14T – Analyzing This with Paul Gilmartin


Paul Gilmartin

Paul Gilmartin

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The Jimmy Pardo Podcast – Never Not Funny
Never Not Notes – June 19 2014
Show #: NNF Players Club 14T with Paul Gilmartin


Notes by: Ashley Wheeler

00 – Hello! We have a young person on the show. 21 is my actual guess. Her name is Ashley. We’ll talk to Ashley in a moment.

Garon is out so we had to get another girl in here. He’s a homosexual so he has a feminine side.

Jimmy is going to see Les Miserables tonight at the La Mirada Theatre.

Jimmy’s word for the day: Toto.

New rule since Jimmy is late Elliot gets to talk and ask questions.

Garon is second. Ashley’s shot to number one.

Ashley will be taking notes. Jimmy has never looked at the notes.

Jimmy has a throbbing lack of caffeine headache. There is no tea in the office.

05 – Garon wouldn’t be taking notes right now. He’d be running to the 7/11 for Jimmy. Who knows what he does for that soda behind the 7/11.

Garons mom is in town, maybe at the beach or Disneyland.

The day Matt isn’t here Jimmy likes Elliot.

If you give a warning about sexual harassment, it’s not right?

10 – Meeting Ashley. Jimmy talks about how we met at Conan and how I helped out ith the thewith the filming of his pilot. I recently interned at Conan in the talent department. Duties in the talent department?

15 – Baseball team with the Conan staff. They aren’t very good.

Jimmy asks if any celebrity made a pass at me.

What about Seth Green? Does he drive himself? Does he come in what he’ll wear on the show or change?

I don’t remember if he drove himself. I wouldn’t meet the guests at their car. My coordinator would meet them and then I would walk them back.

Jimmy isn’t on the softball team because he has one running pace.

20 – Ashley has a boyfriend. Marc with a “C.” We met at church and then went to Louisiana for Katrina relief. We’ve been together six years. He is 22 and I am 25.

25 – What word did you pick?
Ashley’s word- Tabasco (which is an old intern’s nickname)

Jimmy takes generic pain killer.

Elliot’s word- Triumph

30 – Matt: Ron Facebook here!

Paul Gilmartin is here!

Jimmy tells Paul this is not your podcast! And don’t come in with your negative attitude.

Elliots word was pretty good. Jimmy bought a t-shirt from the Triumph website.

Matt’s word- Tomahawk

Jimmy notices new velcro straps on the table leg holding the cords.

35 – Jimmy is not welcome back to Paul Gilmartin’s podcast because he is too sane.

Paul can’t wait to get on to defend himself.

Todd Glass was on the other day and he was too loud. Sounded violently angry. They got in trouble by their neighbors.

Toto songs:
Africa: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Africa_(Toto_song)

Rosanna: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosanna_(song)

Trombone player- Jimmy Panko
40 – 14T Toto!

Do they know anymore songs besides the Africa and Rosanna song?
Paul doesn’t like the guitarist.

Paul complimented Elliot on the camera set up during the break.

Jimmy goes through a list of Toto Songs.

Paul G – Maybe this is how you figure out no one buys Toto albums.

Jimmy and Paul met in 1989 at the (Roxy?)
Paul and Jimmy played softball. Jimmy made fun of a handicapped person.

Jimmy went to the zoo and got to pet a possum.

Cologne – Drakkar
Paul has noticed that some of the worst comedians were drenched in cologne.

Jimmy says if you’re feeling good and you want to feel bad, listen to Paul’s podcast.

Matt’s mom listens to Paul’s podcast.

45 – Paul has a camera collection.

Sometimes water would build up around the garage so Paul dug a ditch and put a tube in the ground. But never finished his project.

Paul asks, “Do people watch DVD’s anymore?” Like two years ago he realized no one buys DVD’s anymore.

Paul watches two documentaries every night.

Paul asks if Jimmy has seen the Bill Hicks documentary.

50 – Paul’s favorite documentary recently was, The Queen of Versailles.

Paul – This documentary is about a family that is building the largest house in America and then they go broke. The wife is not used to being broke and continues to have a shopping problem.
Matt – This guy is like the king of timeshare.

Jimmy – Did you see the one about the superheroes on Hollywood Blvd.

Paul – No, I love serial killer ones.
Paul gets upset about his undone project in the yard and then watches a killing documentary and thinks, what do I have to worry about?

Paul also loves sports documentaries.

Matt is not a bandwagon jumper.

55 – Talking about guys that pretend to like soccer. Dr. Soccer, wearing a jersey and doesn’t really care.

Paul – Midget bowling.

Jimmy talks about putting on a leotard and was told to wear a cup.

Paul – Is it a relief when you are cast in something and it gets cut?

Jimmy – No! You hang your dreams on that.

60 – Jimmy tells Paul that his memory stinks. Paul admits that he has watched documentaries twice, not realizing he’s already seen it until almost half way.

Jimmy starts a tally for how many times Paul says: Mental Illness or Depression.

Jimmy and Matt say how embarrassed they are for how long it has been since Paul was on the show. He was on back in Season 8.

Karen was recently on and is obsessed with serial killers also.

Jimmy asks Paul, Who is your favorite serial killer?

Paul – Those that kill their moms. Edmund Kemper.
Killed his mom, had sex with her and then cut off her head and put it in a duffle bag.

Another serial killer named, Fitzgerald.

65 – Paul – There are lots of female predators that don’t get reported. Like moms doing it to daughters.

More serial killer talk.

Jimmy and Paul chat about Skynyrd.

Jimmy – Midnight show in general is awful.

Red Skins – logo or name issue.

Elliot did read the article. Second time the trademark has been revoked.

Jimmy reminds us that this land is your land, this land is my land, by Woody Guthrie.

70 – Paul talks about starting a documentary review.

Bad movie night.

Doug interrupts movies that are bad.

Twilight is one of them.

Jimmy asks me why girls like it.

Maybe its the attractive guys, or vampires? But it’s not my thing. I saw the movies and they were good.

Jimmy asks what is my favorite movie? Because I love Paul Newman I said, Cool Hand Luke.

75 – Jimmy and Paul have worked at the marine barracks in Waukegan.
Jimmy talks about his ham sandwich bit. It would make the comics laugh and no one else. Paul says Jimmy was wasting their time.

Paul says that in 1994 Jimmy found his voice at Funny Farm.
It was more about his personality and not comedy writing.

Paul’s favorite moment is golfing with Jimmy. Jimmy threw his club and grabs Pauls hand and says, I’m sorry.

80 – Paul asks Matt, Who do you think is going to win the world cup?

World cup break down – Matt, How far has the U.S. gotten.

Jimmy asks if they have a chance, he says 60% chance. But not winning. It is not realistic.

Matt says the coach is from Germany.

Landon Donovan didn’t make the team. He is a super star soccer player and didn’t make the team. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landon_Donovan

Jimmy asks, do the Americans have a chance?

Matt says no.

Jimmy asks about David Beckham – what is going on with him? Jimmy said their kids go to school by his house but Jimmy never sees them.

Jimmy is pretending to be another character that doesn’t know who Jimmy Pardo is. His wife is next door getting fitted for a wedding dress. They are renewing their vows for their sports themed wedding.

85 – Jimmy talks about his leotard experience again – from 1996

Paul talks about taking photos of Jimmy for the magazine, Small Cock Monthly.

Paul asks if Jimmy likes Subway. Jimmy does, they eat there a lot.

Paul says, Subway meatball sandwich is known to defect babies. And he shits his pants when he walks in.

Paul is letting himself go and is almost 200 pounds. Paul is glad that he is the big guy with the big gut and not the skinny guy with the big gut.

Jimmy will be out of town for the Conan classic.

90 – Paul throws all of Jimmy’s emails in the trash. He has it set to the fasted speed to trash.

Jimmy asks, How is Jack Wagner?
Jimmy is jealous of everything about that guy.

Matt explains how Jimmy is when he drinks Monster.
Jimmy was especially hyper on the Mike Kaplan podcast.
Jimmy says it was, 70% anger 30% talk too much.

95 – Talking to Ashley.

100 – Jimmy says, watch out Marc’s gang might come after you.

Exclusive players club give away.

Favorite Toto song or a Toto song.
Jimmy says that sounds like a shit contest.

Paul asks about the camera that facing him. Jimmy says this isn’t Marc Maron in a garage.

Paul – Thank you for having me!

Paul mentions another great documentary, I Think We’re Alone Now.

105 – Jimmy closes with thank you to everyone!
Ashley’s nickname is the fill-in.
Paul Gilmartin from Mental Illness Podcast!