711 – Jimmy Dore

Released 7/28/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

Intro: Another typically STRONG opening sentence. And never forget.

1:15 White Sox had a deal with 7-11 to start their games at a certain time. I forget what time that was though.

1:35 Jimmy Dore (heretofore known as “Dore” to avoid any confusion with “Jimmy”) gets cussed out right outta the box!

1:40 Dore is amazed by the monitor

2:20 Look at Daddy, I’m talking, kids!

2:35 On this show, “Pardo” might be acceptable

2:50 A fan made a good point about “Pardo”

3:30 Letterman vs. Chris Elliott: Dore may have a surprising answer about who he’d rather spend time with

4:45 The guy trying to make Jimmy feel better about himself is dumb

5:15 Dore has mic-envy

5:41 Dore brought his Fleshlight with him

6:00 Heroes always let you down

6:15 Chris Elliott

7:00 Inadvertent Obvious Trivia

7:15 Jimmy almost ends the show before it has even begun

8:30 It’s always hotter in the valley

9:15 Dan is underwhelming, clothing-wise

9:45 Jimmy has regained his black man’s butt due to elliptical workouts

10:00 The guys talk way more about underwear than necessary before introducing Eliot

11:15 Not seeing Jimmy for a week is like having a week off

11:30 Attorney Matt makes an appearance

12:00 We are not going to talk about the No Pants Show at UCB

12:45 Finally introducing the The Lesser Jimmy: Jimmy Dore

13:50 Dore almost calls Jimmy Todd

14:1o PLUG TIME: Donkeyts.com

14:30 Jimmy explains the pancake joke to Matt

15:50 Matt’s doppleganger is apparently here instead of the real Matt

16:15 The surprising impact of being mentioned in Gentlemen’s Quarterly magazine

17:00 Jimmy thanks everyone for their nice words about his appearance on Conan’s Writers Live (Scene Selection lets you go right to Jimmy’s set.)

17:30 Jimmy was treated RIGHT by the TV staff (Such a thing might cause Todd Glass to have another heart attack)

19:00 Reggie Watts on the TV show and his ridiculous head of hair

19:40 Jimmy questions Matt’s desire for bigass Reggie Watts hair

20:15 Edmund Johnson had his hair in a rope

21:00 Ending a show with cheese

21:30 Dore saw the Joan Rivers documentary, which changed his mind about her

23:30 Jimmy shows that he actually does have a concience

24:30 By now, Jimmy will have loved seeing Joan Rivers live

25:00 Jimmy gets seated with Bud Friedman at the Paul Williams show

26:30 Paul Williams goes old school by pointing out celebrities

28:00 A drunk Paul Williams is not a pretty site; nor would he be able to run quickly

28:45 Let’s get Bud Friedman on the show

30:00 Apparently Joan Rivers and Orny Adams share a joke filing system

31:20 Jimmy’s drinking Rockstar because Monster is not coming through (except possibly in NYC)

32:30 The subscription number is not a secret, but Jimmy is not going to tell, either

33:00 Would Dore do a radio show in Chicago?

34:00 Dore already has a radio show… or does he? (Also hosts Comedy and Everything Else)

35:00 Jimmy’s very specific and narrow fast food boycott, spurred by Morgan Spurlock

35:45 Dore doesn’t have a bit about ammonia in McDonald’s hamburgers, but as a responsible comedian he should

37:15 You have to be shallow to avoid caring about how your food is prepared. Or a carnivore.

38:30 The best kind of pig? Red Wattling.

39:30 Jimmy’s spot-on Boston-Chicago hybrid dialect

40:00 Is it OK to like Chipotle? Can chains do things right?

41:00 Plane-based waitresses have not been helpful to Dore in the least

42:00 Maybe there’s a reason Dore gets so excited about his pork

43:30 How to make the Chipotle staff go crazy with excitement

43:40 This hour of Never Not Funny brought to you by Chipotle. Chipotle for all your Mexican food needs.

45:00 More Attorney Matt involvement

46:30 Jimmy’s significant other Stefane (Stef-a-nay) knows her name makes life difficult for the rest of the world

48:00 The DC Comedy Festival is over, but Dore may be talking bullshit

49:30 Has there been a famous comedian who goes by first initials? (besides WC Fields)

50:00 Louis CK… what’s the CK for?

52:00 Initials in sports and entertainment

53:00 Can you live on the road as a comedian?

54:00 Grownup comics prefer hotels

56:00 Shows at colleges are lonely

57:00 Breaking news: College kids are inexperienced at life

58:00 Matt gets schooled about college shows

58:45 Dore has been on every season, and has a steel-trap memory

59:00 Plug this: Citizen Jimmy

59:45 Bobby Brown puns ad nauseum

1:00:00 Comparing notes about Bobby Brown live

1:01:30 FORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:03:00 Chicago summer replacement radio

1:04:45 BREAK TIME

1:05:20 We started at 7 and we’ll end at 11

1:05:30 Matt’s new nickname: Snake Eyes! (But not really.)

1:07:00 Back to Bobby Brown/New Edition talk

1:07:30 Talk about the Brothers Gibb

1:08:00 Victoria Principal’s resume

1:09:00 A rousing version of the theme from Dallas, as played by Matt’s gym

1:09:30 Gerry Grossman, the Human Jukebox

1:13:12 Lip syncing on Puttin’ on the Hits

1:14:00 Michael Winslow and The History of the Typewriter

1:15:45 Dore opens for Michael Winslow

1:16:00 Jimmy’s airline drama to make a flight for a show (interspersed with O.J. Simpson talk)

1:18:30 Jimmy’s show might be a runner!

1:21:30 What happens when you refuse to buckle your child on a plane: satisfaction and comfort for Jimmy

1:26:25 “You stupid C!”

1:27:00 Misspelling “fuck”

1:27:20 Jimmy puts the kibosh on saying “faggot”

1:27:57 $10 fine that goes to Smile Train

1:28:30 Ten bucks in the homo jar!

1:30:00 Dore thinks we are giving words too much power

1:31:30 The Great “Faggot” Debate of 2010 (using quotes absolves me of the $10 fine)

1:33:00 The parallels with Jimmy’s shortness

1:35:00 Let’s not take the FUN out of Never Not FUNny

1:35:15 Explaining Steve Almond’s usage of the N word

1:35:50 Dore segues into Kyle Cease’s Standup Boot Camp

1:36:20 Jimmy reminds Dore he’s not a journalist

1:37:45 TEN BUCKS IN THE JAR!!!!

1:38:20 ANOTHER TEN BUCKS IN THE JAR!!!!

1:39:00 Is “bean bag” the new “faggot”?

1:39:45 A real comedian or a real asshole?

1:40:30 Dore thinks Jimmy has made “faggot” funnier by making it unacceptable

1:41:00 Matt the Business Man has a plan to pay for the penalties

1:41:30 Jimmy wonders about the C word

1:41:45 The C word discussion ramps things up to the gayest level ever!

1:42:50 Jimmy would rather offend with the content of his joke than a word in his joke

1:44:00 Matt is the voice of reason

1:44:30 Dore wants to know which letter of the C word is offensive

1:45:30 “This is the ‘everything else'”

1:46:00 Matt defends his lack of using the C word

1:46:30 Jimmy channeled Ted Nugent’s use of the N word on stage… and paid the price

1:47:15 Let’s move on to “bitch” shall we?

1:49:30 Stefane can sometimes be a real jerk!

1:50:00 Dore offended with his Benny Hinn joke

1:50:30 Jimmy might miss his Doc appointment, but who’dathunk Dore would be the guest in one of our longest episodes?

1:51:00 Eliot had an idea for a contest for the TV Hat

1:52:30 You can use the hat to watch movies or develop film in total darkness

1:54:00 Contest Rules!!!!!!

1:55:00 The TV Hat makes you look like the opposite of a genius, if the opposite of a genius is an asshole

1:56:45 The incredible success of Never Not Funny is rivaled only by the stupidity of the TV Hat

1:58:00 Wear a smoker’s bib and you deserve to go up in flames

1:58:30 One last chance to shit on, I mean, promote Comedy and Everything Else

1:59:00 Ooooonnn the podcast

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

2:00:00 Matt’s anal retentive side shows