2220 – Frittering Away with Craig Bierko (Live at the Bell House)
Live notes by Christine Cestaro (who humbly refers to herself in the third person in these notes)
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher
A lot of people are standing
Christine is “Garon-for-a-day” and she is wearing Garon’s Star Wars jacket.
Jimmy watches Law & Order but has not been ON Law & Order (you can’t jog in Central Park without seeing a body)
“They’re not looking for me” – is that a line from Taxi Driver?
Things are getting dark fast (like an episode of Mannix)
We are talking MTV VJs. (FYI: JFK airport is not related to the VJ)
Jimmy is listing VJs (Christine doesn’t know any of them)
We lost JJ – Rest in Peace
Jimmy has his arm on the chair next to him (he thought the chair was way closer than it actually is)
Update: Christine has moved the chair
Matt forgot Jimmy was in the ER
Matt is shaken up we lost JJ #RIP (JJ was before Matt’s time)
Jimmy Rec: If you’re a father / son – you should listen to the song The Dirt Road by Sawyer Brown (…and see if you’re not sobbing by the end of it)
Brooklyn shout out!
Not a lot of people here like country music…. right?
Sawyer Brown is not one man’s name. We have a Kansas situation → Kennedy’s cousin → because they both begin with K (and as we know: so does every kiss)
Christine’s a comedy nerd / not really into music and Jimmy is a well rounded man – baseball, music, comedy…
Hamilton Ref: History Has Its Eyes on Jimmy. (That’s Broadway)
Jimmy got here by piggyback. It’s more affordable than a cab. It’s the new low-level Uber
Josh Comers shout out – he got a retweet from Jimmy re: this tweet
Jimmy got some heat from that retweet from a millennial nerd
Reminder: Think globally, act locally
Update: Christine has moved another chair
Fred Savage refuses to respond to Jimmy’s emails. Everyone would enjoy him on the show.
A woman in the crowd agrees.
Have you ever seen the improv group “3 Heavy Dudes”
Jimmy got bumped up on the flight here and got one of the pods. The crowd is impressed.
It’s not his first pod. He’s a pioneer.
Jimmy’s flight was the greatest on the way here. He slept the entire time. And he was woken up for banana French toast. FYI: It was terrible.
Jimmy is allergic to bananas and the French.
Jimmy didn’t go to a lot of French classes…
Question: Do you remember being a kid?
Another question: Do you remember when the King Tut museum came to the US for the first time?
It was a simpler time when a young King’s artifacts thrilled the nation.
Confirmed: Matt DID go to it as a three-year-old boy. It was great… he never forgot it…
3 is too early to enjoy a museum. According to Jimmy: So is 43.
Matt also saw Star Wars at age 3. It seems like bad parenting
Matt took a redeye in coach because he loves his children
Matt chose not to take an earlier flight
Matt is a weekday vampire. Or a werewolf. Well he doesn’t know exactly but he’s some sort of beast.
Jimmy was gonna throw Cinderella in the mix.
Cinderella ballad was “Don’t Know What You Got”
Hair metal had to end.
Tom Keifer is the lead singer and a great vocalist
Singing like that is horrible for your voice. They did it in every episode of “All in the Family.”
Jimmy heard they did it live every single time
Jean Stapleton was the warm up act for her own show – “Jean go do your number!”
Ed O’Neill is great. But Matt is done with him.
New meme: What Song was Number 1 When you were 14
Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock N’ Roll To Me” – was number 1 when “Jimmy’s cousin” was 14
The Beach Boys get hurt again – they’re unlistenable
Billy Joel went back on his promises
Jimmy loves Billy Joel’s instrumentation
Matt has to support Billy Joel because he’s from New York
Hamilton Ref: Non-Stop
Olivia Newton John’s “Magic” was the weekend after Jimmy’s birthday.
Matt has to check the bylaws on what can be said
Audience is singing along to the bet theme while we get ready to bet… it’s a bit… scattered
Jimmy is blaming himself and society.
Queer vs. Bathhouse
The Bet: What was the popular song when Matt was 14! (July 31st 1988)
Matt’s guess: “Don’t be Cruel”
“Nothin’ but a Good Time” by Poison
Christine can’t give good clues because she has no idea who the singer is. (According to wikipedia it’s a prog rock musician from England.
Richard Marx had a great album (but not according to one woman in the crowd)
Someone in the crowd guessed Peter Cetera… (Who is from Chicago… not England)
As we know: Jimmy loves him.
Matt is singing
The artist… is Steve Winwood!
Do you know what Jimmy hates the most about traffic? Steve Winwood
It was Steve Winwood’s “Roll with It”
How was “Roll with It” at the top for 4 weeks?
Jimmy had the mini cd “Look Away” from England’s own: Chicago
The “Look Away” mini disc was bought in 89
They didn’t play in certain machines – you had to have a tray or, according to Jimmy, an adapter
Jimmy was in the business by the way
Jimmy used to be scared of his boss
Jimmy got a blanket and a pillow during his flight – it was Casper! He loved it. He never slept so well.
Another French word: Accoutrement
French Onion soup has a roof – Jimmy hates it
Matt can’t get to it so he doesn’t know
Matt loves cheese. His favorite is cheddar. The crowd agrees.
We are talking soft cheeses.
Why didn’t Matt’s family want a cable dish?
As a kid Matt wanted the dish, but now he thinks it looks awful
Guess what year Matt got cable? 1988 – Matt had a birthday that year!
Matt goes with the flow. Jimmy thinks he “goes with the flow” more than Matt does
Matt has to list times Jimmy doesn’t go with the flow.
1. If Jimmy goes to someone’s house he has to make sure a pet hasn’t stepped foot in there
The defining feature of Jimmy’s personality is NOT going with the flow
Chris is the sound guy. Hi Chris!
If a guest puts their keys on the table the first thing Jimmy says is – “Is that gonna stay there?”
No one wants keys on the table
Please welcome our guest – Craig Bierko!
Craig is taking a few bows… and now he’s exiting the stage. He’s going back to Canada!
Anddd he’s back!
He dropped his keys on the table
Christine ran to get the keys from the table.
They are now doing a bit of West Side Story
People are snapping and clapping
Craig comes from Broadway so that brings up memories
Jimmy’s first play was Bye Bye Birdie
Craig has reading glasses.
Craig’s first play, wasn’t actually a play, he was the B for Bolivia is Ms. Taylor’s 3rd grade “Alphabet of our Nations.” It was the original staging. Matt has the cast recording.
Craig does a lot of community theatre – the first play was Gypsy
The big song was Ethel Merman growling “Everything’s Coming up Roses”
Joe Allen’s has a wall full of posters from shows
Craig was out with the director of Les Misérables (that’s French)
Every poster on the wall was a show that lasted one night
Craig’s friend directed a show called Chess – which is one of Jimmy’s favorite musicals
Prediction: Craig will never achieve more than a smattering of applause (coordinated smattering from audience)
Jimmy’s review of Chess – the book is great, the music is horrible
Is it time for a Chess revival? Russian and Americans.
It was written by one of the guys from Abba.
Craig is doing George Carl’s act – which was a lot of mic work
He is not mispronouncing George Carlin.
*Johnny Carson is a talk show host.
Dirty Carson is here!
Craig likes to stay in Burbank to avoid the hoopla.
Confirmed – Burbank only has red eyes.
Craig is The Cooler.
It’s because he is doing another show at the same time.
Anddd Craig is back.
Craig laughed out loud at the script to “Sour Grapes”
Larry David directed it. He picked the director of photography because he was shorter.
Craig was nominated for a Tony – it’s not just Lin Manuel that wins trophies!
Craig tweeted a video of him singing Music Man and now he’s singing!
Craig says Jimmy Pardo is good news in show business
Craig would fly across the universe if Jimmy wanted him there
How they met: Craig was listening to NNF and Jimmy reached out
Craig heard Jimmy on Comedy Death Ray, he can still hear Jimmy in his head say: “Here we go!”
Craig is complimenting Jimmy… Christine is getting it all down
Matt is the glue that holds it all together.
Shout out to Matt’s family!
Time to play sevens!
The crowd is singing the theme!
Craig doesn’t remember learning anything ever
Before we play: Craig has some serious inside Hollywood info: keep your ears open – an actress is in some hot water right now…
The category is Broadway
Craig isn’t a gem factory, ok?!
Ok… this was all on Jimmy
Craig’s need to entertain MAY have hurt him in this game
BTW it’s Liza with a Z.
The name of the program is UnREAL – it’s being shown exclusively on Hulu!
Smattering applause alert.
The show is being shown on a calculator
Hulu is Handmaid’s Tale, conspiracy theories, and Craig’s show
By the way: Craig was in The Goonies… well he’s been trying to start this rumor for years that he was in it and got cut out
He was cut out because he looked too much like Chunk.
Please look for Craig in the background when there’s a bunch of kids around
NNF fans please start spreading the word. You know Craig from The Goonies!
Craig got into a fistfight with Josh Brolin
Craig just did a pratfall for no one
Time for an audience member to play sevens!
Kelly is coming up to play!
She has brought a snack for Jimmy – it’s popcorn!
Kelly helps run an independent theatre company (FYI: standard spelling on Kelly)
Matt is going to take couple bites and then use it as a pillow
The Star Wars jacket stays with the studio
Time for sevens with Kelly!
Kelly can’t put the hat backwards like she’s at a frat
We now have to take the hat back and play again – she deserves this
Hanwa has jumped on stage – but she must sit down
Our next contestant still thinks The Cure is relevant BUT her name is Jennifer so she has to sit
Next up is mock turtleneck anddd he has to sit
The next person: Will called his sunglasses “shades” and now he has to leave
Peter is up – he has intense sideburns
His Elvis look / color is natural
Peter didn’t do push ups today and now he has to sit down
Matt as dubbed him Caucasian Kumail Nanjiani
Sarah with an H has to sit
Weird beard gets to stay because he called Jimmy his hero.
His name is Christopher – he works in IT and he’s married. His wife is pregnant. Baby is due October – *of this year*
Christopher wants a boy so he got booed and now he’s gone
Tall guy doesn’t get to play
Cathy gets to play because she spells her name with a C
She’s wearing overalls / jumpsuit / jumper
The clue was “Gene Kelly” and Cathy said “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” and now she’s gone
Marc with a C has to sit down
Doug is now up- we’re doing Broadway – he’s gone
Rachel is her name – sevens in the game
Dealer’s choice! Jimmy hates it and loves it
Don’t worry Kelly still gets the hat!
A big hand for everyone!
Posters and poker chips are available!