NeverNotNotes

22J – Riding Giants with Moshe Kasher

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Moshe Kasher

In studio notes by Garon-for-a-Day Julie Dixon Jackson
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

@moshekasher

Open- Hello everybody indeed. Hot.Hot. Hot. David Johannsen style- Buster Poindexter- he’s gunna die soon. Battle Axe. Barbara Bush was passively complicit- thoughts on George W.…..CIA- everybodies up to something. Julie’s here…..JCC…Ted Neely…Julie agrees with Jimmy mostly….Neither of us like them American Idol-ing in the middle of a song.

5. There’s a new camera- Jimmy finds it distracting. It’s a 360 camera that Eliots testing. Do we need a refresher course of who’s show this is? New cameras, haircuts. Jimmy likes his new one. Amos and Andy come into it. “Oh honey your headshape won’t like that.” Matt’s not happy with his haircut…. He wanted it to be level…too much effort involved. Maybe he should go short all around.

“Dice are rolling…..” from Evita. Of course. Matt’s showing of his bass and Jimmy sings Annas. (in my opinion that’s good casting)

10. Julie can fix his hair…we’re still talking about the hair. Why don’t they go to me? Hair, hair, hair…. Matt is afraid of being Brian Grazer. Jimmy sings some classic Fleetwood Mac. Elliot has a question- he needs to be very very careful….every body has to walk on egg-shells. Fuck us all. Does he like scissors all over? Jimmy likes the posture of his girl- he goes to John Casablancas- the modelling agent.

15. Matt once went back two days later- he hated having to do that. He uncomfortably avoids making eye-contact with his old hairdresser…she looked through him like a ghost…She’s not mad- she doesn’t remember him.
Jimmy’s singing “Look away baby look away….” Jimmy’s done going to places that have tool-boxes. Matt doesn’t want to pay 60 bucks- but I don’t charge 60 bucks for dude’s haircuts.
Matt will go to Julie- even with a Pomeranian in his lap. His name is Bijoux.

20. Julie has an English Cream Retriever…Eliot tries something. The salons in Jimmy’s neighborhood are like the one’s in Barbershop. You spend all day there. Matt thinks barbers always go too short. He was the Vanilla Ice of upper New-York….actually Massachusetts…
Robert Van Winkle is a nice name.…..Rob is too close to “Rip”….
Robby Pardo….
Do you want to go back to the camera? It’s gotta look good brother. Matt wants to know if the viewer gets to choose their view. Eliot’s exploring it. I am way too interested in this.

25. We’re done talking about this…Right now it’s getting all four of us? Julie’s in the stitch….Matt would like to be- on the count of the haircut.. This particular one may not work. Why arren’t eyeballs on more sides? Who’s the band from the 80’s? The Replacements? No.

The Residents

25. Eyeballs on heads…The Residents….One hit wonders….Hit the Road Jack…is their hit? Back to the pomegranate on Matt’s lap. Julie has a celebrity client.

30. Garon’s getting out a lot. …Jimmy thinks he needs to take a spine class- He needs to “peacock. based on the Facebook photographs.Goggles…Zombie WW2 movie….cool….
Westworld is the best show on TV. Jeffrey Wright’s very outspoken on Twitter.
The Residents hit seems to be “Hit the Road Jack”….

5. The Looming Tower. Saarsgard. The actress that Matt doesn’t like. He can’t remember why. What was the Song.? Julie fails . Right.
“Infant tango”- it’s so Eric. Elliot thinks it’s got a nice groove.
“Of course, come on man, they wore eyeball masks”…
They’re meeting in Bakersfield.

Whose hair does Julie cut.? The guest is here.
Matt Beatlenap?

40. What’s Jimmy’s bug name? Parsnips? Jimmy’s still bugging Eric….Saturday’s off….
It’s either going to be a 45 minute lunch or 5 hour….if you drive that far you can’t have a 45 minute lunch.
Eric was cooler than any of us…..not a weirdo at all. Jesus is Cool.
Moshe Casher has entered.. He and Natasha Leggero have a hot new special on Netflix.
Jimmy doesn’t watch comedy on television- Moshe mentions a laptop….
Back to Julie’s client….
Front man for a band…

45. It’s not Kraftwerk. Were they on MTV? Missing Persons? Are they in
Jimmy’s I-Tunes?
Moshe feels like he’s on “Doug Loves Movies”…
Moshe makes an unfortunate Terry Schiavo reference.
Matt plays a snippet…. It’s not Eurythmics…

50.SPARKS….cool band. Jimmy recalls a sweet memory of Danielle and Andrew seeing them just before he passed. Is it Sparks with a K or an X- Eliot can’t handle human emotion.
Talk about Garon’s life falling apart and Elliot pulls out a drill….. Oh Elliot..
Moshe was on Kevin and Bean yesterday….
“The Honeymoon Stand up Special” is on Netflix….
BREAK

WE’RE BACK. Where was the special filmed. Austin Tx. Also, Jen Kirkman did hers there.
Aunt Gussie… Moshes book- “Kasher in the Rye…”

55. There’s a similar titled book…..who knew? Let’s do Doc Talk….Moshes does a cool voiceover… We don’t make that noise that Julie made…Bwa Bwa//
Moshe has a new baby..named Frida
Sleep bad…
Once you have the baby none of it’s bad….it’s a beautiful form of hackiness…
Frida’s in the car- it’s overcast- it rained this morning.. Moshe lives in Silverlake
Don’t try and understand the shirt…

60. Genealogy talk with Julie……
Back to Hair talk. Moshe’s hat. Standing ovation for matt. Just Go With It.
Adam’s back…..

65. Is he doing songs? Yes. Moshe loves it. Julie’s had her boobs touched by J Aniston and Adam Sandler.
Five people, seven cameras- digusting….That’s a literal blast from the past..
Elliot what else is happening. Earthquake retrofitting…concrete next week…Moshes from Oakland- there’s a new fault running under Oakland….awesome…

70. Moshe’s entire family is moving to LA. They are a Jewish clan. Brother’s first name is???.. Elliot guesses “Chaim”- it’s not a name apparently. Moshe thinks Dr Phil is amazing….What a crock the show is…
Jimmy felt like he got shot in the head from Eliot’s joke..
David has assault rifles and he surfs…..not really with the rifles…He’s a cool Rabbi
Zoe ripped off Jimmy with “actor auditioning for a blind guy”….
Bob Muellers all over this thing. They pulled him out of retirement.

75..NY Times- here’s how Donald Trump is connected to Michael Cohen…
Elliot has a few but he’s going to go with Jane Fonda.
Lil Rel is funny. His name is not Darryl. He’s in “Get out”
Matt needs to see the movie with Kyrie Irving in old man makeup…
Is it like Bad Grandpa? Shaq has a Foo ma choo. Matts seen Black Panther twice. He’s very sensitive to the black people.

80. Someone paid to have someone ask Trump about the situation in Wakanda.
Jimmy says we don’t have to jump on everything…
Moshe talks about it just being a football game.
Jimmy likes wings. He prefers boneless. Moshe’s doing a new doc. Called red wing/blue wing…
Matt’s .J actress- Julia Louis Dreyfuss.
Brian Husky’s on Veep?
Matts family doesn’t notice his haircut. Jimmy gets a haircut every two weeks.

85. Jimmy goes to Sam- he’s fantastic. Sports Clips is not a cut above…says Matt.
Everybody’s hair is a part of them. Moshe has to have good hair.
He goes actress old school- Julie Andrews. ( I almost said that)
She showed her bare bosoms in Blake Edwards “SOB”.
Moshe and Natasha are currently watching all “best picture” movies.
The first good “best picture movie” was “It happened one night”..
Jimmy’s never seen “Gone with the wind”… It’s very out of touch.
All the slaves just wanna be slaves again. Julie condescends because she has seen it.
RomComs? Elliot had to reinstall Facebook.

90. The Residents update- Cal-ligah? Hank Williams cover. Is it a play on “Caligula”?
Elliot gets sassy because Moshe tried to get his password.
Jimmy uses his thumb print.
Jimmy writes the name down…Joyce DeWitt
Moshe says nose-jobs are down.

Moshe says Three’s Company would be an absurd premise nowadays.

95. What if they called it “Jacks Bistro”…..It’s not near the Regal Beagle.
Jimmy wrote down “Julie Dixon Jackson’ for humor.
It was Janet Leigh…not related to Vivian Leigh
Elvis Perkins is great according to Moshe. Album- Ash Wednesday
Jimmy plays the track. It’s good.
They do a lot of recommendations on their special…..rolls
100. They have a nanny.
“Ah Mama Coco”—KOKO was the gorilla that speaks sign language…so does Moshe Kasher…
Frida Khalo is also in the movie “Coco”
“Turns out there was a Spanish painter named Frida”.
The special’s on Netflix….They did it all in one night.
They bring couples up.

105. One word. ‘Patience’- vomit- Eliot saw it last night- he loved it.
He e-mailed the guys at 4 am. What’s Jimmys bedtime? He had a migraine last night. Moshe has had less than 15 headaches in his life.
Mannix. Very relaxing. Sleepy time Blue Planet 2. Jimmy loves the sea.
You have to buy it?
Matt mixes up Planet Earth with Blue Planet. Moshe surfs with his Rabbi brother.. Most people don’t have surfboards. “ Wavestorm” makes a great beginner surf-board. Moshe is a bad surfer based upon his name.

110. Matt’s heard about Wavestorm. It’s full sized. The ocean is beautiful. They might retire in Ventura. “Well, at least I’m funny”. Lil Rel Howery- funny.
Fan response has been great to the special. Moshe was on “Right Now”- he talks about a painful memory…… Jared Grody?

Check out the special. Thanks Julie (I sound too perky) I want to cut Matt’s hair sooner than later cause it’s driving me kind of crazy.

BUH BYE- AK47:gone, not forgotten

Editor’s note: Julie sent me these notes under the file name Notes for Lil Rel Asher. Excellent callback that no one but me would ever see. Until now. Thanks Julie!
-Darryl