708 – Janet Varney

Released 7/7/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

Intro: 708 area code is the Chicago area code that incubated Jimmy’s comedy

1:30 Nothing at all rhymes with July!

1:40 Here’s why Jimmy doesn’t include knock-knock jokes in his act

2:05 Janet has an opinion about what is happening out of side

2:45 The Book of Eli, and Jimmy’s responsibilities

3:30 Baseball talk is refreshing and quaint

4:00 World Cup vs. baseball

4:30 Dan Katz is an attractive man

5:00 Janet had a very special specialist

6:50 Single Ladies (Beyonce)

7:45 Matt does the Zoe dance

9:00 Eliot is dressed to work in a club

10:00 Janet has an overwhelming ability to “yes-and” and have fun

10:30 Entourage on a flyer’s laptop

11:00 Janet has a job that might require nudity

12:00 Reprise of Single Ladies, yet not worthy of an icon

12:45 Matt has issues with the Entourage billboard

13:50 Results of Amanda’s Jimmy Pardo quiz on Facebook (yes, it’s still available)

15:30 Bryan Adams and The Summer of 69

16:10 The Guy Choice awards on Spike and the associated swearing

18:00 Should Jimmy disqualify a contestant just because his name sounds like he is scientist?

18:50 Deconstructing Summer of ’69

19:50 Another skirmish in the great Belknap / Hochberg war

20:30 Getting into the details of the Jimmy Pardo quiz

22:20 Jimmy would have failed the quiz his own self

23:45 Judy Matthews is the grand prize winner, with a perfect score on the first try.

25:30 Alton, Illinois with Bob Zaney in a banquet room

26:15 Thanks to Amy for the Bad Ronald DVD

27:15 Jimmy is pretty accessible, and likes to be in the loop

27:55 “BRITISH!”

28:15 Behind the scenes with The Geico Gecko

29:15 Jimmy’s Monster addiction may not be an addiciton

30:00 Solving the mystery of Jimmy’s piss-whiff home bathroom

34:45 Cajun Jimmy, and critiquing the Cajun Jimmy graphic

37:30 Segue of the day: “Speaking of Cajuns”

38:20 Dammit! So close to being able to use an Obvious Trivia icon!

39:00 Who has the second best gumbo?

40:00 How the Monte Cristo sandwich was invented, and incredibly detailed information about said sandwich

44:30 The secret of Thousand Island dressing

46:00 Matt said the two most disgusting things ever on this episode

46:30 Let’s compare Dan Katz to his siblings

47:15 Guess your weight!

48:00 Working at the carnival

50:15 Janet’s amazing ability to guess initials

51:00 Matt is passing out from hunger

52:00 More initial guessing game

53:30 BREAK TIME!

54:15 Matt has his blood sugar back up, and is ready to go!

54:45 Janet gives a shoutout to her friend Mia Kulpa

55:00 From dining room to Johnny King Kong

55:15 I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight (Cutting Crew)

57:30 Deconstructing the obvious lyrics of Summer of ’69

58:30 Jimmy has invisible hand-puppets

1:00:30 Matt’s third gross reference

1:00:45 Matt’s fourth gross reference

1:01:15 Danny Kaye vs. Danny Thomas

1:01:30 Danny Thomas and his special egg recipe

1:02:45 Okra, Oprah. No Uma.

1:04:30 Janet suddenly thinks she’s on Donahue

1:05:00 Jimmy’s lesbian slang faux-pas

1:06:20 Matt has a theory about genetic homosexuality, but not even he knows what it is

1:06:45 Matt is not afraid to get real about gay genetics. Or something.

1:08:00 Actors from The Band

1:08:30 All things Carny

1:09:20 Janet is the walking encyclopedia of carny movies

1:10:15 Janet might run the corn cobbing machine at the carnival

1:11:30 Robbie Robertson is multi-talented

1:12:30 Jimmy loves Justified, after 2 episodes

1:13:45 Deadwood is Oscar-worthy, despite not being a movie show film presentation

1:14:00 Elise loves True Blood

1:15:00 Werewolves have nicknames

1:18:00 Jimmy had pre-conceived ideas about the potential success of Kristen Stewart

1:18:30 Don’t mock Miami Vice before you watch it

1:20:30 Another killer Matt segue to a 2 year old tee-shirt hemming story

1:21:50 Run to the Hills (Iron Maiden)

1:22:30 Jimmy tops Matt’s sucky segues

1:23:19 Oliverism of the Day

1:23:50 Zoeism of the Day

1:24:45 Kids say the darnedest things, some of which may result in an arrest

1:26:00 Jimmy is laying the groundwork for Oliver’s name-calling career

1:26:45 Jimmy’s solution for too much baby-talk

1:27:00 Jimmy makes up an Oliver story

1:27:20 Matt’s bits prove they need castanets

1:28:30 Jimmy LOVES singing along with Grease with a theater full of people

1:29:50 Jimmy is excited to see Joan Rivers live for only $35

1:30:45 Sarah Silverman book winner: Sammy Shaw in Pakinstan, who faces Jimmy’s inappropriate wrath

1:33:20 Jimmy forgets the rules of the contest

1:33:45 Jimmy “Don’t call me Pardo” Pardo requests that you call him Jimmy, not Pardo

1:35:00 Jimmy doesn’t need to know when people talk shit about him, even if you defended him

1:35:30 Mahna Mahna (The Muppets)

1:35:45 Janet proves she is the Queen of the Unexpected Callback

1:36:30 Janet’s love of Gold Medal Ribbon ice cream

1:37:30 Matt will not give Zoe credit for his own genius

1:38:00 Jimmy’s curiosity about “QVC for sex toys”

1:39:30 [DESCRIPTION OF DEVICE EDITED FOR THE SENSITIVE READER. BUT YOU CAN SUBSCRIBE HERE.]

1:40:30 Janet is a choy

1:41:30 Dan finds a picture of the aforementioned device in action

Ooonnn the podcast

AK-47 gone, not forgotten