Episode 326 – Paul F. Tompkins

Released 9/16/2008

(No Pardcast.com message board for this episode)

Intro: Matt Belknap: “PRODUCER OF HUMAN LIFE!” Matt and Andrew are in camp shirts.

Producer of Human Life Matt Belknap, and Paul F. Tompkins

1:25 Andrew thanks Jimmy for pronouncing his last name correctly

1:35 Paul is immediately impatient about not being introduced yet

1:45 “This is the last show of the episode!”

2:00 Paul is in black: “How you doin’ Johnny Cash?”

3:00 Civilians can’t take it like comics can

3:30 How to handle being confronted by a ghost

4:30 Paul is not afraid of no ghost

5:00 Jimmy isn’t humming what he thinks he’s humming

5:40 Sing along with Jimmy: I Want a New Drug (Huey Lewis and The News)

6:00 Jimmy whips out a good segue

6:20 Paul and Andrew chat and play JirboBreak

6:40 Mother Effer! Jimmy didn’t set his DVR for the ball game

7:15 Housekeeping about the Primo mixup. Podbean, iTunes, PayPal, Pardcast and other internetty sounding words are involved

8:30 Matt’s kid has messed up the the system and ruined lives

9:15 Jimmy mocks the listeners’s emails

9:30 Iconoid is better than JirboBreak

10:00 Andrew has new content at MonkeyGoLucky.com

Bailey Quarters

10:45 Bailey Quarters: Paul’s crush

11:15 Celebrity murder is not funny

11:45 Arguing about the definition of “attack”

Gabe Kaplan

12:15 Bonnie Bedelia and Marcia Strassman

13:00 ‘I know Gabe Kaplan can be a dick!”

14:00 Jimmy and Paul can’t tell a joke

15:15 Andrew tries to calm everyone down

15:30 Guy On Plane 1 would love to hear Jimmy’s act

16:15 The Airplane reunion

17:00 Early indications that NNF needs an intern

18:00 Lonnie Anderson’s WKRP look

Loni Anderson

18:30 Ugly guys used to be able to get acting work

18:45 Headphones down!

19:00 One week ago from recording day, 5:43 pm, Zoe Juliet was born

19:45 Jimmy has responded to hundreds of emails

20:00 Thanks to all Matt’s well-wishers

20:20 Like most babies, looks a little Asian

20:50 Paul calls out the racism

21:30 Will there be a third Ghostbusters movie?

22:00 “You don’t want to see babies busting ghosts?”

22:15 Jimmy’s white-guy pronunciation of rapper names

Eric B & Rakim

23:15 Matt likes Eric B and Rakim

24:00 Man on Wire is Jimmy’s 3rd favorite movie of the year

25:00 It turns out Matt hates Asians

25:15 The Aukerman wedding

25:45 It’s nice to see jaded comedians be like real human beings

27:15 Jon Hamm’s attractiveness bends light

28:00 Paul calls out Jimmy’s Jon Hamm obsession

28:15 Matt watches both Regis and Kelly

29:45 Regis and Joy love The Mad Men

31:00 Kelly’s grueling work schedule

Regis and Kelly

31:30 Jimmy crumbles without a pause

32:00 Sweet n Low should be allowed to advertise

33:15 Will advertising electricity get more people on board?

34:00 Suprising Joy Philbin with Jon Hamm

34:45 Bon-bons and stories

35:15 The comedian on Mad Men

36:00 Paul is curious about Jimmy’s acting technique

36:00 TV show premier galas

37:00 Eminem and Vanilla Ice

Stefanie Powers and Robert Wagner

37:00 Remembering Hart to Hart

37:30 Modern music by The Decemberists on Mad Men

38:15 Back to Matt’s birth story

38:45 Jimmy’s uncanny ability to predict Zoe’s birth as happening “any day now”

39:30 The Avacado Grill

40:00 “Dollar pound… dollar pound






dollar pound.”

41:00 Elise’s dogsitting job

42:00 Jimmy laments the lack of headphones

42:00 “Dollar pound” could become a recurring rap phrase

43:00 Andrew is pleased with himself over his gross joke about water breaking

44:15 Matt proves he is not a professional

45:00 Jimmy goes to remedial flipping-off school

45:45 Bag packing for the delievery

46:30 Palin talk

47:15 “We took a walk just to see what would happen”

48:30 Matt was overwhelmed with information, so he couldn’t remember the most important part of timing delivery

49:00 “I’m calling you out! On the world wide web!”

50:00 Avoiding childbirth trends

51:00 “Let’s not dick around here”

51:45 Jimmy knows about the earth on its axis

Purchased from Paul's Baby-Bait Store

52:30 Matt has a horrible idea about inducing labor

53:15 Paul suggests luring the baby out

53:3o Break time!

54:15 Jimmy recites We’re an American Band

54:45 Shortening kids’ names

56:30 Pain meds during labor

58:30 Paul knows why the doctor took so long to get there

59:45 Salt n Pepa help with the pushing

1:00:30 Matt tells Paul (the shut-down king) how comedy works

1:01:30 Who’s winning at breakout?

1:02:15 Jimmy’s hillbilly housewife character

1:03:00 Matt discusses “the major part”

Bernadette Peters

1:05:15 “Even at this, I’m a little bit better than you”

1:06:00 Billy Crystal in Rabbit Test

1:07:00 The adorable Bernadette Peters

1:07:30 Rushing to the O.R.

1:08:00 Paul gently explains the c-section process

1:09:00 Andrew ponders the future of marital romance after watching birth

1:10:00 Jimmy gloats

1:11:00 Baby Monitor: The Sound of Fear

1:12:30 Sing along with Jimmy: A Moment Like This (Kelly Clarkson)

1:12:45 Childhood video and photos

1:13:30 Matt’s first look at Zoe

1:14:00 Announcing the name

1:15:00 Paul mocks Matt

1:15:45 Al Pacino likes playing humans

1:17:00 Paul is either dying, or moving to New York

Absolutely worth a flight across the country

1:17:30 If the show is successful, maybe he can move it back to L.A.

1:18:45 Paul will fly back to L.A. for his $20 NNF appearance

1:19:00 ISDN

1:19:45 Paul’s yard sale plans

1:20:00 Paul meets a petite couch-moving woman

1:22:00 True Blood and switchblade sound effects

1:24:00 Andrew is afraid to get involved with J.J. Abrams again

1:24:30 Lost gets Lost

1:25:30 Cloverfield /Star Trek

1:26:30 Paul is not sure if he allowed to mention the show name

1:27:00 We need a jingle for Question of the Week

1:27:15 “Don’t just pay for the show, also work for it!” (Hmmm, that’s a little close to home)

1:28:00 Video has bailed, audio is still going

1:28:32 David Riewald: At the urinal, what do you aim for?

1:30:00 Aiming / foot splash / urinal cakes / ice /spit (no more details… this is making me queasy)

1:32:00 “I like how the cameras are down but his mic is still working”

1:32:30 Why do men spit so much?

1:33:30 Talking in the bathroom

1:34:00 “No, that sounds normal and great”

1:34:30 Sing along with Jimmy: Mind Games (John Lennon)

1:35:00 This was “The Best Season Ever” for obvious reasons!

1:35:30 We’ll get 7 versions of the jingle

1:36:00 Jimmy bails out of season 4

1:36:30 Sing along with Jimmy: Mad at the World (Daver) – No link, you’ve heard it already.

1:37:00 Paul is non-commital about staying in touch

1:37:15 “If that town is just an apple, then brother take a bite.”

1:37:45 Congrats to everybody

1:38:00 Plugging the Paul F. Tompkins roast

Ooonnnn the Primo!