24U- Jimmy and Matt Perform Live at the Dallas Comedy House
Find the show at Pardcast.com
In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher
Jimmy complains about the late time slot. We’re grown people, we should be in bed
Jimmy introduces Garon for the Day Cameron Buchholtz and asks about late shows. Cameron goes dark immediately and makes suicide joke.
The projection screen is slow to rise.
Hanson vs. Jonas Brothers.
Front guy drove in from Wister, OK. Front row looks uncomfortable with four big guys squeezed in together.
Matt Belknap is introduced.
How many Hanson brothers? Jimmy says Zac was not friendly when he was on Conan. The oldest Hanson brother claps like Pelosi. Is that an Oklahoma clap?
Matt says that I will have his ass if Cameron doesn’t take notes, and Matt doesn’t get them to me. Guess what? Cameron took notes, but Matt never sent them, so I had to get them directly from Cameron. Did I “have his ass”? No. Other than this. -Darryl
Wister is four hours away.
Bermuda Triangle was it real? No one seems to know.
Jimmy and Matt are sitting on opposite sides than they usually sit at NNF live shows. They switch sides so it feels normal.
Pardcastathon plugs. It’s on Star Wars Day, May the Fourth. No one from Star Wars will be available. Maybe Carrie fisher’s dog.
R2 is a real robot now. Before they put Kenny Baker in a trash can and gave him a job. Lucas went out of his way to employ little people.
David Prowse is a pill.
Jimmy says Star Wars movies aren’t good and License to Drive was better.
Who talked shit on David Prowse in a previous episode? Clown mom story? No one can remember
Wind in my Face song. Reminds Jimmy of breath. Gross. Turn your head. Don’t put your cum breath in my face. That goes in the act. Very topical.
At what age does Jimmy stop talking about jizz on stage?
Did Jimmy say if he still is doing this in 10 years he’s kill himself more than 10 years ago. Audience confirms.
“She’s Like The Wind.” How high did it chart. Jimmy wants to be with everything in his pocket.Matt won. It went to number 3. Jimmy had $40.
Overpriced cab ride. Matt paid cash. Cab looked like Mater. Cab driver yelled at them immediately. Jimmy doesn’t close door so driver snaps in Jimmy’s face. Nott closed enough. More yelling. Prices also in Jimmy’s face. Pamphlet further explains cabs also gets put in Jimmy’s face.
Most harrowing 2 minute car ride of their lives. No suspension. Sudden stops. Cab driver has no idea what credit is. Phone swipes make Matt nervous except for their own merch. Was the cab driver a hitman and got cold feet? The pamphlet delivers the poison. Cab driver was trying to help because the ride was so short. Cab line guy gets a push back to not help.
Mrs. Maisel summer camp was like Dirty Dancing. Why with parents? Matt has a business idea for a summer camp like in Dirty Dancing.
Is Patrick Swayze better than don Johnson? Eddie Murphy? Just voice. Matt hated “Party all the Time,” but he still bought it. Jimmy knew it came out on CBS records. They bet on what year it came out. 1985. Matt wins again.
Jimmy complained about the time slot again.
Jimmy did a presentation yesterday, and is sick. Had to get a steroid shot. No sleep. You can’t sleep when you’re on your iPad playing Dots.
Matt is addicted to a solitaire game. Realize they are both sad guys. Jimmy tries to argue that Dots isn’t sad. They both agree that Threes isn’t sad. Jimmy still plays it on the plane when the wi-fi is down. Matt started solitaire when he quit Twitter.
What’s Joe Rogan’s deal? Is he a flat-earther? What happened with Alex Jones? Audience member tries to explain but does a poor job.
Jimmy can’t see people hanging out with MAGA hat people. Matt claims to have no friends and only hangs out with his family. He’s lonely. No one ever calls Jimmy either. He was at the same concert last week as Mike Siegel but never knew it.
Podcast is all of Matt’s social life. Jimmy goes along with it. Sadder than Cameron’s suicide joke.Matt started this loneliness conversation as a joke, then realized it was true. Jimmy likes going to things alone.
The concert Jimmy went to was Bob Seger. Jimmy sings “Still the Same.” Matt doesn’t know it. Didn’t recognize “Mainstreet” either until he realized it was “Tweet street.” They start going through the set list.
Jimmy wants to attack Tom Cruise. Matt thinks that fight would be a nice pairing. A great couple.
Bob Seger was very chatty. Explained that “Like A Rock” was about cross country running
Matt thinks the Oscar In Memoriam should dissolve into ash. How did we lose Verne Troyer? Did Lucas put him a trash can? Jimmy liked Verne when they worked together. He had begged to be on the podcast.
Matt sings “In Your Time” to the tune of “In Your Eyes.”
Whey wasn’t Bob’s Seger’s son at the concert? “Hayseed” audience member responds “He was somewhere else.” Everyone hates the hayseed. Bob’s son was at home watching the dogs.
Bob Seger wears a headband. Throws the sweaty headband into the crowd every few songs and then puts on a new one. Seger Hanson claps.
Matt & Jimmy talk about their hotel check in. The front desk person was very chatty, might still be talking. Keeps mentioning not allowing pets.
They go back to Matt’s Summer camp for adults idea.
If NNF ever gets big enough to have live shows in arenas the stage will have giant headphone chairs, not made of wood, made of polymer. Jimmy doesn’t know what polymer is.
Has anyone been adult camp? Camp Big D. Big dick. Matt can make those jokes because he’s not 50. Camp Wanna Sucky Fucky.
Sad that Patrick Swayze is dead.
One table left the show. Going to keep Jimmy up all night. Great seats too. Jimmy makes fun of the guy who left’s vest, then apologizes to audience member in the front who was also wearing a vest.
Timber is here on business from Indiana. Saw Chicago do a private show for his company. He tried to drop JImmy’s name, didn’t work. If he had talked to Panko he would’ve known.
Adult summer camp isn’t for nudists but at the end they all kill each other. It’s a cult not a camp. Jimmy wants to know if Matt would ever take part in an orgy. Matt can’t even imagine.
Cameron scored 19 on general music. Winner gets a poster. They try to hang the poster but an’t can’t get the poster to stay up.
Clint plays Sevens next. He is a sales tax auditor and all of his kids names start with J. Matt took JImmy’s mic. Jimmy exits the stage. Matt starts Sevens anyway. Clint scored 18. Jimmy takes the mic back.
Chris is next. Has a weird beard and no motorcycle. Jimmy would’ve bet a millions dollars he had a motorcycle. Scored 5.
Andrew is next. His girlfriend named KK gets Andrew booted.
No women want to play Sevens.
Zach is next. Spelling it with a CH gets him booted.
Amanda is next. Married to Nathaniel, sometimes Nate, never Nathan. Scored 9.
Gabe is next. Jimmy can’t imagine how many rabbits this guys has killed. Looks like he came down from a mountain. He sells shoes but has never fucked one (fucking shoes going to be a class at Matt’s camp.) Matt & Jimmy give clues together. Gabe scored 20. Gabe wins the poster!
Thanks everyone for coming!
How long can Jimmy hold up his legs sitting up in the stool? Jimmy gives up at a minute because the show has to end.