NeverNotNotes

24Z – Live at in Houston White Oak Music Hall

Find the show at Pardcast.com
In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Live show notes by Ken Roberts
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

IN-STUDIO NOTES
@NeverNotFunny
@JimmyPardo
@MattBelknap
@EliotHochberg
@MyNameIsGaron
@luvrhino (Ken, but rarely used)
@DarrylAsher (if you want to be updated when show notes are up, or see pictures of my three kitty-cats)

00 – 24 Zed! Not 25!

Name pronouncing.

Name dropping thing jr.

Ironed Man?

Mail!

Package from Stephen Yates who donated to sit in on the show!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/September_(Earth,_Wind_%26_Fire_song)

Matt 78/12
Jimmy 77/6
Eliot 75/3

10 – Doc talk!

Matt and Jimmy play the packing bubbles.

Jack of All Trades.

15 – More mail!

From Dane Coffey. He recaps the season of winners.

20 – Round the horn!

Thanks Dane!

Thank you fans!

30 – My P is Patty Smyth!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandal_(American_band)

Eliot’s P is Patti LuPone.

Matt’s going Paula Abdul!

Sorry fans no deal this time.

3 Paula Cole 2 Patti LuPone 1 Pat Benatar!

Male Solo Artists for next season!

Jimmy’s doing a fundraiser show.

See you next season!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth

LIVE SHOW NOTES
by Ken Roberts

(Per Ken’s instructions, I have added 37 minutes to each original timecode. – Darryl)

Ken prefers his contact to be: http://www.hawc.org/donate

37 Standing ovation for Jimmy during opening theme.

38 Jimmy cold.

39 Garon for a Day Ken Roberts not cold. Ken is dressed like he’s going to mow the lawn.

40 Buy merch!

41 Welcome Matt Belknap! No standing ovation for Matt. Daddy demands standing ovation for his stand-up later.

42 Cheechless Chong’s standing-up comedy is not great.

43 Ken came prepared to flop-sweat being on stage with Daddy.

44 Sosa is on the boards tonight.

45 Lyft driver Candida. Jimmy loves the name. Lyft driver Robyns may have been drunk or high with Marty Feldman-esque eyes and 1994 Drakkar fragrance.

47 Matt’s hair dysmorphia.

48 Ken is taking his notes job seriously, using a stopwatch log times.

50 Mittenhead talk with fan Bret Stewart of Grand Rapids.

51 Matt sings “I Can Only Image” again, which isn’t by Jackson Maine.

52 Russian nesting Jackson Maine dolls.

53 Oscars Gaga/Cooper talk.

55 Ken is a mistake…and also a good man. Talk about Ken’s Race Against Violence this morning, supporting the Houston Area Women’s Center. Ken tries to keep it brief mentioning that it is one of his top three charities. Houston Area Women’s Center is the main domestic and sexual violence charity in Houston and has the only shelter for domestic violence survivors in Houston’s 610 Loop.

[Donate to Houston Area Women’s Center at:
http://www.hawc.org/donate]

Jimmy comes to the realization he may not be the nicest man alive. Ken hadn’t realized he had been yelled at the past decade he’s known Jimmy.

[I would like to note that in 2016, Jimmy made a very generous donation a few hundred dollars to my fundraising page for the Race Against Violence. Jimmy is very good man. -ken]

57 Vitrazza talk begins.

https://www.vitrazza.com/

Ken interrupts because he is a mistake and doesn’t know how to Garon properly.

58 The mail is here. Ken has a written apology note for being a bad Garon. Jimmy and Matt yell at him for having a pre-planned bit. Format pays homage to Roger Stone’s Notice of Apology from a couple weeks previous:

Stone, Lawyers File Formal ‘Notice of Apology’ to Judge

60 The mail is here again. Ken’s second note apologizes for having a pre-planned bit. Ken doesn’t deserve a standing ovation.

62 Vitrazza talk restarts. They are absurdly expensive for a floor mat.

65 Jimmy owes Matt $40 for correctly guessing that “She’s Like the Wind” went to #3 in Dallas the previous night.

66 George Pardo, President of Vitrazza

67 Jimmy buys dollar store quality vinyl bathmat for use under his chair and wants to return it.

Sends e-mail and uses Jim when signing off. Takes 3 weeks for customer service agent Kim to respond to “James.” In subsequent e-mail, Kim wants “Jimmy” to take photos of crap mat.

69 (up top) Matt chastizes Jimmy for buying shitty things from internet ads.

71:30 Jimmy buys the best cases from internet ads. “Make Cases Great Again” joke comes from fan, Mama Coco.

72:30 Jimmy missed out on his Jar-Jar impersonation career.

73 Ted Cruz/Zodiac Killer. Bret Stewart is a bit loud.

74 Front row fan (Bonnie) has My Favorite Murder totebag. My Favorite Murder will be the halftime performer at next year’s Super Bowl. Jimmy expresses fondness for shirtless Adam Levine. [Yes, again. -ken]

75:30 Jimmy’s legendary, re-married Lexington buddy (who’s left unnamed) leads to nudist camp talk. They were the best looking people at the camp.

77 Young Matt took bathing suit showers in public. PE shower talk.

78 Ken fact checks Jimmy’s penis length. It’s 2″ not 2.5″.

78:30 Penis tattoo talk.

79:30 Ken brought one Coke Zero and 2 Arizona AP Zero for Jimmy. [See attached photo] He’s a fucking great intern. Jimmy takes Arizona AP Zero. Ken was raised in a barn and didn’t close the door when going to the green room to fetch.

80:45 Talk about the movie “Eighth Grade.” Jimmy interacts with Chase in the front row.

83 Ken is a genius….or can at least do simple modular math quickly.

Young Jimmy fucking in his Fiero.

85 Zoe Belknap now has a more real gym class in middle school.

86:30 Oliver Pardo has boring gym class with bland ARod (Alex Rodriguez) as coach. Matt does “Jenny from the Block” talk. Jennifer Lopez leads the glamorous life as does Shiela E.

88 Jeff Daniels being from Michigan talk.

89:30 More calendar stuff. Ken is good with Gregorian Calendar (September 14, 1752 and later for English-speaking countries).

91:30 Ken is a super nerd and displeases Jimmy. It shouldn’t be “his pleasure.”

93:00 Jimmy has Celebrity Sighting. Jimmy takes a step out during Celebrity Sighting song and teaches Ken how to close a door.

93:40 Pre-show, Sosa said, “I listen to a lot of podcasts, but I’ve never heard of yours.” Sosa appears to have been won over by tonight’s live show.

95:00 Matt does “You can’t handle the truth” quote. [Is there a picture associated with this for NNN?]

Dirty Carson starting with Mona from Who’s the Boss just dying and ends with Joyce DeWitt taking it in the ass. Matt does his Ed McMahon impersonation.

96:00 Jimmy’s Celebrity Sighting. On afternoon of Thursday, Feb 28. Pico & La Brea in car next to Jimmy. Gentleman. Tesla driver. As an aside, “celebrity” Paul Gilmartin is proud about his Prius Prime and doesn’t shut up about it.

97:40 Hammer Slice

Back to Celebrity Sighting:

Actor and wears many hats. Most well known for acting.

Mary Lou Retton trained in Houston but is from WV.

JIMMY SINGS! “West Virginia” by John Denver.

Celebrity is not a voice over guy. Don’t be stupid

Let’s take a moment to remember my wonderful but contest-losing tee shirt design

Producer-director? Yes.

Better known from comedy? Yes.

100:30 Matt has a tone. Jimmy asserts that he’s the host of tonight’s show. Celebrity has never been on NNF. Ken asks if the celebrity is Caucasian? Jimmy doesn’t see color, but yes.

102:00 Celebrity is 40 to 50 years-old.

Talkin’ about Matt’s generation.

Bobby D is short for Roger Daltrey…or, more accurately, Robert Dinero. Matt as Dinero sings “My Generation.”

Celebrity may or may not be on a current show.

103 FRED SAVAGE from the audience for the win. Fred Savage has been invited to be on NNF multiple times but didn’t have time. He somehow had time for Comedy Bang Bang.

105 Jimmy was the +1 on his beautiful wife’s invitation to Danielle Fishel’s wedding.

Matt gets Ring notification on his phone.

Danielle Koenig does not like Chinese, but likes lots of Asian food. Jimmy chooses not to do the cheap Asian joke. Jimmy does, however, wonder whether eating sushi is a euphemism for “eating puss.”

107 Matt put together the NNF Season 24 intro with Charlie. Charlie memorized it…and keeps quoting it to classmates…including the prostitution and murder quotes. Matt asks his 6(?) year-old to leave those two quotes out.

109 SEVENS! Ken plays the theme from Mike Henry’s bandcamp page while audience sings along, sweetly:

https://heymikehenry.bandcamp.com/album/the-never-not-funny-themes

Can’t do 80s Music because Jimmy and Ken already nailed at an Austin live show [They scored 28 during Season 21 despite Ken not knowing “She drowned in a bathtub” meant Whitney Houston. -ken]

Jimmy and Matt do not want to do the Football category for Sevens with Ken, even though it’s the only one that had never been
played before according to the Sevens Leaderboard (before Summer 2019 application update):

https://public.tableau.com/views/LetsPlaySevens/LetsPlaySevens?:embed=y&:display_count=yes&publish=yes&:showVizHome=no

[Behind the Scenes: After the show, Jimmy and Ken played the Football category in the green room and scored a 19.]

Ken’s out!

111 Welcome David Sosa, sound guy, to play Sevens, instead.

112 Category 2000s General

David Sosa born Feb 26, 1998. Ken is too discombobulated to do date arithmetic because he was too busy concentrating on notes, playing catch up. It’s a Thursday.

Sosa gets a zero as Jimmy gives up after 4 or 5 questions when Sosa answers “50 Cent” to rapper named after a southeastern state and “Clint Eastwood” to the clue “he played the Joker.” The correct answer was “Heath Ledger.”

115:30 Mel Gibson talk. “Alcohol allows you to be who you wanted to be.”

117 Ken’s back in! Jimmy and Ken score a 26 in 70s Music. Very good clue giving except for the one Jimmy skipped. Never revealed who it was. Time to choose a contestant.

118 Michael works at a Cinemark movie theater. Low energy and dismissed.

119 Lance was also born March 2, but in 1972. He incorrectly thought that he was born on a Tuesday when it was Thursday. [Idiot. -ken] Sent back to his seat for having the name Lance. There was another Lance from Texas who cheated.

120 Allie is up next. Been married for five years…about half a decade. Allie is personal trainer. Talk about doing planks. Allie has Gene Simmons Tongue.

122 During the second clue of the game, Lance answers from audience. Jimmy lectures him.

123 New game, Lance’s wife answers first question of “Steve Perry’s band.”

Jimmy lectures audience again.

124 Allie gets kicked off because she didn’t get the “Steve Perry’s band” clue.

Next potential contestant doesn’t get all the way to the stage because she declares she “hates 70s music” and is sent back to her seat.

125 Michael has broken foot. Michael has beautiful wife, Shannon.

First clue from first attempt at Sevens was Jimmy aborting on Sly and the Family Stone.

New Game

Jimmy gives clue about the most famous Led Zeppelin song involving climbing to a place. Jimmy mishears Michael saying “Stepladder to Heaven.”

Jimmy and Michael scores 18.

Michael clarifies he actually said, “Jacob’s Ladder” not “Stepladder to Heaven.” Michael concedes that’s by Rush as he goes back to his wife, Shannon.

Jimmy Sings! “Shannon” by Henry Gross.

127 Time’s up. Need to wrap it up.

Jimmy grateful.

———-

KEN’S BEHIND THE SCENES NOTES

Jimmy and Ken played the football category in the green room after the show. Scored a Hardcastle. I didn’t realize when we were selecting categories on stage that everyone had to do the same one. I chose Football in the hopes that an audience member could beat it by using a different category.

More selfishly, I chose Football so I could be the last one to have “First Time in the Category” status…not realizing there would be a Sevens update with all new categories this summer.

It turns out that Garon Cockrell‘s job is rather difficult. I spent too much time on writing notes for Never Not Notes, (Thanks, Ken -Darryl) seen by possibly tens of people, (Hey!!!! Well, true. – Darryl) than actually being present for the show that goes out to thousands. Of course, notes could have been fixed later. I’m an idiot. (Ken is a rare human who cares enough to update notes after the episode airs, so don’t get any ideas, future Garons-for-a-Day! – Darryl)

That was still a thrill and a joy. I apologize for my voice. I’ve never been participated in comedy on stage for an extended period of time before, so I’m glad I didn’t fuck up too badly. (No voice apologies needed; you sounded great. Everyone hates their own voice without that sweet, sweet jawbone resonance we hear in our own ears. -Darryl)

Standup show was great. I’m thrilled that Jimmy used my suggestion of opening act, local Houston comic Dusti Rhodes.

If anyone wants to donate to the Houston Area Women’s Center, they may do so below.

https://hawc.org/get-involved/donate/

(Thanks tons for a job well done AND providing plenty of laughs! -Darryl)