2821 – Picking up the phone with Janet Varney

Janet Varney

Find the show at NeverNotFunny.com
In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher


00 2021! Welcome in! That is the YEAR we are in 2821.

It’s a holiday! No traffic today.

Something up with Matt’s windshield! It’s got windshield marks already even though he got it washed today.

Jimmy almost parked behind Matt but there were a few cones.

Three cones or Cohens?

Enjoy your Java fellas!

Jimmy talks about 7/11.

Power bar talk.

7/11 line talk. They were scanning every pack of cigarettes to find one under $5. None of them are under $8.

Jimmy would have probably helped the guy out if he was closer to the guy in line.

10 – Jimmy and Danielle and Oliver went to the Hollywood Bowl for Kool and the Gang and fireworks.

A woman behind them was so drunk she was flopping all over the place, and hit Danielle in the head more than once. If the bench wasn’t there (the bench the jimmy et al were on), she would have fallen over completely.

Jimmy loved Kool and the Gang! One of the best shows he’s ever seen.

He does talk about the attractive couple in front of them though!

15 – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kool_%26_the_Gang


Full of positive vibes in the bowl!

Fireworks chat.

20 – Matt talks about his day and how it wore him out. Zero to 60 on socializing for Matt this weekend.

Matt and Jimmy and fams went to dinner together at Bob’s Big Boy.

Janet Varney is here. She’s got a rapidly browning banana.

Talking plexiglass.

25 – Janets coming in hot like Sully on the Hudson.


Janet doesn’t remember the globe.

Pround Puppies!

Talking Making It.

30 – Talking back in the studio hugs.

Banana phone goes off. It’s Gary Lucy?!

Cicada talk!


35 – Matt reminds Jimmy about some old guy at the drive-in while Jimmy is texting Oliver for the trivia question.

Mic arms and raising desk talk.

“Knock it off you idiots!” – Old man walking in front of Danielle and Oliver.

Cocaine Varney!

40 – Opening mail!

Is this from ourselves?

Wage Page for Trivia!

Sell these pads Todd Glass style!

45 – This new box might be perishable?

Eliot’s worried about the sheath status of Jimmy’s box cutter. Matt points out he should be worried about the song he should be playing when Jimmy put his glasses on.

Really funny letter about the popcorn Kyle Rearden sent us!

50 – Congressman Jimmy Pardo?

We’re trying to decide on popcorn!

Jimmy’s pouring!

It’s a little stale but still delicious!

Eliot has not approached the bench!

55 – Great letter Kyle!

Matt saw a guy eating a soft serve ice cream at 930 in the morning at the car wash.

Hand-dipped vs Soft Serve

60 – Jimmy enjoyed a twist ice cream but it veered a little heavy on the chocolate.

Tough ice cream week for Jimmy.

Jimmy talks about Janet’s appearance on Dark Air and how funny she was.

Jimmy has 3 different voices on Dark Air, 3 of which sound just like Jimmy.

We’ll be right back!

1h5m – We’re back!

What a joy to see JV!

No Jan No Pardo!

Only one person at Conan didn’t get hate when calling Jimmy “Pardo”

Trivia is coming! The question has been delivered.

Bill and Ted is on some streaming service now.

Janet learns the game!

1h10m – The banana is up for grabs!

Category: Beverages
Question:. According to a recent study by the innovation Center of America 7% of people believe this about Chocolate Milk.

Round the horn!

No RTH song?

1h15m – Accents and languages.

Janet talks about where she does her French Canadian accents.

Jimmy not sure why he put on the balabans!

1h20m – Nice!

My answer is Brown Cows!

I Streamed over the weekend – Twitch.tv/MyNameIsGaron

We talk about Eliot’s stream and where he drew Jimmy!


Talking more about Eliot’s drawing.

1h25m – Eliot has Breaking News

Eliot talks about his parking situation and how someone took his spot.

He parks for future shade.

Matt sings Happy!

The parking was NOT the story.

He saw a man and a woman talking and saying hello to other. When they parted, Eliot noticed the woman watching the man leave and appreciating his ass.

1h30m – Rugby pantsing!

So this happened in the England vs USA rugby match today from funny

Eliot’s answer is Brown/Chocolate Cows
Matt, Janet, and Jimmy also have similar answers.

Eliot talks about Fight Back with David Hororwitz.

1h35m – Eliot cam?!

What if we’re all wrong?!

Brown Cows! We’re all right! It’s down to the bets!

Olsen twins countdown talk. GROSS.

Janet recounts the time she was into someone older than her when she 17. When she turned 18 it was on!

1h40m – Janet wins with the bet!

Other Bostons: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_(disambiguation)

1h45m – Jimmy tells Janet about Kool and the Gang.

Janet talks about seeing B52s.

Janet gives us a theme song for the winner of trivia. It took a left turn.

Janet has NOT done any shows at Hollywood Bowl.

Matt tries to explain Janets joke, coincidently, Janet was looking for an explainer!

More chocolate shake/ice cream talk.

Jimmy’s favorite Spice is Posh.

Lots of Spice Girls talk.

Jimmy recounts the David Beckham Subway reactions. He was always night, they never said the same with his wife.

1h50m – Janet says Berlin and Human League were also at the B-52s show. Human League closed to Janet’s immense displeasure.

1h55m – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berlin_(band)

We take a quick break!
Back for a round of sevens!

Bill Berry had a brain Aneurism and retired from REM. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Berry#On-stage_collapse_and_leaving_R.E.M.

2h – Brief Oliver talk about his broken arm.

Jimmy gives to Janet Varney: 17 (Movies)

We’re done!

Jimmy be sincere!

Janet talks about how excited she was to come back to the show!

Janet’s in the top ten!

See you next time! Jimmy forgot his outro for Matt.

Trivia Results:
Category: Beverages
Question:. According to a recent study by the innovation Center of the US 7% of American Adults believe this about Chocolate Milk.

Garon: Brown Cows (14 pts)
Eliot: Brown/Chocolate Cows (18 pts)
Matt: Brown/Chocolate Cows (23 pts)
Janet: It comes out of the cow that way (we accepted it) (13 pts)
Jimmy: Comes out of a brown cow (20 pts)

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth