NeverNotNotes

16E – Chewing the Fat with Kulap Vilaysack

Kulap Vilaysac

Kulap Vilaysack

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In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

@Kulap
kulapvilaysack.com

00 – Hello everyone! 16E! Jimmy’s in the car. The phone/chair is holding itself just as well as Jimmy does.

Facetime would be dangerous. Jimmy is late because he’s being held captive by his gardener. He isn’t sure why they didn’t come on Tuesday. Jimmy explains the gardener situation.

Good time Charlie! Jimmy will be in here momentarily.

He comments on the recent Frat situation.

He made it!

Obama is in town. Matt was worried Eliot and Jimmy would be effected by it. They weren’t.

05 – Back on the Frat guys. 

Jimmy sings that school song don’t know much about history.

Eliot parodies it with “don’t know much about bigotry…” Jimmy approves but Eliot ruins it with a knowing nod.

10 – Jimmy saw McFarland, USA. Says it’s fantastic. He “loved the hell out of it.” Had he not been with his mom he thinks he would have sobbed.

Jjmmy talks about the flute in 6th grade.

Jimmy and Matt talk about gender politics in schools nowadays.

Jimmy on the so-called “fans” and their rude comments: “Line em up and run those band saws”

Jimmy likes when Matt is mad at the fans.

15 – Matt gives us more nutritional advice.

Dr. Vinnie Boombotz suggests you drink water in a beer format.

We are a comedy show for the most part!

More talk on comments.

Jimmy is on Matt’s side! Dicklick!

Take your hits and your licks Matt just like Jimmy did when he quoted that song wrong.

Blinded By the Light!

Jimmy: "Every motherfucker including Darryl Asher corrected me!"

Jimmy: “Every motherfucker including Darryl Asher corrected me!”

Jimmy bought a lot of vinyl this past week. He lists all of the titles (for tax purposes).

20 – Kulap is here!!!! Jimmy does some kind of Italian accent.

We’ll take a break for Matt to get some water.

Jimmy ran a nice five miles today. If Kulap claps again she’s next for the bandsaw.

Four handed hand-job from Patrick Swayze.

Elise uncomfortable with the apple-fucking topic and Matt’s fascination with it.

25 – Top four things Jimmy has said was the crabapple comment from the apple chats.

Break!

We’re back!

Jimmy Mad Dog Russo is here! Jimmy is 100% unhappy with his team!

He’s having a bad draft and is projected to be 15 out of 15. They’re about halfway through the draft. He’s projected to be behind the guy who is only choosing St. Louis Cardinals.

16 – Ecstasy!

Jimmy says the ladies are running this town. Like Teen Fey. Ame Poehler.

He’s having trouble watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Netflix issues every time.

Server chat!

30 – Jimmy doesn’t want any political rants from Kulap.

I’m here! Kulap chose Chef for me to watch today.

Spendthrift 

a person who spends money in an extravagant, irresponsible way.

35 – Chef talk! Jimmy calls Robert Downey Jr precocious.

Jimmy podcasts with his whole body according to Kulap. Matt says it’s more like “Bodcasting.”

Jimmy talks about the phone Jimmy versus real jimmy.

Jimmy’s talks about his Velcro ring.

Is the Wedding Ringer a remake of Hitch?

Jimmy talks about how “funny” Get Hard looks.

40 – Jimmy is talking about Let’s Go To Prison

Jimmy starts to think that the internet is right and Matt is a “goddamned anchor.”

More than Words was #1. 

Big Bet happening.

We’re gonna take a break and see who wins this bet!

50 – BTW More Than Words was #1 for One Week before being dethroned by Paul Abdul’s Rush Rush.

Jimmy can’t say Huang.

freshofftheboatFresh Off The Boat chat. Kulap auditioned for the mom role that went to Constance Wu. She is 26.

Eliot chimes in that he did Improv with the neighbor on the show. No one is interested.

The Gambling Game!

55 – Eliot is here and fine! His E was Eliot. No openings over at the Familliare. There is a single opening up soon. He gives us the low down on his building.

Matt’s E word is Elbow.

Jimmy’s bringing it Ten-fold after being sick on Monday.

Hello Kulap from Who Charted and Too Charted! Her E word was Evangelical.

EMF is Epsom Mad Funkers. 

60 – One month away from the LA Kiss home opener. Jimmy laps up his tea.

Jimmy ready to go back to that 7/11. Matt is obsessed with the dirty tarp.

Matt wants to send Kulap over to get that tarp. Jimmy wants to send a lady over there.

Filthy tarp!!

true-false

Jimmy true/falsed watching the sisterhood of the traveling pants. She guesses true and jimmy confirms true! He is furious he ruined his own bit.

65 – Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 

Ken Kwapis 

We finally find an Asian associated with Traveling Pants.

Kulap asks if Jimmy has to go perform at the toilet.

We’re gonna take a break.

70 – Kulap talks about exclusive chopstick usage.

Break!

We’re back!

Jimmy eating some Girl Scout cookies.

Jimmy talks about Kulap not being right for that Fresh of the Boat part.

Know your client is Jimmy’s advice to agents.

Jimmy so upset about his broken cookie.

We get reminded who’s show this is before we find out whether jimmy or everyone else is correct about what he said.

He indeed said Him.

75 – Jimmy goes for another cookie. Kulap hopes it doesn’t break!

Jimmy hasn’t had milk in like 30 years. Matt says you gotta have 64 ounces a day!

Misophonia – hatred of sound (like chewing) 

Who would you fuck? Eric Andre apparently is #1. Jennifer Lawrence or Sharon Lawrence #2.

Jimmy watched an ASMR video recently. He watched the suit video.

ASMR-talk

80 – More ASMR talk. Kulap just heard the term a couple of days ago.

Nashville chat.

Jimmy talks about being mesmerized by Maya Rudolph.

Kulap sings us some Debbie Gibson.

Jimmy publically apologizes for the Asian jokes.

85 – More betting! This time on Sharon Lawrences age. She is 53!!

Dennis Franz is 70 

90 – Kulap is going to see if she gets some ASMR going. She doesn’t but she does get mesmerized by it.

They talk more about it.

ASMR-talk

95 – Jimmy considering flying that ASMR Maria out here.

Jimmy defends Ted Nugent. For Humor. He just wishes he wasn’t such a good guitarist.

Jimmy will murder Kulap if she says preach again. But he wont.

Jimmy makes some muscles! Describes them as a hard sponge.

Jimmy got ASMR from a guy selling a grill. He then bought the grill.

Jimmy talks about the divorce from his ex Jennifer.

Separate Lives 

Stephen Bishop 

Jimmy sighed up for Rolling Stone at bumbershoot!

105 – Here is the Rolling Stone article Matt is talking about 

110 – Jimmy needs to ask Kulap something to settle something with Todd Glass.

He talked to Todd on the phone while he was using an elliptical. Jimmy can now confirm he can’t stand that.

Sucking cock for the flavor.

We’re done!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth