712 – Ty Burrell

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Released 8/4/2010

Intro: 712th episode! We now have more subscribers than ever in a current season.

1:30 Ty’s eagerness causes concern for Jimmy, but Jimmy is going to give him a ramp-up

2:20 Intro of Eliot and Dan, in his chair-matching pants

2:50 Everyone can hear Eliot fine, but maybe he shouldn’t talk anyway

3:10 Here comes the ramp-up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:30 The connection between Never Not Funny and the Emmys

4:00 The ramp up continues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:30 Jimmy has extensive notes about Phil Dunphy

4:55 The ramp turned into a wall

5:15 The ramp up is similar to Inception

6:00 A three way handsome-off between Burrell, Hamm, and Corddry

7:00 Ty’s popularity among non TV viewers and movie watchers might surprise you. If you’re expecting him to be popular among those people.

7:50 Jimmy gets dragged to a midnight movie once or twice a year, or more specifically about every four years

8:00 Jimmy loves Ty in Dawn of the Dead

8:45 Ty is in Modern Family, and who the fuck is he?

9:00 Enough ass-kissing already!

10:00 Takin’ care of business (contest winners, excuses about Sammy Shaw not getting his book)

10:45 The listener CAN NOT HEAR Eliot’s wonderful pun

11:25 Ty Burrell gets schooled on the intricacies of the TV Hat

12:15 Jimmy apologizes to his elliptical machine, which is an inanimate object

13:00 Jimmy’s black-man’s-butt is all about the underwear. And desserts.

13:30 8th grade reunion for Jimmy is coming up

14:00 Jimmy has plenty of time left to get his big break

14:30 A visit from Jimmy’s dad

15:15 Don’t ask Jimmy what a quality control engineer is

15:00 Jimmy’s dad shits on his best friend Bill Davis

16:00 Bill collects Golf Magazine as a hobby

17:00 Jimmy and Ty do an improv skit

18:00 Note to Ty: asshole and idiot are complimentary

18:45 Oh, goody! Jimmy is going to tell that famous story about his dad! (Spoiler, it ends with “Fuck that noise!”)

20:00 Joan Rivers in person, water-free for 65 minutes

21:15 Ty extends something toward Jimmy for his birthday

21:30 Jimmy uses his Power of Short to get good seats, but not a TV show

22:00 Joan’s use of poster board, and maybe tape

23:30 The old “I’ll get to the act in a minute” fake-out

24:30 How famous do you have to be to not be victimized by a check-drop?

25:00 Ty remembers Joan’s glory days

26:00 Who came to Joan’s show?

26:30 Maybe Jimmy misunderstood Jimmy Dore’s opinion

27:30 Don’t people dress up to go out anymore?

29:00 Ty’s gigantic head doesn’t look good in a suit

30:45 How much red velvet cake can one man eat?

31:00 Ty is not a dainty eater

31:30 Ty and Jimmy live near each other, so will certainly be best friends

32:00 Here’s what you get for being Emmy nominated:

33:00 Jimmy and Chris Berman share a voice

33:40 Berman’s impatience with Joe Morgan

34:45 Girl-buttock-touching and sports commentators

35:00 Chris Berman’s Anka-like meltdown and drug smuggling talk

36:30 Ty’s love of being on Modern Family

38:00 Ty has confidence in Modern Family‘s longevity, because show-biz is very steady and predictable

39:45 Ed O’Neil’s lack of an Emmy nomination… WTF?!

42:30 The guys will NOT let Ed O’Neil be overlooked again, even though they are not in the academy. Except Eliot.

43:00 Ty will not win the Emmy, and if he does it means his career is over

43:45 Is everyone so Glee-happy that it will win Emmys?

45:30 The weird category mix of the Emmys

46:00 Jimmy’s problem with the guest star Emmy

47:00 The guest star on a crime show does all the heavy lifting, while the star eats a sandwich

48:45 Ty is not Super Memorizing Tron!

50:00 Ty has done multiple Law and Orders, including Law and Order Zesty Ranch

50:00 Ty goes old-school by guest starring as 2 different characters

52:00 If only Law and Order was somewhere on the dial

52:30 Ty’s work with Chris Maloni

54:00 Danielle was in a show with Chris Maloni

55:00 Jimmy loves the Sioux Plantation

56:00 Ty wants us to believe he really is a loser

57:00 Jimmy negotiates Emmy related bets and payoffs

57:45 Jimmy bumps the podcast up to a nothing radio show

58:00 If Jon Hamm wins an Emmy, it might cost Jimmy $10,000


59:30 Ty’s head causes a total eclipse of the heart

1:00:00 Law and Order is long-form improv

1:01:00 Ed O’Neil on Married with Children

1:02:00 Spoiler alert! Zito dies on Miami Vice

1:03:30 Stephanie Edwards’ wrath at Jimmy

1:04:00 Lucky Sav-On vs. Smart & Final

1:05:00 Dan is on the ball with the Ed O’Neil awards list

1:06:45 Jimmy’s Audio Blog: 2nd appearance on The Kilborn File with Jane Leeves

1:07:30 Jimmy’s stature rarely comes into play, but it did this time

1:09:15 Jane’s shorts, ladyparts, Nair, and high heels

1:10:00 Back to Modern Family improv talk

1:11:10 Jimmy has issues with Ty’s love of his own schedule

1:12:45 Matt loved seeing Don Draper kick people out of his office on Mad Men

1:13:00 Mad Men: the funniest dramatic show, next to The Rockford Files

1:14:30 Jimmy and Ty get into a Rich Sommer pissing contest

1:14:50 Jimmy auditioned for Mad Men for the second time; did he get the part?

1:16:00 The impossibilities of preparing for an audition

1:16:45 Jimmy just needs one line, not a story arc

1:17:45 Everyone’s a little sad that we didn’t get to see Don Draper work out of a hotel room for a while

1:18:45 Ty says Rubicon is a good spy thriller, with Ty’s friend Dallas Roberts

1:19:30 Jimmy wasn’t going to watch Rubicon, and he still might not

1:20:00 More details about Jimmy’s Mad Men audition

1:21:30 Ty has given a bad audition for every major motion picture you have ever seen

1:22:00 Auditioning is an endless treadmill of defeat

1:23:45 Random guy: “My audition went great!”

1:24:00 Auditioning for game shows is a good time for Jimmy

1:25:00 Ty’s audition competition talks smack to him

1:26:30 Ty’s voice acting resume

1:27:10 Stupid Question of the Week

1:28:00 Three day weekend: Friday off or Monday off?

1:28:50 Jimmy might just quit the job altogether

1:29:15 Reaganomics, Ben Stein, and Matt’s youth

1:29:45 Matt misses doing an obvious cliche bit

1:30:00 Question 2: On a hot day do you wear a t-shirt to work then change there or wear a work shirt and arrive sweaty?

1:30:45 Jimmy has to explain his non-pluralizing of clothing items for humor

1:31:00 Rerun question: Subway or locally owned sub shop?

1:31:30 Question disqualified for misspelling

1:32:00 Grasping for straws during Stupid Question of the Week

1:32:30 Toilet paper: over or under? (Ty didn’t know there was any debate.)

1:33:30 Let’s figure out a way to take phone calls during the show

1:34:00 Dan offers a helpful solution and gets shit upon immediately

1:34:45 Revisiting Ty’s home purchase

1:35:30 Ty GETS IT! And he only met Jimmy just before the show

1:36:00 Matt’s idea: Super Emmy

1:36:40 Talk along with Jimmy: Sunday Bloody Sunday

1:36:50 Ty discovers how much fun it is to insult Dan for no reason

1:37:30 Debating Dan’s nickname again

1:38:00 Dan may have to hand over his glasses to the next intern

1:38:30 Onnnn the podcast

AK-47 gone, not forgotten