702 – Greg Behrendt
Intro: 2nd episode of 700th season.
1:20 Jimmy is inappropriately angry about Eliot’s desired death-by-egg-salad, and in fact, the whole concept of egg salad in general
2:20 Greg thinks eating is not a necessity at certain times
2:50 Jimmy’s farm humor
3:15 The hierarchy of hip diseases
3:45 Matt tries to call back Cajun Jimmy and succeeds!!!
4:30 Jimmy loves Greg, and he isn’t kidding around!
5:15 Greg “No Bullshit” Behrendt is responsive to email
6:00 Strait from Down Under, please welcome Greg Behrendt!
7:00 Greg may have needed to hose down before the podcast
7:30 “Salon Selectives! COME ONNNN!!!!!!”
7:50 Greg defends his hat fetish
8:15 TV pilots: for private use, or public consumption?
9:00 Greg has some kind of pilot about comics talking about comics while doing comedy with comics and somehow there is comedy involved with comics
10:00 Maybe add a cooking segment to the pilot
10:30 The return of Cajun Jimmy.
11:00 Greg and Garafalo performed at the Sydney Opera House
12:00 Local reference humor is unpredicatable
13:00 Who closes a Behrendt/Garofolo show?
13:45 Greg is glad that He’s Just Not That Into You has “tapered off”
14:45 Garofolo used the term “LPM”
15:15 Tim Tams are mentioned yet again!
15:45 Greg builds up the Tim Tam to an impossible level
16:30 Greg drops some Keith Urban knowledge on Jimmy
17:00 Jimmy should go to Australia, because he could take over the continent
18:00 Business class on Qantas rules
18:30 Greg’s volume of clothing requires steamer trunks, wardrobes, and boxes of eye cream
19:00 Does Garofolo like Jimmy?
20:00 Jimmy goes into paranoid overdrive
20:30 The Writer’s Room hurts comics’ feelings.
21:30 Full disclosure: The Writer’s Room was created by Boris Hamilton
22:45 Pomahawk, not fauxhawk!
23:00 Matt gets a spit-take from Greg!
23:45 Greg says Matt is ON FIRE!
24:00 Greg feigns ignorance about his own podcast for unknown reasons
25:00 Greg is ready to play chess on the roof of his car
26:00 How often does Greg check his MySpace?
27:00 Jimmy begs the east-coasters to not spoil things for the west coasters
29:00 Greg has a good looking shirt for something no one has ever heard of
29:45 Thanks to the classy, gentlemanly Sweet Dick web site for the awesome shirts
30:30 Hair Talk with Greg
32:00 Greg wants to help others get noticed
32:30 If you’re open-miker, don’t expect Jimmy to see your act
33:00 A run down of good comics
34:00 Greg wants to make Claudia O’Doherty Aquaplex into a show
35:30 The intricacies of multiple-comic shows
37:00 Hot-day-for-a-suit-guy: Paul F. Tompkins
38:30 Foreign comedy festivals, and the odds of the comics getting murdered
39:40 Arj Barker is a superstar in Australia
40:30 Huey Lewis doesn’t get enough credit
41:00 Jimmy is sick of this effing equipment
42:00 Jimmy has taken to wearing a hat, and was complimented by Pat Francis
43:45 Greg’s marriage
44:30 Jimmy married his 17 year old cousin. Or maybe that was Jerry Lee Lewis.
45:00 Jerry Lee Lewis, rock, country, and ugliness
46:00 Matt spins a rock and roll / sci-fi allegory, with attitude!
47:00 The most disgusting thing Matt has ever said
47:45 Greg loves the Nerdist, despite bringing Chris into this horrible riff
48:15 Matt explains his attitude, and the calls out Jimmy on the lack of letting things breath
49:30 Should everyone have just changed their names?
50:00 We are not taking Dane Cook down on this show
50:30 America’s best, most talented, racist ventriliquist
50:45 Did I just hear what I think I heard?
51:00 Jimmy and Jeff get along great, and worked together several times
51:50 Greg worked with freshly-Republican Dennis Miller
52:45 Jimmy’s Fort Wayne shows went well, and Fort Wayne could be a great comedy town
53:30 The country is ready for more alt comedy
53:45 Taking down the Wayanses
54:20 Greg invites Jimmy to a Largo disaster
55:00 Bring the Rock should be a TV show
56:45 Mick pitches a movie idea to Ben Stiller and Judd Apatow, who then pitch it to the rest of The Rolling Stones
58:30 Jimmy should be on Bring the Rock
59:45 Come on youngsters, lose the beards!
1:00:30 “I don’t know why we’re covering comedy with hair!”
1:00:35 Hair (from the Broadway Musical)
1:00:50 BREAK TIME!
1:01:30 Dan brings a sack lunch to the tapings
1:02:15 Jimmy has sack lunch hostility
1:02:30 Jimmy’s mom’s ham sandwiches were freakishly desirable
1:03:30 Greg’s school lunches were progressive and gay
1:05:00 Greg’s only football related compliment
1:06:00 Football vs. scarf-wearing Steven Tyler
1:07:00 Jimmy loves the guitar! Except the playing it part.
1:08:30 Jimmy’s pathetic baseball days
1:09:45 Brian Regan was a college football star. Or was he?
1:10:15 Dan’s falling asleep on the job
1:10:30 SHUT IT DOWN!!!!!
1:11:30 Dan has one job on this show: listen, and take notes for Darryl!
1:11:45 Done with screaming at Dan, Jimmy goes back to guitar talk
1:12:45 Greg is FOR Guitar Hero!
1:13:00 Facebook and Twitter ranting. Or anti-ranting.
1:14:30 Greg got a bigger reaction from doing Never Not Funny than anything he had done for 10 years
1:15:30 Dick Butkus, savior of sitcoms
1:16:30 Greg loves everyone
1:17:40 Jimmy likes Tom Rhodes
1:19:00 I got two words for you: punch line
1:19:40 “Last night was awesome. Dude brought his clarinet.”
1:20:15 Man, you gotta hear the new Andy Williams
1:21:00 What would you say 15 years ago, that you wouldn’t say today?
1:22:00 Greg and Jimmy critique Matt’s disassembled joke
1:23:00 Jimmy and Greg had parallel lives
1:24:00 Greg predicts what his phone call is about
1:24:30 Greg has an agent for something he has no plan on doing
1:25:00 Dan can’t win, no matter what he does
1:25:45 Greg deconstructs himself
1:27:30 Please send a mash-up to Jimmy. He will love it!
1:28:00 One guest did not fit in, but people enjoyed the train wreck of it
1:29:00 What ever happened to the M Bar?
1:30:00 Blood transfusion, unprotected sex, shared needles, egg salad sandwich
1:31:00 The Paleos
(WHAT’S WRONG WITH AN ANCHOR TATOO?)
1:31:50 Caveman diet and exercise program
1:32:40 Wide-wale corduroy-wearing son of a bitch!
1:33:15 Matt brings in the long con and saves his own ass
1:34:00 Greg’s book of 1800s criminal fashion
1:35:15 Let’s define “hard shoe” once again. And rewrite Jimmy’s history.
1:37:00 Tompkins can wear a suit any time and make it work
1:38:00 Pleats are just a way to plan for failure
1:39:00 Jimmy’s joke repertoire just increased by 50%
1:39:40 On the podacst!
AK-47 gone, not forgotten!