2023 – Battling Back with Tom Arnold
https://soundcloud.com/nevernotfunny/episode-2023-tom-arnold
In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher
Tom Arnold
@TomArnold
Website
00 – Hello! We’re dick heads!
Jimmy went to Hawaii!
Jimmy talks about his vacation. He could snorkel every day.
He saw sea turtles, Sea urchins (not performing Oliver), sea horses.
Matt’s got a new bottle. He’s saving the planet.
Bring Jimmy a bottle of water not a glass of water!
Talking Matt’s audition and Comedy Bang Bang.
Talking recycling.
Jimmy wonders what happened with Glass bottle recycling.
05 – “The middle spot!”
Bill Joel talk.
10 – My Kin wears twine!
Belts and Twine! They broke Blake Shelton?!
They’re doing fine!
Back to the Hawaii trip!
Jimmy visited Pearl Harbor and talks about the use of his Kiss Army joke.
“Any active military?” – Tour guide. “Well I was in the Kiss Army for a little while.” – Jimmy
15 – He talks about the tour in a submarine.
The family also walked up Diamondhead, the inactive volcano. Just a lot of R&R and eating like assholes (only Jimmy ate that way).
Apparently, Oliver is completely uninterested in food.
Chuck and Ollie?!
Our guest’s publicist is here.
Gong Show Talk.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Release_the_Hounds
25 – Talking Glow.
This one goes to 11, mentioned constantly around the world.
Elvis talk. How often to you think of Elvis?
Our guest is here!!
Tom Arnold is here!
30 – Battle of the Network Stars talk.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Network_Stars
Jimmy and Tom talk about the stars. Apparently, Tom was late. There was a pink eye situation.
(it’s 23 miles from Beverly Hills to Pepperdine)
Tracy Gold was afraid of Tom?!
Jimmy enjoys the show. He finds it fun. The family watches together.
Rhonda Rousey is tough but really nice.
Tom did the dunk tank, golf (which was for humiliation of Tom apparently), Tug of War, etc.
Tom talks about Tug of War and winning a championship in Iowa. He talks about Tug of War on the show and Kim Fields having a low center of gravity.
35 – Should Tug of War be an Olympic sport? The guys talk about it.
The giant penis stereotype is true according to Tom.
I look like Clark Duke?!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0241173/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Hi Sonja! We can’t look at her.
Talking Tootie!
Jimmy wonders if there was anyone Tom didn’t get along with. Doesn’t seem like it.
We’ll be back!
40 – We’re back!
Sonja is very pretty according to the room.
Tom wants a little makeup?
Talking about Tom’s podcast. Sharon Stone was on and she cried.
Tyler Henry Hollywood Medium was on Tom’s podcast. His wife was a huge fan of his and wanted a reading.
Tom talks about being on the show.
Tyler said they’d be having another kid and a girl and Tom and his wife thought it was BS. 9 months later they have a baby girl.
45 – Tom talks more about having Tyler Henry on the show.
Tom’s wife would like Jimmy. Tall people like Jimmy.
50 – Jimmy might never get around the horn.
Tom talks about his age and his family.
Hurt foot talk!
Hot dog talk.
Garon buys chili dogs by the sack.
Tom ate 17 hot dogs in a bet with Dax Shephard.
55 – Tom talks about making out with a 17 year old at kissing booth when he was 10.
Tom talks about shooting his brother and his car with paintballs* or something after he showed off his new car.
Tom talks about his brother that made honey and Tom made it so his bees attacked his face.
“It humbles him.” – Tom
Jimmy’s losing it with laughter.
*Frozen paintballs!
Health insurance talk.
60 – “If only we had some dirt!” – Jimmy
Tom talks about the tapes he supposedly has. He isn’t releasing it to protect the people and families involved with creating it. He says we’ll learn everything soon enough. Apparently, hypothetically, allegedly, “John McCain” has it.
It might not be about what was said but who he said it too?! What does this all mean?!!?
“I fought my own rabbi.” – Tom talking about his Charity Boxing events. He’s gonna fight Jesse James apparently?
1h5m – Turns out Jesse James wussed out of the fight. Tom has zero doubt that he would have kicked Jesse James’ ass.
Tom wants to make sure it’s known that his rabbi is a bad ass who went to prison.
He talks more about the fight.
1h10m – Tom talks about his sister being the biggest meth dealer in America. She was on a documentary and everything.
1h15m – Tom talks about Trump not knowing about army bases. He talks about going to the bases and fighting some wrestler and pinning her after she bloodied him.
Jimmy has never said less and laughed more.
We’ll be right back!
We’re back!
2023. Jimmy’s enjoying a refreshing iced tea.
Talking swimming. Tom wears a shirt in the pool so he doesn’t have to talk about his lack of a belly button (surgery related) and his scars. He went to a pool party with his kids.
He does use his scars to talk with kids who have scars from heart surgery at his camp.
1h20m – Chris Christie had his stomach stapled? Tom says he should sue over it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ottumwa,_Iowa
Tom talks about his home town and the stuff he does for the town.
Eliot is here! He thinks palm trees are stupid for not giving shade. Matt’s mad at the palm tree also. Tom thinks the palm trees belong around the Beverly Hills hotel where he lives.
Tom talks about Marvin Davis parties.
Tom tells his best Frank Sinatra story. He’s been to Frank’s house 4 or 5 times. Tom talks about meeting Bob Hope also.
1h25m – Bob Hope used to greet people getting off planes at the airport? Loose Meat Sandwich shop was real?? He donated it.
Do whatever Warren Buffett does.
Tom’s wife has pointed out several times that he is worth more dead than alive.
Tom would fight a real boxer like Floyd Maryweather for 5 mil.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rope-a-dope
Doc Talk!
When We Were Kings
1h30m – Tom said his brother looked like Nosferatu after they shaved his head. Apparently they shaved his head with sheep shears and bloodied his head.
This brother is dating a 19-year-old skater girl, and is now skateboarding.
1h35m – We’re done!
Tom Arnold, Sharon Stone, Jimmy Fallon – The Year of Getting To Know Us
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Year_of_Getting_to_Know_Us
Tom has a show coming based on his life.
Thanks Sonja! Thanks Tom!
See you next time!
My pleasure,
Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth