424 – It’s Nice to Have Him Up Here: Paul Gilmartin
Find the show at NeverNotFunny.com
Notes by Special Guest Note Taker Darryl-for-a-Day Michael Webb
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher
Released: March 18, 2009
1:00 Jimmy laughs through his intro, walks you through what’s happening: Pat is not here, busy buying a new house “in this economy.” “Probably packing something, probably caulking something.”
No weather, no health
1:25 Pilar told Matt “he’s on enough, don’t you think?”
1:40 Jimmy alleges there was a poll of the top five guests, and while Pat was number one, Paul was in the top five
1:45 “And by saying that, you know you’re number five.”
2:00 Paul brings up his Cable Ace Award nomination
2:10 “Both dinner…AND a movie?”
2:30 Pat is probably fantasizing where his dolls are going to go
2:50 The line between action figure and doll
3:10 “Boys play with action figures, girls play with dolls.”
3:20 Matt tries to make a point about sizes, which immediately, and unsurprisingly, becomes a dick joke.
3:25: “You’re telling me I’ve got a doll in my pants?”
3:55: Jimmy uses the two inch cock measurement system
4:30: Andrew is brought in to the action figure talk
4:55: “Either way, it feels good on your balls.”
5:10: Paul tells a story about being shown Walter’s action figures
6:25: Paul confesses he would have been more excited had he been shown Ron Palillo’s Horshack figures
7:00: Paul likes watching other people get excited about things
7:10: Maple is an unforgiving wood
7:30: Curly Maple is the worst of the Three Stooges
7:50: Sing Along with Jimmy (sort of) Rush: The Trees
8:40: Ebony and Ivory is mentioned as Wood Talk continues
9:00: Flashback to hack comic (probably) doing a song parody about NFL running back Eddie Lee Ivory
9:25: One of the benefits of being friends with Jimmy is remembering horrible comedy bits
10:00: Story about Paul saying “it’s so great to have you guys up here at the festival” at the San Francisco Comedy Festival he has nothing to do with
12:30: Story about poker where Paul says “I was at that concert” and Pat replies “we went together!”
12:50: Sound issues that we can’t hear
13:00: Sing along with Jimmy: Power Station, “Some Like It Hot”
13:20: Discussing the lineup of Power Station
14:00: Bad back talk
14:40: “The Heat is On” is just a shitty song
15:15: 80s Music is underrated
15:30: “Amanda” by Boston is a horrible good song
15:45: Sing along with Jimmy: Boston, “Amanda”
16:10: Tom Scholz of Boston recorded the whole first album in his basement
16:45: Boston was a boring concert
17:00: Nickelback gets a bad rap, and rightfully so.
17:30 Jimmy doesn’t understand the anger at Nickelback.
17:50 The anger isn’t at the band, it’s at the idiots that like them
18:10: Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer, and a jackass, and a drug abuser
18:20: Andrew is warned not to get on the microphone
18:50: Discussion about Tom Leykis
19:30: Terminator talk
20:20: We’re not protecting Dan Conner on “Roseanne.” Let him die.
20:45: “The Cookout” is the worst movie of all time
21:00: Tyler Perry movies have no subtext
21:50: Paul admits he sometimes fast forwards through the movies on “Dinner and a Movie”
22:15: Paul talks “Dinner and A Movie” backstage antics
23:30: Jimmy learns he doesn’t have to watch “Dinner and a Movie” just to get the recipe
24:00: “Why won’t they fire you?”
25:00: Jimmy compliments Paul’s fitness
25:30: Paul takes steroids to make his hemorrhoids really big
25:55: The person who always has to top whatever story you have
26:30: Monkey Go Lucky reference about the Andy Richter “You Bet Your Life” episode
26:55: Reference to Paul’s adventures in buying domain names
27:40: “That’s what we do on this program: we have a good time”
28:30: Paul got free pots and pans
29:15: House size talk
30:20: That person who says they will sleep on the couch
30:30: Jimmy went to see “Rent” and Tom Jones
30:50: Jimmy’s Love/Hate relationship with “Rent”
32:00: Paul brings up “Grease” as a combination of everything he hates in the universe
33:20: “Lords of Flatbush” talk
34:00: Sha Na Na stinks
34:10: Would You Rather: Sha Na Na, or Tony Orlando and Dawn?
34:20: Andrew chimes in on the debate
34:40: Jimmy votes Tony O
34:55: Grease: hate the musical, love the movie
35:30: Jimmy’s not a fan of the R Word voice
35:55: Andrew makes fun of Jimmy for hating the word “fart”
36:15: Jimmy reminds us whose show it is
36:30: “Rent” story resumes
37:10: Paul says you do not go to County Seat to vote.
38:10: Jimmy tries to interact with strangers and gets shivved.
39:00: The women might have thought Jimmy was hitting on them
39:30: Andrew does a spit take
40:10: Discussion of Mel Gibson’s “What Women Want”
40:30: The deep pride of the spit take
41:15: “Either way, the balls are involved.”
41:20: Paul Gilmartin is here, we are lucky to have him
41:25: “Grease” talk resumes
42:10: “Chicago” isn’t great when you’re 12
42:40: Sing Along With Jimmy, “You’re The One That I Want” from “Grease”
43:00: Paul’s mother wanted daughters
43:40: “The Heat Is On”/“Beverly Hills Cop” talk.
44:40: “Beverly Hills Cop 4?”
45:10: “Blues Brothers 2000” talk
46:15: Why won’t they fire Paul? “They keep cutting my money and hoping I’ll leave.”
47:00: Why didn’t Jim Belushi do “Blues Brothers 2000?”
47:40: Let’s go back to Andrew not talking
48:10: The fourth Murray brother
48:45: “Mad Men” talk
49:15: Why didn’t Jimmy get the comedian role on “Mad Men?”
51:00: Do comedians want to be liked?
52:30: “Breaking Bad” and more “Mad Men” talk
54:30: Reference to the Christian Bale rant
55:00: Break
55:30: It would be weird if we came back without Jimmy
55:50: Opening the window and letting the fresh breeze in
56:30: Sing Along With Jimmy, Aldo Nova, “Fantasy”
57:00: Sing Along With Jimmy, Daryl Hall, “Dream Time”
57:30: Nirvana and Beck are overrated
58:30: Dimitri Martin’s new show
59:10: Jimmy resets
60:00: There’s only so many hours in the day, I can’t watch everything
1:00:30: I don’t need to know what people think
1:01:15: Paul’s letters about his poofy hair
1:02:50: Paul tells a story about seeing at the airport the t shirt that says “I’m not a gynecologist…”
1:04:10: Written in the dust on a car, “I wish my wife was this dirty.”
1:04:40: Jimmy’s road is being resurfaced
1:05:20: Paul loves making Jimmy squirm
1:05:45: “24” and “Lost” talk
1:07:10: Sam Anderson, who played the principal on “Growing Pains”, is on “Lost.”
1:07:45: “Big Love” talk/ Bill Paxton talk
1:09:00: Shitting on things that other people love is wrong…or is it?
1:09:50: “Benjamin Button” talk
1:10:40: Should comic book characters compete against real people for awards?
1:11:30: Paul didn’t get “Doubt” as a screener, instead they sent “Mrs. Doubtfire”
1:12:00: Queen Latifah’s “The Holiday” talk
1:13:30: More bad movie talk
1:14:00: Jim Belushi’s obsession with the Cubs
1:14:45: Is Belushi a listener?
1:15:00: How did Jon Hamm find Never Not Funny?
1:15:30: Andrew makes a sharp Schroeder/Peanuts joke
1:16:30: Matt takes movies seriously
1:17:30: QOTW
1:17:50: (Andrew makes a nice QBert joke)
1:19:30: Jeremy Siebert-Post apocalypse, you and Jon Hamm or you and Tonya Harding?
1:21:20: Jimmy goes Harding
1:21:30: “Bang puss or tag her in the can?”
1:22:00: “What are you asking?”
1:23:30: Andrew goes Hamm
1:24:00: The Japanese are leading the charge on sexbots
1:26:00: “How would we have answered this question if Jon Hamm was here?” “Awkwardly.”
1:27:00: Keith Collins- When you hand someone money, do you go coins first or bills first ?
1:29:30: Coins on top of bills is sloppy.
1:30:10: Jimmy loves the Coinstar
1:30:40: Sing along with Jimmy: Poison, “Fallen Angel”
1:31:00: Jimmy starts the wrap up
1:31:10: It’s the 150th episode!
1:31:30: Jimmy thanks the listener
1:32:00: The podcast keeps Jimmy off the road and home taking care of Oliver and Oliver off of drugs
1:33:00: Season 5 promotion
1:34:20: Bonus footage?
1:35:00: What did Jimmy say off camera?
1:36:40: A Pat only spin off?
1:37:30: Could there have been a Boner spin off?
1:38:20: Monkey Go Lucky Facebook group
1:38:50: We’ll have Paul back in Season 5
1:39:10: On the podcast…