. At Harland’s insistence, Jimmy does a lady’s voice.
20 – There are so many things Jesus can’t do. Harland lost his virginity for the 4th and 5th time at fast food joints. The guys talk Arby’s.
25 – Harland didn’t do his laundry, ran out of socks, and had to wear Christmas stockings.
30 – The guys talk about the band Sheriff.
35 – Elf on the shelf is the best. The guys talk about a baby climbing Everest.
40 – A baboon’s ass looks like bubble gum, but it’s not. Jimmy loves white gumballs, doesn’t care for black gumballs. Black Gumball was a great Pam Grier movie. A lady called Harland a troglodyte for hitting her son.
45 – The guys talk Benny & The Jets. Harland tells the story about the fact that Jimmy doesn’t enjoy doing a #2 in a hotel room.
50 – The guys talk about Harland’s management. Apologies to The Katz family.
BREAK
0 – Jimmy has a new character: Guy Who Doesn’t Know How To Gesture. The guys talk about the different ages Harland has played.
5 – Jimmy and Matt talk about the shows their kids watch. Harland is a bachelor. Jimmy talks about the hardest he’s ever laughed with his father. Harland talks about Anthony Lapides.
10 – The guys talk about Vangelis. The guys miss the balcony couple. They probably broke up. Jimmy’s not sure if he should be using the mic.
15 – 20: Hot Diggitty Dog sing-a-long
25 – Jimmy forgets Harland’s scene in There’s Something About Mary. Harland talks about royalty licensing for movies.
The new mic makes me wonder if Jimmy is a Notre Dame or Oregon Ducks fan. 🙂
Pingback: Actor, Director, Comedian, Author, Cartoon Voice – Harland Williams |