714 – Pat Francis
Pardcast.com message board for this episode
Released 8/18/2010
Intro: Jimmy is totally confident of the episode number, and is immediately enthralled by Dan’s dog skull shorts
1:30 This may be Dan’s last show, despite the fact that he gave Jimmy tissue for his used gum
2:30 Jimmy constructs a confusing sentence to explain why he talks about the weather
3:00 9/11 and a kindergarten joke from Pat
4:00 Pat is either on too much or too little
4:30 Pat’s extensive list of credits is so long that Jimmy doesn’t even try to scratch the surface
4:50 Why does Pat know that 714 is the number on a ‘Lude
6:00 Numbers on pills, and a zero on Matt
7:00 The Dream Police Improv Sketch
7:45 Lovin’ vinyl
8:30 Jimmy picks the worst example of a band live concert city shoutout
9:35 Singers In Cahoots
10:00 Brooks and Dunn, retirement and gaeity
10:30 Why Jimmy knows about bad country music
11:45 Details of Jimmy’s radios and other audio equipment
12:15 The back of Jimmy’s tee shirt is uncharacteristically scatalogical
13:00 Jimmy loves a tee shirt sale
13:30 The TV Hat contest: show your work!
14:20 Pat wants to know the details of the TV Hat
14:45 The TV Hat: Well made but why made?
15:00 Pat tries on the TV Hat
16:00 Goin’ deep with the TV Hat
17:15 Pat’s ballcap makes him look either like an extra in Philadelphia, or that he is into yachting
18:00 Matt thinks a world full of people with AIDS is fun for everyone
18;30 The “Let’s Pretend All Tom Hanks Movies Are Just One Movie” skit
19:45 Jimmy is ready to clean house and fire everyone, Paul Anka style
20:45 Les îles de Tom Hanks
21:15 Jimmy likes Islands restaurant
21:30 Pat Benatar’s book and concerts
23:45 Underrated guitarists
24:20 The Hasselhoff roast
25:30 Pat’s list of complaints about Dan
26:00 Dan learned his bad work habits from Pat
26:30 Danielle knows how to fake it
27:15 Pat breaks down the fan/performer wall to watch a Kinks movie with Mario
27:45 Your facial plastic surgeon: Ed Gein
29:30 Pamela Des Barres
30:10 Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em (KISS)
30:40 Details of the Kinks documentary
32:00 Pat goes back and adds the drama
32:00 Mario’s Pardcast-a-thon shirt gets attention from another fan, but Jimmy doesn’t care
33:30 Jimmy is cleaning house!
33:50 The underlying technology of recording the Buddy Rich rant
35:00 The niceness (and math) of Pamela Des Barres
37:00 The Pamela Des Barres list
38:00 What doesn’t Don Johnson have?
39:00 The ongoing Pamela Des Barres saga
41:20 “What do you mean?” has become another catch phrase.
41:30 Pat gives me a few subliminal shout-outs
42:00 Matt has a stellar idea for Eliot’s musings, which Pat names “This Week in Dull”
42:10 Once again, Jimmy threatens to slice like a hammer
43:30 Fun with initials!
44:00 Fun with Toto and supergroups
45:00 And Toto too!!!!!
45:30 JIMMY PARDO’S MORNING ZOO! (I think I need an icon for this)
45:45 Don’t rush Jimmy on his own show
46:00 For $69, let’s continue the initial game
47:15 Pat requests statistical information from Jimmy re: banging
47:45 For real this time: Dan is done on this show!
48:00 Walter Koenig’s first wife, who is also his current wife
49:00 Shilling for Monster
49:30 Jimmy’s Pro Comedy tip: At a comedy festival, don’t get hopped up on energy drinks, then do sprints
50:00 Welome to Jimmy’s Summer of Giving Up
50:30 Losing weight for the grade school reunion
50:45 The finer points of corn dogs, featuring a truly disgusting way to have one on the run with ketchup
52:00 Matt likes a wide-gauge hole. With relish!
53:15 Jimmy’s Backyard Burger
54:00 Revisiting the butt/elliptical equation
54:45 Hiking, working out, and underwear creep
56:00 Why is it embarrassing to pull your underpants out of your asscrack in public?
58:00 Jimmy’s rules for muling drugs
59:00 Why does a 29 year old need to be an intern? Besides the joy of Jimmy?
1:00:00 How many kinds of vision aids does Dan not need?
1:00:50 Jimmy generously plugs Dan’s standing-up comedy, captured on video
1:01:30 Jimmy gives kudos for Dan’s honesty, and his comedy premise
1:03:00 Back to Jimmy’s Backyard Burger recipe
1:03:30 Jimmy comes very close to having to put $10 in a jar
1:04:45 You don’t want lettuce in a backyard situation (Is that the sequel group to Open Flame Cooking Situation?)
1:05:10 Passionate onion talk
1:05:30 Could Howie Mandel throw out the first pitch at a ballgame? And the real story of why he stopped doing the rubber glove bit
1:07:15 More Dan bashing
1:07:45 BREAK TIME!
1:08:00 Jimmy commented on a nice-looking lady on the break, and got busted!
1:09:45 Nobody likes U2’s Pop Album!
1:11:00 The guys have strong opinions about American Idol, its alumni, and who the new judges should be
1:16:30 Eliot thinks “That’d be awesome!”
1:17:15 Good times with Jimmy and Pat’s new spontaneous snooty characters
1:18:00 Thurston Howell THE THIRD
1:19:00 Even more American Idol opining, featuring Pat’s brief Mike Schmidt impersonation
1:20:00 Dan’s podcast is 14 episodes in and he works blue
1:22:00 The popularity or not of Goo Goo Dolls
1:24:00 Is Never Not Funny more popular than Goo Goo Dolls
1:25:00 You’re already too late for your discount Meat Loaf tickets, but Jimmy may or may not be brought up on criminal charges
1:26:00 Gene Simmons on American Idol?
1:28:00 The guys finally realize they don’t even watch American Idol, but that doesn’t stop them from continuing to opine about it
1:29:00 Being on American Idol as a judge would be great publicity for Jimmy
1:30:30 The 60s-looking ads during Mad Men confuse Pat
1:31:00 Pat intros Jimmy’s killer Andy Kindler impersonation, then does it himself
1:32:30 Matt lets Dan choose the Stupid Question of the Week. He promises that one is exceptionally good. This should end well.
1:33:20 Kari Strachen (????) asks: If you owned a race horse, what would you name it?
1:33:30 Jimmy gets all technical about how race horses are named
1:33:45 The guys come up with some great names, a few clunkers and at least one pun
1:34:30 Jimmy pulls out the “how to determine your porn name” gem
1:36:20 MacArthur Park (Richard Harris)
1:37:00 Story time via song lyrics
1:37:30 Whatever happened to Will Smith?
1:38:00 Eliot’s Scandal is at www.acmecomedy.com
1:38:50 Plugging Bumbershoot
1:39:40 Ooooooo da poooccchhhhaaaaaaa
AK-47 gone, not forgotten
Pat Francis Allergy-Induced Sniff Count: 2,408*
*Number may be exaggerated. Count them yourself and prove me wrong, fucknuckles
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Please note: Dan did NOT give Jimmy a tissue. He gave Jimmy a piece of paper from Pilar’s desk. I was there. I saw it 😉
Thanks Eliot! I didn’t watch the video that closely. But this will certainly go in Dan’s Permanent Record. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t last more than one more episode.
Great job as usual, Darryl! Gotta say, the icon for this ep’s weather report is an immediate fave, no shit!
Thanks Chad!