Episode 306 – Todd Glass, Toothless Pigs, and Matt’s New Car

Episode 306 – Todd Glass

Show notes for this episode by Tom Bolton. Thanks Tom!

1:20 Jimmy still hates Billy Joel and Todd Glass is here

2:50 A message to Jimmy Buffett fans: kill yourself

3:05 Jimmy is coming in with some anger

4:12 Todd’s DVD is a three cellphone camera shoot

5:24 Tom Snyder is dead?

5:40 Do not try to engage Andrew.

6:10 Todd Glass theory about vegans.

6:44 “I’m a lion and I’m chasing down a gazelle”

7:00 Animals live a torturous life

8:00 “I had sex with a toothless pig once…”

8:10 Todd sweats when he laughs, luckily he’s wearing a short pant

8:28 Jimmy says flapjacks

9:30 Todd tries to play

10:25 “ROLL IT BACK!”

10:46 “Ok, flaphanks”

10:52 “We got the new microphones!

11:02 Matt’s dad got hearing aids

Sing-along with Jimmy: “I think I’m turning 68” by The Vapors

12:54 Infomercials/Todd’s a hack/”Play it back!”

13:20 Nosey old ladies and 9/11

14:02 Necco Wafers

15:00 Matt’s new car

16:06 SIFTA=Save It For The Air

16:15 Todd’s NEW podcast “Comedy and Everything Else”

18:00 Todd’s views on raising children

18:40 Todd hates his laugh, Jimmy loves it

19:20 Back to raising kids

20:02 Jimmy makes a pun on dentists and he’s quicker than Matt and Todd

20:35 More child raising talk

23:45 Todd’s rules for his podcast

24:14 “Episode 306, in the can…”

24:35 Todd’s sweating despite wearing a short pant

24:55 Andrew is so stinkin’ handsome

25:29 Back to Matt’s new car…oh wait…

25:50 Pot smokin’ hippies

28:00 Nosy people about junk food

29:50 Jimmy amplifies for humor

30:08 Pot talk.

31:10 Driving while high

32:35 On the phone while driving

32:55 Smoking with minors in the car

34:40 Smoking in your home

35:50 Smoking section on airplanes

36:25 The smoking ban

39:45 Everybody has drank drip spit

40:10 Firetrucks! Update!

41:58 Secondhand smoke is total Bullshit (with Penn and Teller)

42:30 Circumcision Discuscision

44:44 Jimmy’s answering machine messages are hilarious

45:30 Gun control and Jimmy’s whiney noise

46:00 Finally! Back to Matt’s new car.

47:48 Todd and illegal deep fried hot dogs at Dairy Queen

48:50 “Shouah!”

49:10 Buying a car.

50:55 What is SwapLease.com?

52:35 Keep your car clean!

52:45 Troy Conrad: Jesus: The Clown

53:00 Filthy cars

54:04 “Cut that fuckin’ thing into a halter top and shammy down the car”

54:45 Making Matt laugh makes Jimmy happy

56:00 The Sopranos and Deadwood

56:45 Jimmy drives a Nazi car

58:15 Todd loves his Prius but also loves SUVs

58:30 Lake Arrowhead is great

1:00:00 Mountain Bike Skiing at Big Bear

1:01:00 Missing stand-up on vacation

1:01:40 Italy, or Ittly

1:02:25 FLIP FLOP FLIP FLOP song

1:03:45 Todd loves singing but can’t.

1:04:45 Todd used to close with Sweet Caroline, but can’t sing it

1:06:00 A more intimate show setting

1:08:19 A long path to make fun of Todd

1:08:40 Why Todd respects Daniel Kinno

1:10:07 Do bad comedians know they’re bad comedians?

1:10:45 Todd keeps doing comedy until everyone leaves.

1:11:55 Marathon stand-up sets don’t make sense

1:13:55 “You ever see Don Cickles?”

1:14:15 Don Rickles show is like a musical about Don Rickles

1:15:30 Its time for Stupid Question Of The Week

1:17:05 “One guy’s got a flugelhorn…”

1:17:35 Stupid Question Of The Week: What doesn’t belong on a sandwich?

1:18:45 Gum sandwich!

1:19:10 TOO MUCH doesn’t belong on a sandwich

1:19:25 “Stop bragging about the height of food”

1:19:30 Jimmy nearly chokes to death from laughing

1:20:15 ANT is reeeeeeeaaallly funny

1:21:15 “Never Not Kicked a Pickle Off a Sandwich” and song

1:21:50 “Pickles And Relish” comedy team

1:23:10 Stupid Question Of The Week:  What’s your favorite sandwich?

1:23:25 “You are officially… a horse’s ass.”

1:23:30 “Am I technically dumb or…” “YEAH, YOU ARE!”

1:23:45 “I know my favorite sandwich right away.”

1:23:50 Todd loses it and runs around the room.

1:24:10 “Do you guys think I’m dumb?  Sometimes I think I’m dumb. I KNOW MY SANDWICH!!”

1:24:30 Todd’s favorite sandwich is grilled cheese

1:25:00 Todd’s theory: Grilled Cheese: Just as good as lobster

1:26:00  A sandwich shop? Unheard of!

1:26:30 Leftover Thanksgiving sandwich is once again…incredible

1:27:10 Jimmy likes a lean corned beef and a french dip

1:28:30 Contest failure

1:30:17 How many firetrucks did Jimmy said came down the street? 519-ROCK, 519-ROLL

1:30:32 Oooooonnnnnn the primo