714 – Pat Francis

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

Released 8/18/2010

Intro: Jimmy is totally confident of the episode number, and is immediately enthralled by Dan’s dog skull shorts

1:30 This may be Dan’s last show, despite the fact that he gave Jimmy tissue for his used gum

2:30 Jimmy constructs a confusing sentence to explain why he talks about the weather

3:00 9/11 and a kindergarten joke from Pat

4:00 Pat is either on too much or too little

4:30 Pat’s extensive list of credits is so long that Jimmy doesn’t even try to scratch the surface

4:50 Why does Pat know that 714 is the number on a ‘Lude

6:00 Numbers on pills, and a zero on Matt

7:00 The Dream Police Improv Sketch

7:45 Lovin’ vinyl

8:30 Jimmy picks the worst example of a band live concert city shoutout

9:35 Singers In Cahoots

10:00 Brooks and Dunn, retirement and gaeity

10:30 Why Jimmy knows about bad country music

11:45 Details of Jimmy’s radios and other audio equipment

12:15 The back of Jimmy’s tee shirt is uncharacteristically scatalogical

13:00 Jimmy loves a tee shirt sale

13:30 The TV Hat contest: show your work!

14:20 Pat wants to know the details of the TV Hat

14:45 The TV Hat: Well made but why made?

15:00 Pat tries on the TV Hat

16:00 Goin’ deep with the TV Hat

17:15 Pat’s ballcap makes him look either like an extra in Philadelphia, or that he is into yachting

18:00 Matt thinks a world full of people with AIDS is fun for everyone

18;30 The “Let’s Pretend All Tom Hanks Movies Are Just One Movie” skit

19:45 Jimmy is ready to clean house and fire everyone, Paul Anka style

20:45 Les îles de Tom Hanks

21:15 Jimmy likes Islands restaurant

21:30 Pat Benatar’s book and concerts

23:45 Underrated guitarists

24:20 The Hasselhoff roast

25:30 Pat’s list of complaints about Dan

26:00 Dan learned his bad work habits from Pat

26:30 Danielle knows how to fake it

27:15 Pat breaks down the fan/performer wall to watch a Kinks movie with Mario

27:45 Your facial plastic surgeon: Ed Gein

29:30 Pamela Des Barres

30:10 Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em (KISS)

30:40 Details of the Kinks documentary

32:00 Pat goes back and adds the drama

32:00 Mario’s Pardcast-a-thon shirt gets attention from another fan, but Jimmy doesn’t care

33:30 Jimmy is cleaning house!

33:50 The underlying technology of recording the Buddy Rich rant

35:00 The niceness (and math) of Pamela Des Barres

37:00 The Pamela Des Barres list

38:00 What doesn’t Don Johnson have?

39:00 The ongoing Pamela Des Barres saga

41:20 “What do you mean?” has become another catch phrase.

41:30 Pat gives me a few subliminal shout-outs

42:00 Matt has a stellar idea for Eliot’s musings, which Pat names “This Week in Dull”

42:10 Once again, Jimmy threatens to slice like a hammer

43:30 Fun with initials!

44:00 Fun with Toto and supergroups

45:00 And Toto too!!!!!

45:30 JIMMY PARDO’S MORNING ZOO! (I think I need an icon for this)

45:45 Don’t rush Jimmy on his own show

46:00 For $69, let’s continue the initial game

47:15 Pat requests statistical information from Jimmy re: banging

47:45 For real this time: Dan is done on this show!

48:00 Walter Koenig’s first wife, who is also his current wife

49:00 Shilling for Monster

49:30 Jimmy’s Pro Comedy tip: At a comedy festival, don’t get hopped up on energy drinks, then do sprints

50:00 Welome to Jimmy’s Summer of Giving Up

50:30 Losing weight for the grade school reunion

50:45 The finer points of corn dogs, featuring a truly disgusting way to have one on the run with ketchup

52:00 Matt likes a wide-gauge hole. With relish!

53:15 Jimmy’s Backyard Burger

54:00 Revisiting the butt/elliptical equation

54:45 Hiking, working out, and underwear creep

56:00 Why is it embarrassing to pull your underpants out of your asscrack in public?

58:00 Jimmy’s rules for muling drugs

59:00 Why does a 29 year old need to be an intern? Besides the joy of Jimmy?

1:00:00 How many kinds of vision aids does Dan not need?

1:00:50 Jimmy generously plugs Dan’s standing-up comedy, captured on video

1:01:30 Jimmy gives kudos for Dan’s honesty, and his comedy premise

1:03:00 Back to Jimmy’s Backyard Burger recipe

1:03:30 Jimmy comes very close to having to put $10 in a jar

1:04:45 You don’t want lettuce in a backyard situation (Is that the sequel group to Open Flame Cooking Situation?)

1:05:10 Passionate onion talk

1:05:30 Could Howie Mandel throw out the first pitch at a ballgame? And the real story of why he stopped doing the rubber glove bit

1:07:15 More Dan bashing

1:07:45 BREAK TIME!

1:08:00 Jimmy commented on a nice-looking lady on the break, and got busted!

1:09:45 Nobody likes U2’s Pop Album!

1:11:00 The guys have strong opinions about American Idol, its alumni, and who the new judges should be

1:16:30 Eliot thinks “That’d be awesome!”

1:17:15 Good times with Jimmy and Pat’s new spontaneous snooty characters

1:18:00 Thurston Howell THE THIRD

1:19:00 Even more American Idol opining, featuring Pat’s brief Mike Schmidt impersonation

1:20:00 Dan’s podcast is 14 episodes in and he works blue

1:22:00 The popularity or not of Goo Goo Dolls

1:24:00 Is Never Not Funny more popular than Goo Goo Dolls

1:25:00 You’re already too late for your discount Meat Loaf tickets, but Jimmy may or may not be brought up on criminal charges

1:26:00 Gene Simmons on American Idol?

1:28:00 The guys finally realize they don’t even watch American Idol, but that doesn’t stop them from continuing to opine about it

1:29:00 Being on American Idol as a judge would be great publicity for Jimmy

1:30:30 The 60s-looking ads during Mad Men confuse Pat

1:31:00 Pat intros Jimmy’s killer Andy Kindler impersonation, then does it himself

1:32:30 Matt lets Dan choose the Stupid Question of the Week. He promises that one is exceptionally good. This should end well.

1:33:20 Kari Strachen (????) asks: If you owned a race horse, what would you name it?

1:33:30 Jimmy gets all technical about how race horses are named

1:33:45 The guys come up with some great names, a few clunkers and at least one pun

1:34:30 Jimmy pulls out the “how to determine your porn name” gem

1:36:20 MacArthur Park (Richard Harris)

1:37:00 Story time via song lyrics

1:37:30 Whatever happened to Will Smith?

1:38:00 Eliot’s Scandal is at www.acmecomedy.com

1:38:50 Plugging Bumbershoot

1:39:40 Ooooooo da poooccchhhhaaaaaaa

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

Pat Francis Allergy-Induced Sniff Count: 2,408*

*Number may be exaggerated. Count them yourself and prove me wrong, fucknuckles