626 – Scott Aukerman

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Released 5/5/2010

Intro: The exciting finale, featuring ear-rape

2:00 Scott gets called a motherfucker before the 2 minute mark

2:45 Intern Dan needs a nickname, but not one that Matt chooses

3:40 Clarifying Eliot’s website and name

4:15 Dirigible is pronounced both properly and improperly

5:35 Scott Aukerman is here to close out the season

6:15 Scott is looking great!

6:50 Scott’s 7-11 meal story, a Never Not Funny exclusive, involving a creepy guy, a lovely young lady, and a hot dog

12:30 Homeless woman at Arby’s and Jimmy’s least favorite topic

13:20 Airplane bathroom strategies

14:00 Bluetooth confusion

15:00 Scott’s marriage is great, but he would have sex with a pretty lady if she asked

16:15 Conan as Kennedy

16:50 Quimby, Lucky Pierre and  – forget it, Dan shuts it down

18:35 “How dare you, it’s 2008!”

19:00 What would it take to make Scott happy?

19:30 Scott’s frame was not in style as a teen

20:00 Jimmy should have graduated from high school in 1979

20:30 Jimmy loves everything about the 80s except Rubik’s Cube

21:30 “How do you like that. Statement.”

21:30 Matt tittle-tattles and tells how to subscribe

23:00 Jimmy thanks the listeners

23:20 Please tell us about the greasy pizza

24:45 Jimmy has pizza envy

25:30 “Let’s talk about your dating history”

26:30 Jimmy is the star of a penis-related website

27:00 Scott wants to know Jimmy the Cassanova

28:00 Matt’s 90s sexploits

29:20 The top-selling single trivia game

30:45 The Macarena (Los del Rio)

33:00 Disgusting sexual slang

34:00 “Does that pasta look bad to you?”

35:00 Scott’s early girlfriend-related fooling around

36:45 “Inandoutandinandout”

37:15 Scott joins the cutting edge Facebook revolution

38:10 If I Could Turn Back Time (Cher)

38:30 “I have more sex questions for Scott”

39:00 Scott’s CD mix club

41:00 Missing the Galleria

42:15 Let’s play guess one of a million things

42:45 Why Jimmy doesn’t get invited to poker

43:45 Scott’s poker credits

44:30 Matt doesn’t know how to respond to hook-hand talk

45:30 Will there be a cliffhanger for the season finale?

45:50 The NNF death curse

46:30 The Facebook Obama prayer

48:00 Obama’s report card

49:00 Jimmy hides his Facebook friends

50:45 Susan Powter, host of The Weakest Link

51:40 Scott as Monica Lewinsky

52:30 The fame / sexual weirdness formula

53:15 What words are off-limits on Never Not Funny?

54:50 Scott is trying to get into the opening credits, but misunderstands the rules


56:55 Jimmy inhaled a powdered donut

57:20 Don’t worry, the area code mystery is solved

58:45 The Beach Boys Suck song

59:10 Mister Sandman / Enter Sandman

1:00:45 Why Scott chose not to have DJ Z Trip at his wedding

1:01:30 Everyone is underdressed for the season finale

1:03:00 DJ No Communicate shows up at Scott’s wedding

1:04:00 Kulap was in tears, so the whole wedding was really funny

1:05:30 The most important thing about Scott’s wedding

1:06:15 Little Old Lady from Pasadena (Jan and Dean / The Beach Boys)

1:06:20 The Little Old Lady is really foul-mouthed

1:06:40 Counting Crows sucks, in a complicated thumbs-down gesture-worthy way

1:08:00 Scott’s salad-dressing themed sketch

1:09:00 Refrigerator logic

1:09:50 What is the Little Old Lady from Pasadena about?

1:10:30 Jump (Van Halen)

1:11:30 The Pointer Sisters’ crack house

1:12:40 Little Old Lady from Pasadena lyrics

1:14:15 Renting from old ladies

1:15:00 Jimmy crushes spirits with his jokes

1:16:45 Day Tripper (The Beatles)

1:17:05 Come Together (The Beatles)

1:17:10 Hair

1:17:20 Aquarius

1:17:35 Mash-up bonus episode idea

1:18:45 Matt wants to Tesla this idea

1:19:00 This has to be record for the use of the c word

1:19:30 N word panic

1:20:00 Matt’s Stryper phone case is mocked once again

1:20:25 Loud (KISS)

1:20:35 I Love Rock and Roll (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts)

1:20:50 Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)

1:22:30 Stupid Question of the Week – Michael Webb: When exiting a plane, do you rush to get out, or wait your turn?

1:23:20 Seth Green: someone Jimmy can feel superior to

1:24:20 The death of the world’s tiniest man

1:25:00 Blue Jean (David Bowie)

1:25:20 Judge Jimmy – Bob Kerr: Should I rent a sleeping bag or borrow one?

1:27:00: Judge Jimmy Part Deux – Should we bother calling people sir or ma’am?

1:32:50 Hitch a Ride (Boston)

1:34:50 Jimmy defines “hard shoe,” thus ending years of bitter, divisive controversy

1:35:10 When I’m Back on My Feet Again (Michael Bolton)

1:35:20 You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’ (Leo Sayer)

1:35:30 Dancin’ Machine (Jackson 5)

1:35:40 Love Machine (The Miracles)

1:35:55 Workin’ for the Weekend (Loverboy)

1:35:05 Weekend in New England (Barry Manilow)

1:36:10 Say Say Say (Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney)

1:36:15 Play the Game Tonight (Kansas)

1:36:20 Play the Game (Queen)

1:36:45 Fat Bottomed Girls (Queen)

1:37:35 Jimmy misquotes Spinal Tap

1:37:55 Maudlin time: Thanks for sympathies and kind words during a trying year

1:39:00 Teasing season seven

AK-47 gone, not forgotten