1903 – Breaking Down with David Feldman

David Feldman

David Feldman

In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

@David_Feldman_
Website

00 – Welcome in! 1903! Late start! Eliot’s got bank problems and malfunctioning equipment. Excuses! No Solutions!

Like the Sanders supporter he is, blaming the bank.

Eliot tries to get his Sanders impression going.

Great shows up in San Fran this weekend! Jimmy talks about the show he did with stories and crowd-work.

Live show in Burbank with Janet Varney and a random appearance from Karen Knotts, daughter of Don Knotts. Jimmy brought her on stage for a couple of stories.

The Knotts family not involved with Knott’s Berry Farm.

Live shows coming up!

Sunday 12p! http://www.lapodfest.com/schedule/

Also Chicago!

Also Utah!

05 – Jimmy saw Magic Johnson at the Hilary event that was at his house. Jimmy and Danielle went to his house and met Hilary Clinton!

He talks about going to the event and being so close.

Jimmy says she gave a phenomenal speech.

Danielle got squeezed out but Jimmy got a selfie with Secretary Clinton!

Secret service stopped him from putting his arm around her for the selfie, but it was gently and unobtrusive.

10 – I go get our guest.

Jimmy tells more about the event.

15 – Clown shoe flip flops?!

Jimmy talks more about the old lady trying to videotape.

Alex is David Feldman’s manager/gopher/handler. He got him here via google maps.

David Feldman has three emmys! All for the Dennis Miller Show. Apparently, he is a Trump supporter?!!

NNF-Mail call copy

Mail! The mail is here!

Jimmy is concerned about our guest!

20 – He opens the mail, bandsaw style.

Chuck from Diablogato! Sent us some 45s!

Glory of Love…Jimmy guesses the b-side.

180 gram vinyl

More records!

Jimmy talks about David is creaming his bagel.

Thanks for the records chuck!

ellen-usain-tweet25 – David is enjoying an everything bagel.

If you found that picture of Ellen on usain bolt’s back racist, kill yourself.

David Feldman is here! A rare west coast appearance!

Jimmy got a little deodorant on the shirt.

The clear gel burns his pits.

AS a Jew, David could eat a bagel on mic or loan money with a large interest rate.

David thanks Jimmy for his service. David went in 91 and found it much harder to kill the Vietnamese.

30 – David still performs! Jimmy doesn’t think he should.

3-4 times a week he goes up. He’s getting a divorce, Friday?!

He talks about it and his marriage.

David talks about the globe light.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Winter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Winter

More Ellen talk.
David asks a question that Jimmy doesn’t understand.

Jimmy got David his first agent. Jimmy, David, and Judy Gold together, and Jimmy put david in touch with a rep.

Break!

35 – We’re back!

Alex ahs to make a phone call but Jimmy wants to go ‘round the horn first.

CCD? Café Coffe Day?

Or actually – 

Coffee is for closers not for kids.

Jimmy jumps to Alex instead of me.

Alex Brizel! David can’t pronounce his name.

Greta Van Susteren talk.

Jimmy tries to get David to do something from his act but he forgets it.

David said Alex jumpstarted his career.

David is going to do Comedian’s In Cars Drinking Coffee. He says he is playing a barista.

Or not, Alex set him up for a bit.

40 – David talks to Jimmy about Oliver and doing an act with him.

David wants his dignity in tact so his incontinence during sex isn’t on the public letter. Whatever happened to the wet spot? – David.

A mixture of juices – Jimmy.

Santorum –

Alex is here until Monday. He’s a single guy and Jimmy tells him to swing it loose at the Viper room.

David is his only client.

David had a nervous breakdown in Vegas! He freaked out over having so many shows and couldn’t sleep. He only felt normal on stage.

45 – Jimmy talks about the best part of his time in vegas was finding out how to get from his room to the club without going through the casino.

David says Vegas audiences are pretty good. Atlantic City audiences are not so good.

David bombed in atlantic city so badly his mom described it as worse than “Daddy’s funeral.”

Jimmy talks about his dad seeing all of his bombings and his mom seeing all the good shows and his dad wondering why he was in the business.

David compliments Jimmy’s joke writing.

Do it right!

50 – Pete’s Dragon talk!

“So that was great!” – Charlie

DVD talk! TV Shows and Don Knotts.

Illios update!

Still working some kinks out on the game.

But we’ve all met Eliot’s “lady friend.”

55 – Olympics talk!

Swishy Asian asses!

Golfing wedge to the balls or hobbling ala Misery – which is worse?

Genitals are very sensitive guys.

Hi Matt!

Matt has a final answer on his pants.

anthracite
Eliot talks about his bank situation and going to a credit union to avoid fees and ended up overdrawn and having his deposits held.

David is going to charge Eliot a fee for this story.

David asks if his back charges a lack of interest fee and jimmy calls it quits on the show. That’s the end of it gang!

60 – David talks about the funniest Joke of Jimmy’s.

David is not a supporter of Trump after all.

Jimmy gives David the rundown of who we support.

“I don’t want the guy who did YOUR transplants”

David and Jimmy talk David’s hair transplants.

65 – David compares his hair transplants to Caitlyn Jenner.

David’s dream is to drive around Vegas with Jerry Lewis.

Everything is a set up with David. We don’t know what’s real with this guy!

Jimmy drops a beat and claims responsibility for the Whiplash and Birdman soundtrack.

Whiplash talk. David didn’t like the message.

David and Jimmy talk OCD over David’s trash on the table.

David HAS to wash his hands every time he uses the bathroom.

70 – David recalls a bit of his he came up with in a writer’s room. The bit is being in vegas, squeezing a prostitutes throat and saying “tell me when I get to $350. “

Talking David’s Emmys!

David talks about thinking they used his laughs for another comic.

Talking Friday Night (Videos).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_Night_Videos

David is nominated for the Triumph Election Special. There are three of them currently.

Jimmy and David talk Al Franken and the parental advice he got from him.

75 – David talks about a text he got from his son. He asked if he needed anything and his son’s response was, “just your big ol dick, daddy.” (23 year old)

David talks about having the kids see him fail…so he had them stand behind him at a urinal. His other son is 26.

80 – Jimmy’s Byron allen was WAY too black.

Apparently, Hitler invented the Olympic torch?

Jimmy asks if David and Denis Miller still talk. He loves Denis but the politics made him sad.

David talks about the ridiculousness of talking politics nowadays.

Break!

We’re back!

Eliot pulled a Donahue move and tried to dish out some relationship advice.

American incest laws if you’re curious – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_incest_in_the_United_States

David talks about Triumph and drops the bombshell that it is a puppet. He talks about how people interact with the dog and the doors it ends up opening.

90 – David’s advice on politics: Don’t meet your heroes and don’t meet the ones you hate. He talks about ending up adoring Mike Huckabee.

Talking Ali(s).

David talks about flying after 9/11 and thinking that he flew with Jimmy. He talks about a flight attendant asking him to sit up front because he looked strong.

David talks about Ali’s daughter having a “cauliflower pussy.”

Colonoscopy talk.

95 – Jimmy talks about it not being a disaster that everyone claims.

The Night Of talk. Jimmy loves it. Matt is watching The Get Down on Netflix.

David thinks there is way too much to watch. Like the three women across the street with no curtains.

Jimmy really wants to know the process of Triumph.

David has learned the power of the suit in NY. He talks about how welcoming people are when he wears a police uniform and starts to say he is able to shoot unarmed people but everyone groans.

100 – [pardostory] Jimmy tells the famous David Feldman story including how David Feldman gave him advice on getting suits which was great advice. He later suggested that Jimmy wear a tuxedo on stage, which sounds like it wasn’t that great of advice. The Tux worked in LA but not on the road. HE talked to Todd Glass about it and Todd revealed that David told HIM to wear a tuxedo on stage.

David talks about wearing a clown suit on stage.

105 – Clown on David Letterman’s show – Flunky the Clown – http://www.houstonchronicle.com/life/columnists/hoffman/article/Houstonian-was-the-man-behind-Letterman-s-Flunky-6271565.php

David’s playing with words!

Sevens!

sevens

80 – Jimmy might guest host David’s show.

Matt’s pants were actually anthracite which is a shade of grey. https://www.ralcolorchart.com/ral-7016-anthracite-grey

Loggaria?

New theme song!

Jimmy gives to David Feldman: 15 (The 70s)

Dingleberry lake – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingleberry_Lake

15/49 in the game and on the show.

Jimmy gives matt a standing ovation for his dingleberry lake is at the bottom of the state joke.

One more time!

Dingleberry Lake chat!
120 – “Has anyone told Richard Pryor, ‘Man you’re on fire’?” – David. “At least once.” – Jimmy.

Jimmy gives to David Feldman: 16 (The 70s)

Thanks David!

David talks more about Jimmy guest hosting his show.

See you next time!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth