625 – Chris Fairbanks

Released 4/28/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

[NOTE: Look up your own songs on YouTube! I have other stuff to do! But I might link them later.]

Intro: Penultimate episode! Winding down the season like a new age DJ.

1:20 Matt understands that he should not interrupt Jimmy’s new age DJ vibe

1:30 “How am I doin’? Look out the goddam window!”

2:00 Low tones = sore throat


2:30 You know how to sign up for season 7, so screw it

2:40 Look in the pardcast.com message board for the music bed to do your season 7 intro

2:55 Darryl Shoutout “Darryl is doing a terrific job” at NeverNotNotes.com

3:00 Chris thinks I’m from Missoula, Montana (because of an earlier conversation we had about my daughter being in Missoula. I live in Billings)

3:05 Never have Jimmy and Matt sounded so sure but been so wrong

3:10 Chris’s hat tells Jimmy he wants to get back to the ocean

3:25 Remember to visit Eliot’s website HDIND DOT FACE

4:05 “Hello Eliot”

4:15 Panicky Dan might want to talk

5:15 Dan Cronin thinks Never Not Funny should be called Banter Bootcamp

5:25 Jimmy has no idea what a patent is

5:50 Matt has thoughts about humidity

6:15 Chris needs extra time to travel by boat. Or skateboard.

6:45 Hot, open-faced sandwich

7:00 Chris has a tasty riddle

7:05 “Darryl don’t put a picture of Chris’s ridiculous hat”

7:30 The world’s quickest back-pedal

7:45 Daryl Dragon Shoutout

8:00 The Captain and Tenille

9:00 Dio and Dragon

9:30 Chris wears his confidence on his head

9:45 Clowns are for who, exactly?

10:00 Clown of the Future!

10:30 Matt knows absolutely everything about Insane Clown Posse, including their names

11:40 Which is more ghetto? 8 Mile or 7 Mile? [Darryl says: I was born and raised in Detroit. Matt is right: The lower the number, the further into the city. But, 8 Mile is the border to the suburbs. If you really want street cred, you have to be where there are no mile roads. Like where I lived.]

13:00 A shoutout to Chris’s coxswain

13:30 Kirstie Alley gargles gravel

14:00 Toni Tenille’s Torch Songs

14:20 Jimmy is now totally reliant on Intern Dan for all of his knowledge

14:45 “Now I know what that guy’s talking about!”

14:50 Daryl Dragon and Toni Tenille’s biographical info

15:30 Marty and Elayne at The Dresden

17:15 “Marty gets it. Elayne kinda gets it.”

18:15 “A giant heap of rowdy powder.”

18:30 Chris was a human pinata

19:10 Sing along with Jimmy: Love Will Keep Us Together (The Captain and Tenille)

19:15 I’m not sure Jimmy’s lyrics are 100% accurate

20:00 Sing along with Jimmy: Do That To Me One More Time (The Captain and Tenille)

20:25 Sing along with Jimmy: Shop Around (The Captain and Tenille)

20:45 Noel Paul Stookey’s Wedding Song: There Is Love

21:45 Jimmy proves the need for remedial female anatomy

22:30 The guys know a lot about feminine hygiene products

23:05 REO Speedwagon

23:20 “I think you’re interesting”

23:40 Jimmy wishes he could experience himself from the perspective of others

24:20 Sing along with Jimmy: Red Rain (Peter Gabriel)

24:45 Sing along with Jimmy: The Things We Do for Love (10cc)

24:50 Do critics like Garbage?

25:25 What does Matt think of Jimmy’s singing movie critic idea?

25:45 Wayne Brady is a terrific entertainer, and NOT a jerk-face

27:00 The filming location of Let’s Make a Deal

28:00 Jimmy dishes some little-known information about Las Vegas

28:30 Never Not Funny sold out the theater at Bridgetown. Except the balcony.

29:00 Bridgetown is great! But should they skip a year?

30:20 Darryl Shoutout “You’re from the same city as this Darryl guy?” [Darryl says: Again, Chris is wrong.]

31:30 Chris only watches pilots

32:10 The Fairbanks! CD and the dramatic breakdown in the AST Records / Fairbanks negotiations

33:45 Chris doesn’t do well in sleeveless Austin, Texas

35:15 Chris’s tee shirts were the opposite of an impulse buy

36:00 Season One Matt shows up unannounced

36:55 Sing along with Jimmy: I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston)

37:15 The secret to record sales: charity and death

37:30 Obsession about record sales figures

38:45 Jimmy’s career as a record executive

39:45 “Those people are very loyal, the hillbilly”

40:10 End of the Road vs. Achy Breaky Heart

41:30 Half-heartedly Sing along with Jimmy: Everyone Knows It’s Windy / Never My Love (The Association)

41:53 Sing along with Jimmy: Achy Breaky Heart (Billy Ray Cyrus)

42:15 “Billings, Montana is a horrible city” [Darryl says: That’s where I live. He’s not too wrong.]

42:45 Line dancing and ass-grabbing in gym class

44:00 Jimmy, Matt, and Pat know how to have a good time in a hotel room

45:00 How did Chris develop his own aggressive street style of dance?

45:45 Men at Work and Men Without Hats

46:40 Sing along with Jimmy: Pop Goes the World (Men Without Hats)

47:20 Jimmy dusts off an oldie

47:50 Jimmy gestures like an 8 year old

48:30 Sing along with Jimmy: Safety Dance (Men Without Hats)

49:00 Pop singers as cartoon animals

50:00 Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown

50:45 The return of the My Prerogative joke

51:45 Red-headed fire down below

52:30 Barenaked Ladies

53:00 Matt calls Jimmy “Jim”

53:45 Sing along with Jimmy: One Week (Barenaked Ladies)

54:15 Penis sound effects

55:20 Sing along with Jimmy: Come Sail Away (Styx)

55:30 Sing along with Jimmy: Sailing (Christopher Cross)

56:00 Songs that start with engine sounds

56:45 Soundtrack albums: La Bamba vs. Stand By Me

57:00 Plug time: Fairbanks!


58:20 Pizza was ordered on the break

59:00 Chris is busy growing out his hair

59:15 Felangie talk

59:30 Favorite words

1:00:46 Sing along with Jimmy: The Trolley Song

1:01:00 Oliverism of the day: “What’s this game?”

1:02:00 Jimmy might be better friends with Chris than he thinks

1:03:00 Beer in the kiddie pool

1:04:20 Horsie sound effects

1:04:50 Sing along with Jimmy: Rock the Boat

1:05:00 Is there too much swearing on Never Not Funny?

1:05:45 The consequences of energy drinks

1:07:00 More Stand By Me talk

1:07:30 There are pizza-ordering issues

1:08:00 Dan is proud of failure

1:09:00 Suffleboard / shuttlecock / nautical theme / exhaustion

1:10:45 In what way is Eliot wrong?

1:10:55 Sing along with Jimmy: Play that Funky Music (Wild Cherry)

1:11:45 Jimmy’s retro shirt is not retro

1:12:00 Never Not Funny Season Six shirt

1:13:15 Chris has a tattoo that looks like this: <3

1:14:00 Chris almost gets beaten by a Brazilian Jujitsu enthusiast

1:17:30 The “less than three” symbol has special meaning

1:19:00 Matt’s taste in music pisses Jimmy off

1:19:35 Sing along with Jimmy: Headin’ for a Heartbreak (Def Leppard?)

1:20:50 Sing along with Jimmy: Electric Eye

1:21:00 How did the Judas Priest guy stay closeted?

1:21:40 Bret Michaels’ brain surgery

1:22:00 TJ Miller is recovering from brain surgery

1:22:50 Sing along with Jimmy : Unskinny Bop

1:23:20 Matt’s cell phone cover is as popular as ever

1:24:30 Stupid Question of the Week

1:24:45 Joshua Hamer asks: More annoying: country music or jazz?

1:27:15 Ahhh MY BACK IS TIGHT!!!!

1:27:20 Stupid Question of the Week. David Hudson asks: Is it ok to listen to NNF with one earbud while grocery shopping?

1:28:00 Josh Gregovich asks: What would be your theme song?

1:28:30 Here begins the Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap controversy

1:31:30 Matt is the audio equivalent of the Devil Doll from Trilogy of Terror

1:32:10 Sing along with Jimmy: Everybody Dance Now

1:32:45 Season 7 subscription info. Keep it simple, stupid.

AK-47 gone, not forgotten