2901 – Following the rules with Paul F. Tompkins

Paul F. Tompkins

Find the show at NeverNotFunny.com
In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

00 Hello! New Season! Means Nothing!

Jimmy and Matt try to figure out how many episodes we’ve done.

Turns out to be about 1220!

Big day for Matt and Jimmy! The kids are back in school!

Zoe is in 8th, Charlie 4th, Oliver started High School today!

Kadeem Hardison talk – https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0362429/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Jaleel White still looks like Urkle. He has a podcast though (or did) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ever-after-with-jaleel-white/id1532987390

5 – Jimmy talks about dropping Oliver off at school.

Zoe has some kind of satchel for school.

Matt and Jimmy talk about back packs and book bags.

Talking the evolution of wheels on suitcases.

10 – Matt used a tote bag when he was in school.

Eliot had backpacks.

Eliot’s got mic troubles.

15 – Oliver’s got a chromebook AND six textbooks.

I had a backpack and tried to remember whether or not I saw backpack sin the horror movies I watched (especially from the 70s)

20 – Briefcases!

Random birthday wishes?

Jimmy went to Palm Springs after this week’s ISO.

On Thursday, Oliver and Danielle went to see Suicide Squad. Jimmy watched the Field of Dreams game. He calls it one of the best games he’s ever seen.

Jimmy talks about the game and the pregame.

The players came out of the corn at the game and Jimmy sobbed. He also stood up and applauded the TV.


35 – Jeopardy host talk.

Jimmy talks about Nanci Griffith.

Paul F. Tompkins is here!

Buffet talk.

White Lotus talk or not.

Lotta Trumpers in Palm Springs this weekend?

We’ll be right back!

We’re back!

Paul F. Tompkins is here!

Jimmy realized that Oliver forgot to give him the trivia question.

Paul is gonna take the reins and give us a trivia question!

50 – Talking starting school.

Talking Frequency with Dennis Quaid.

Paul wants a favor. He wants the power to change the subject at any moment in time. Jimmy refuses.

I’m Your Captain (Closer To Home) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvOPucs7dC0

Grand Funk Railroad.

55 – Agree to Disagree on Grand Funk Railroad

Paul tells a story about a band The Most Brothers (I think) and Mr. Rip. “Angel Saladbar.”

Talking about Punchline – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punchline_(film)

Talking comedy clubs, covid outbreaks at Comedy Store.

60 – Jimmy has the same doctor as Bobby Collins.

“Do you have any other jokes?!” – Jimmy’s mom to Bobby Collins on her TV.


1h5m – Paul talks about a comic David Sayh. Paul talks about a bit of David’s that he remembers. “Sweetheart, don’t you understand these apes are speaking French?”

Paul goes back to his comic story.

Bob Zany: too young to be a cigar guy when he started becoming a cigar guy.

Bob Zany’s real name is Robert Earl Tetreault. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Zany

Talking Jar Jar Binks and the hate he received.

1h10m – Paul does the Hall of President’s for us.

Van Buren was played by Nigel Hawthorne in Amistad. Anthony Hopkins played John Quincy Adams.

Talking the Horseshoe hair style (Bald on top but sides buzzed)

Talking Sesame Street and it’s “shocking episodes”

1h15m – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Snuffleupagus

So much metal flying around us since vaccination.

You might be on psychedelics.

Matt recalls the time Paul was at his apartment for a recording of AST Radio.

Matt has an elaborate scheme for Paul to go to the dog park without a dog.

Don’t feed the dogs!

1h20m – Paul is flabbergasted at Eliot’s dog park advice. Dogs are comedy snobs apparently.

Bill Hicks’ Five Rules of Comedy. There are 12 actually. https://www.openculture.com/2015/01/bill-hicks-12-principles-of-comedy.html

1. If you can be yourself on stage nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
2. The act is something you fall back on if you can’t think of anything else to say.
3. Only do what you think is funny, never just what you think they will like, even though it’s not that funny to you.
4. Never ask them is this funny – you tell them this is funny.
5. You are not married to any of this shit – if something happens, taking you off on a tangent, NEVER go back and finish a bit, just move on.
6. NEVER ask the audience “How You Doing?” People who do that can’t think of an opening line. They came to see you to tell them how they’re doing, asking that stupid question up front just digs a hole. This is The Most Common Mistake made by performers. I want to leave as soon as they say that.
7. Write what entertains you. If you can’t be funny be interesting. You haven’t lost the crowd. Have something to say and then do it in a funny way.
8. I close my eyes and walk out there and that’s where I start, Honest.
9. Listen to what you are saying, ask yourself, “Why am I saying it and is it Necessary?” (This will filter all your material and cut the unnecessary words, economy of words)
10. Play to the top of the intelligence of the room. There aren’t any bad crowds, just wrong choices.
11. Remember this is the hardest thing there is to do. If you can do this you can do anything.
12. I love my cracker roots. Get to know your family, be friends with them.

1h30m – Paul talks about George Carlin’s Politically Incorrect bit and how it does NOT hold up.

1h35m – Orny Adams – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orny_Adams

Paul has the con for trivia. He says the category is Potpourii.

He is trying to think about the category.

Category is Obscure Information.

Compliments for Paul’s phone cover.

Jimmy still waiting for his hotel refund from American Airlines.

Obscure Apparatus.

We’ll be right back!

1h40m – Welcome back! 2901!

Talking hat sizes.

Paul guesses Jimmy is a 7 1/8 hat size.

Apparently getting your teeth whitening is very painful.

Talking teeth.

Paul is binging Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and talks about prosthetics and teeth.

1h45m – Paul’s question: What is the name of the indentation on the bottom of a bottle called?

Round the horn!


No movie theater for me this weekend

Love Boat had 9 seasons – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Love_Boat


The doc from Love Boat? HE FUCKED.

The Arnold’s Band! “Splish Splash Yeah!”

Weezer Buddy Holly video.

Vevo talk.

2h – My answer is Pimple!

Talking about learning about how shows are shot.

Eliot! He had a fine weekend. But also some problems with his phone service. T-Mobile Digits. HE talks about it. And he also started updating a kiosk in the park.


Eliot fixed the corkboard.

Trivia Results:
Category: Obscure Apparatus
Question:. What is the name of the indentation on the bottom of a bottle called?

Garon: Pimple (5 pts)
Eliot: Dimple (13 pts)
Matt: Dimple (4 pts)
Guest: Paul Gave the Question (X pts)
Jimmy: Dimple (4 pts)

2h10m – Answer is: Kick or Punt

Jimmy and Matt win with a wager tie!

Paul lost both earbuds!

2h15m – Paul talks about doing shows online during pandemic and being glad that he has his studio set up.

Eliot talks about the needlepoint behind him from Rachelle!

We’re done!

See you next time!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth