621 – Laurie Kilmartin
Intro: Out of doors with John Denver. “I wish nothing but the Denver family the best of luck.”
1:45 Turn up the Alice Cooper
2:20 Jimmy becomes Pootie Tang
3:00 Eliot may have done a situp
3:30 Matt’s head has been Rickrolled!
4:15 “Let me walk you through this lady”
4:30 The world needs to know what Matt and Jimmy ate
5:00 Jimmy and Laurie meet at the Funny Bone
5:00 It’s the golden era of racism
6:00 Life in the comedy condo
6:30 Dean Edwards the dueling pianist
7:00 Jimmy and Laurie were a great pairing
8:30 Jimmy, the angry guy
9:30 Laurie dives into swimming talk
10:30 Laurie saves a couple syllables
10:45 Laurie apparently has a waterproof Blackberry
11:15 Jimmy’s great swimming form
11:45 Matt wants to go to The Plunge
12:10 Laurie and the 1984 Olympics
12:45 Age talk
13:45 Is Jimmy part of Conan’s live tour?
14:45 How to shorten your work week
15:15 Jimmy’s a (fake) big deal in Cedar Rapids!
16:30 Waterproof iPods
17:15 Laurie’s public pool reviews
17:50 Laurie was an internet pioneer
18:30 Hate mail from Jimmy to Laurie
20:00 Laurie just might be antisocial
21:00 Matt’s haircut subtracts pounds and years
21:30 Why should men care about appearance?
22:00 Laurie’s hopes are about to be crushed
22:30 Laurie is a best-selling (?) (co)author
26:00 Sherri on The View
28:00 Sherri’s history
29:00 Sherri cares about signing autographs
29:30 Laurie upcoming writing work
30:30 Polanski’s The Ghost Writer
31:00 Actors who played James Bond
32:00 Jimmy’s intern-related rage is mounting!
32:30 Flakiness on Craigslist
33:30 Flakiness from Matt
34:00 IT’S ESTHER WILLIAMS!!!!!!! THIS IS A REPLAY OF THE WHOLE SUGARMAN DEBACLE!!!!!
34:45 “It’s a lady’s name? For a woman?”
35:30 The oddly named Ruth’s Chris Steak House
36:00 Back to obsessing about ESTHER WILLIAMS
37:30 It’s the debut of the four-camera shoot
38:10 Thank God, Laurie pulled the name
38:45 Droppin’ synchro knowledge
39:00 Diving is an entirely different sport than swimming
39:45 Swimming should be done in the sun
40:15 The funniest thing Matt ever said: Jimmy should wear a sleep mask
40:45 How deep can you dive underwater?
41:00 Jimmy’s new crazy irrational fear: balcony jumping
43:50 “There’s no net on this one guys!”
44:15 Jimmy needs to lick his earphones before inserting them
44:30 Stabbed in the neck at the theater
45:00 Shushing at the movies
47:00 Laurie’s irrational fear may not be that irrational
48:15 Laurie regrets her lack of drug-taking and lesbian sex
49:00 Matt is planning on becoming a 50 year old junkie
49:45 Laurie’s Texas Christian Ding-Dong binge
51:15 Ding-Dongs vs. booze
52:15 Jimmy’s fantasy baseball team names
53:30 Jimmy has created his own opportunity for failure
56:00 Tiger’s texts vs. old scandals
57:00 Jesse James, cheating, and white supremecy
57:45 Can you say that on a podcast?
58:30 You look mahvalous!
59:00 The SNL cast
1:00:00 Kristin Wiig’s characters
1:00:30 Nobody knew who Nancy Grace was 6 years ago
1:01:00 Break time!
1:01:30 Jimmy spins out of AK47-related awkwardness
1:02:00 Laurie explains the co-authoring process
1:03:00 The lack of preemie humor
1:03:30 More High DASH Mountain clarification
1:04:30 Jimmy ate crap in Vegas all weekend
1:04:45 Laurie gives Jimmy a “timing laugh”
1:05:30 Buying Nelson Cruise
1:06:00 Jimmy’s dream about Laurie
1:07:00 Jimmy’s dream about Bob Seger
1:08:15 Rod Stewart vs. Bob Seger
1:10:00 Laurie’s musical tastes
1:11:00 Sing along with Jimmy: Single Ladies (Beyonce)
1:11:15 I Gotta a Feeling: most crass pop song?
1:12:00 Jimmy gets invited to judge freestyle rap
1:13:00 What Jimmy likes about 8 Mile
1:13:45 At a party with the very pretty Molly Shannon
1:15:45 Who doesn’t want to be a boy toy?
1:16:00 Johnny Two Times makes a guest appearance
1:16:30 Controversy over Jimmy’s height leads to Jimmy calling Laurie an asshole for the second time in the show
1:17:45 Pondering the offstage persona
1:19:00 Pairing off in Chicago
1:19:47 Romy or Romy?
1:21:00 Who booked three girls on one show?
1:21:15 How many women on a show is one too many?
1:24:00 George Lopez is caliente!
1:24:00 Stereotyping women’s comedy material
1:26:00 Christopher Hitchens sounds like a guy’s guy
1:27:15 Jimmy owns whatever it is that he just did that may or may not be something that needs ownership to be taken of it
1:28:30 Jimmy quotes Michael Stipe and worries about his health
1:29:45 Is there an average guy anymore?
1:30:15 Spicing up the audience by adding some color
1:31:30 Jimmy’s neighbors dress up for church
1:32:30 Matt’s day at the beach
1:33:30 Matt goes for the “gross” record
1:34:00 Potty training
1:35:00 Talking about your kids onstage: men vs. women
1:37:00 Revisiting the Las Vegas suite
1:38:00 Back to more humiliating age comparisons
1:39:00 Matthew Broderick’s emotional visit
1:39:30 The service history of Laurie’s family
1:40:30 Laurie and her peer, Betty White
1:41:30 People liked Jimmy
1:42:00 High Monkey dot com???
1:42:15 Laurie is at www.kilmartin.com
AK-47, gone not forgotten