702 – Greg Behrendt

Released 5/26/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode.

Intro: 2nd episode of 700th season.

1:20 Jimmy is inappropriately angry about Eliot’s desired death-by-egg-salad, and in fact, the whole concept of egg salad in general

2:20 Greg thinks eating is not a necessity at certain times

2:50 Jimmy’s farm humor

3:15 The hierarchy of hip diseases

3:45 Matt tries to call back Cajun Jimmy and succeeds!!!

4:30 Jimmy loves Greg, and he isn’t kidding around!

5:15 Greg “No Bullshit” Behrendt is responsive to email

6:00 Strait from Down Under, please welcome Greg Behrendt!

7:00 Greg may have needed to hose down before the podcast

7:30 “Salon Selectives! COME ONNNN!!!!!!”

7:50 Greg defends his hat fetish

8:15 TV pilots: for private use, or public consumption?

9:00 Greg has some kind of pilot about comics talking about comics while doing comedy with comics and somehow there is comedy involved with comics

10:00 Maybe add a cooking segment to the pilot

10:30 The return of Cajun Jimmy.

11:00 Greg and Garafalo performed at the Sydney Opera House

12:00 Local reference humor is unpredicatable

12:30 Beds are Burning (Midnight Oil)

13:00 Who closes a Behrendt/Garofolo show?

13:45 Greg is glad that He’s Just Not That Into You has “tapered off”

14:45 Garofolo used the term “LPM”

15:15 Tim Tams are mentioned yet again!

15:45 Greg builds up the Tim Tam to an impossible level

16:30 Greg drops some Keith Urban knowledge on Jimmy

17:00 Jimmy should go to Australia, because he could take over the continent

18:00 Business class on Qantas rules

18:30 Greg’s volume of clothing requires steamer trunks, wardrobes, and boxes of eye cream

19:00 Does Garofolo like Jimmy?

20:00 Jimmy goes into paranoid overdrive

20:30 The Writer’s Room hurts comics’ feelings.

21:30 Full disclosure: The Writer’s Room was created by Boris Hamilton

22:45 Pomahawk, not fauxhawk!

23:00 Matt gets a spit-take from Greg!

23:45 Greg says Matt is ON FIRE!

24:00 Greg feigns ignorance about his own podcast for unknown reasons

25:00 Greg is ready to play chess on the roof of his car

26:00 How often does Greg check his MySpace?

27:00 Jimmy begs the east-coasters to not spoil things for the west coasters

29:00 Greg has a good looking shirt for something no one has ever heard of

29:45 Thanks to the classy, gentlemanly Sweet Dick web site for the awesome shirts

30:30 Hair Talk with Greg

32:00 Greg wants to help others get noticed

32:30 If you’re open-miker, don’t expect Jimmy to see your act

33:00 A run down of good comics

34:00 Greg wants to make Claudia O’Doherty Aquaplex into a show

35:30 The intricacies of multiple-comic shows

37:00 Hot-day-for-a-suit-guy: Paul F. Tompkins

38:30 Foreign comedy festivals, and the odds of the comics getting murdered

39:40 Arj Barker is a superstar in Australia

40:30 Huey Lewis doesn’t get enough credit

41:00 Jimmy is sick of this effing equipment

42:00 Jimmy has taken to wearing a hat, and was complimented by Pat Francis

43:45 Greg’s marriage

44:30 Jimmy married his 17 year old cousin. Or maybe that was Jerry Lee Lewis.

45:00 Jerry Lee Lewis, rock, country, and ugliness

46:00 Matt spins a rock and roll / sci-fi allegory, with attitude!

47:00 The most disgusting thing Matt has ever said

47:45 Greg loves the Nerdist, despite bringing Chris into this horrible riff

48:15 Matt explains his attitude, and the calls out Jimmy on the lack of letting things breath

49:30 Should everyone have just changed their names?

50:00 We are not taking Dane Cook down on this show

50:30 America’s best, most talented, racist ventriliquist

50:45 Did I just hear what I think I heard?

51:00 Jimmy and Jeff get along great, and worked together several times

51:50 Greg worked with freshly-Republican Dennis Miller

52:45 Jimmy’s Fort Wayne shows went well, and Fort Wayne could be a great comedy town

53:30 The country is ready for more alt comedy

53:45 Taking down the Wayanses

54:20 Greg invites Jimmy to a Largo disaster

55:00 Bring the Rock should be a TV show

56:45 Mick pitches a movie idea to Ben Stiller and Judd Apatow, who then pitch it to the rest of The Rolling Stones

58:30 Jimmy should be on Bring the Rock

59:45 Come on youngsters, lose the beards!

1:00:30 “I don’t know why we’re covering comedy with hair!”

1:00:35 Hair (from the Broadway Musical)

1:00:50 BREAK TIME!

1:01:30 Dan brings a sack lunch to the tapings

1:02:15 Jimmy has sack lunch hostility

1:02:30 Jimmy’s mom’s ham sandwiches were freakishly desirable

1:03:30 Greg’s school lunches were progressive and gay

1:05:00 Greg’s only football related compliment

1:06:00 Football vs. scarf-wearing Steven Tyler

1:07:00 Jimmy loves the guitar! Except the playing it part.

1:08:30 Jimmy’s pathetic baseball days

1:09:45 Brian Regan was a college football star. Or was he?

1:10:15 Dan’s falling asleep on the job

1:10:30 SHUT IT DOWN!!!!!

1:11:30 Dan has one job on this show: listen, and take notes for Darryl!

1:11:45 Done with screaming at Dan, Jimmy goes back to guitar talk

1:12:45 Greg is FOR Guitar Hero!

1:13:00 Facebook and Twitter ranting. Or anti-ranting.

1:14:30 Greg got a bigger reaction from doing Never Not Funny than anything he had done for 10 years

1:15:30 Dick Butkus, savior of sitcoms

1:16:30 Greg loves everyone

1:17:40 Jimmy likes Tom Rhodes

1:19:00 I got two words for you: punch line

1:19:40 “Last night was awesome. Dude brought his clarinet.”

1:20:15 Man, you gotta hear the new Andy Williams

1:21:00 What would you say 15 years ago, that you wouldn’t say today?

1:22:00 Greg and Jimmy critique Matt’s disassembled joke

1:23:00 Jimmy and Greg had parallel lives

1:24:00 Greg predicts what his phone call is about

1:24:30 Greg has an agent for something he has no plan on doing

1:25:00 Dan can’t win, no matter what he does

1:25:45 Greg deconstructs himself

1:27:30 Please send a mash-up to Jimmy. He will love it!

1:28:00 One guest did not fit in, but people enjoyed the train wreck of it

1:29:00 What ever happened to the M Bar?

1:30:00 Blood transfusion, unprotected sex, shared needles, egg salad sandwich

1:31:00 The Paleos
(WHAT’S WRONG WITH AN ANCHOR TATOO?)

1:31:50 Caveman diet and exercise program

1:32:40 Wide-wale corduroy-wearing son of a bitch!

1:33:15 Matt brings in the long con and saves his own ass

1:34:00 Greg’s book of 1800s criminal fashion

1:35:15 Let’s define “hard shoe” once again. And rewrite Jimmy’s history.

1:37:00 Tompkins can wear a suit any time and make it work

1:38:00 Pleats are just a way to plan for failure

1:38:30 Plugs gregbehrendt.com; reigningmonarchs.com

1:39:00 Jimmy’s joke repertoire just increased by 50%

1:39:40 On the podacst!

AK-47 gone, not forgotten!