712 – Ty Burrell
Intro: 712th episode! We now have more subscribers than ever in a current season.
1:30 Ty’s eagerness causes concern for Jimmy, but Jimmy is going to give him a ramp-up
2:20 Intro of Eliot and Dan, in his chair-matching pants
2:50 Everyone can hear Eliot fine, but maybe he shouldn’t talk anyway
3:10 Here comes the ramp-up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3:30 The connection between Never Not Funny and the Emmys
4:00 The ramp up continues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4:30 Jimmy has extensive notes about Phil Dunphy
4:55 The ramp turned into a wall
5:15 The ramp up is similar to Inception
6:00 A three way handsome-off between Burrell, Hamm, and Corddry
7:00 Ty’s popularity among non TV viewers and movie watchers might surprise you. If you’re expecting him to be popular among those people.
7:50 Jimmy gets dragged to a midnight movie once or twice a year, or more specifically about every four years
8:00 Jimmy loves Ty in Dawn of the Dead
8:45 Ty is in Modern Family, and who the fuck is he?
9:00 Enough ass-kissing already!
10:00 Takin’ care of business (contest winners, excuses about Sammy Shaw not getting his book)
10:45 The listener CAN NOT HEAR Eliot’s wonderful pun
11:25 Ty Burrell gets schooled on the intricacies of the TV Hat
12:15 Jimmy apologizes to his elliptical machine, which is an inanimate object
13:00 Jimmy’s black-man’s-butt is all about the underwear. And desserts.
13:30 8th grade reunion for Jimmy is coming up
14:00 Jimmy has plenty of time left to get his big break
14:30 A visit from Jimmy’s dad
15:15 Don’t ask Jimmy what a quality control engineer is
15:00 Jimmy’s dad shits on his best friend Bill Davis
16:00 Bill collects Golf Magazine as a hobby
17:00 Jimmy and Ty do an improv skit
18:00 Note to Ty: asshole and idiot are complimentary
18:45 Oh, goody! Jimmy is going to tell that famous story about his dad! (Spoiler, it ends with “Fuck that noise!”)
20:00 Joan Rivers in person, water-free for 65 minutes
21:15 Ty extends something toward Jimmy for his birthday
21:30 Jimmy uses his Power of Short to get good seats, but not a TV show
22:00 Joan’s use of poster board, and maybe tape
23:30 The old “I’ll get to the act in a minute” fake-out
24:30 How famous do you have to be to not be victimized by a check-drop?
25:00 Ty remembers Joan’s glory days
26:00 Who came to Joan’s show?
26:30 Maybe Jimmy misunderstood Jimmy Dore’s opinion
27:30 Don’t people dress up to go out anymore?
29:00 Ty’s gigantic head doesn’t look good in a suit
30:45 How much red velvet cake can one man eat?
31:00 Ty is not a dainty eater
31:30 Ty and Jimmy live near each other, so will certainly be best friends
32:00 Here’s what you get for being Emmy nominated:
33:00 Jimmy and Chris Berman share a voice
33:40 Berman’s impatience with Joe Morgan
34:45 Girl-buttock-touching and sports commentators
36:30 Ty’s love of being on Modern Family
38:00 Ty has confidence in Modern Family‘s longevity, because show-biz is very steady and predictable
39:45 Ed O’Neil’s lack of an Emmy nomination… WTF?!
42:30 The guys will NOT let Ed O’Neil be overlooked again, even though they are not in the academy. Except Eliot.
43:00 Ty will not win the Emmy, and if he does it means his career is over
43:45 Is everyone so Glee-happy that it will win Emmys?
45:30 The weird category mix of the Emmys
46:00 Jimmy’s problem with the guest star Emmy
47:00 The guest star on a crime show does all the heavy lifting, while the star eats a sandwich
48:45 Ty is not Super Memorizing Tron!
50:00 Ty has done multiple Law and Orders, including Law and Order Zesty Ranch
50:00 Ty goes old-school by guest starring as 2 different characters
52:00 If only Law and Order was somewhere on the dial
52:30 Ty’s work with Chris Maloni
54:00 Danielle was in a show with Chris Maloni
55:00 Jimmy loves the Sioux Plantation
56:00 Ty wants us to believe he really is a loser
57:00 Jimmy negotiates Emmy related bets and payoffs
57:45 Jimmy bumps the podcast up to a nothing radio show
58:00 If Jon Hamm wins an Emmy, it might cost Jimmy $10,000
59:00 BREAK TIME
59:30 Ty’s head causes a total eclipse of the heart
1:00:00 Law and Order is long-form improv
1:01:00 Ed O’Neil on Married with Children
1:02:00 Spoiler alert! Zito dies on Miami Vice
1:03:30 Stephanie Edwards’ wrath at Jimmy
1:04:00 Lucky Sav-On vs. Smart & Final
1:05:00 Dan is on the ball with the Ed O’Neil awards list
1:06:45 Jimmy’s Audio Blog: 2nd appearance on The Kilborn File with Jane Leeves
1:07:30 Jimmy’s stature rarely comes into play, but it did this time
1:09:15 Jane’s shorts, ladyparts, Nair, and high heels
1:10:00 Back to Modern Family improv talk
1:11:10 Jimmy has issues with Ty’s love of his own schedule
1:12:45 Matt loved seeing Don Draper kick people out of his office on Mad Men
1:13:00 Mad Men: the funniest dramatic show, next to The Rockford Files
1:14:30 Jimmy and Ty get into a Rich Sommer pissing contest
1:14:50 Jimmy auditioned for Mad Men for the second time; did he get the part?
1:16:00 The impossibilities of preparing for an audition
1:16:45 Jimmy just needs one line, not a story arc
1:17:45 Everyone’s a little sad that we didn’t get to see Don Draper work out of a hotel room for a while
1:18:45 Ty says Rubicon is a good spy thriller, with Ty’s friend Dallas Roberts
1:19:30 Jimmy wasn’t going to watch Rubicon, and he still might not
1:20:00 More details about Jimmy’s Mad Men audition
1:21:30 Ty has given a bad audition for every major motion picture you have ever seen
1:22:00 Auditioning is an endless treadmill of defeat
1:23:45 Random guy: “My audition went great!”
1:24:00 Auditioning for game shows is a good time for Jimmy
1:25:00 Ty’s audition competition talks smack to him
1:26:30 Ty’s voice acting resume
1:27:10 Stupid Question of the Week
1:28:00 Three day weekend: Friday off or Monday off?
1:28:50 Jimmy might just quit the job altogether
1:29:15 Reaganomics, Ben Stein, and Matt’s youth
1:29:45 Matt misses doing an obvious cliche bit
1:30:00 Question 2: On a hot day do you wear a t-shirt to work then change there or wear a work shirt and arrive sweaty?
1:30:45 Jimmy has to explain his non-pluralizing of clothing items for humor
1:31:00 Rerun question: Subway or locally owned sub shop?
1:31:30 Question disqualified for misspelling
1:32:00 Grasping for straws during Stupid Question of the Week
1:32:30 Toilet paper: over or under? (Ty didn’t know there was any debate.)
1:33:30 Let’s figure out a way to take phone calls during the show
1:34:00 Dan offers a helpful solution and gets shit upon immediately
1:34:45 Revisiting Ty’s home purchase
1:35:30 Ty GETS IT! And he only met Jimmy just before the show
1:36:00 Matt’s idea: Super Emmy
1:36:40 Talk along with Jimmy: Sunday Bloody Sunday
1:36:50 Ty discovers how much fun it is to insult Dan for no reason
1:37:30 Debating Dan’s nickname again
1:38:00 Dan may have to hand over his glasses to the next intern
1:38:30 Onnnn the podcast
AK-47 gone, not forgotten