25Z – Walking the Cake with Maria Bamford
Maria Bamford
Find the show at Pardcast.com
In studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and (lots of) additional notes by Darryl Asher
@mariabamfoo
www.mariabamford.com
Trivia Questions – https://bestlifeonline.com/genius-trivia-questions/
00 – I’m not here!
Alright, once again I’ll fill in for the tardy Garon. -Darryl
This is a free episode for the masses, mostly due to Matt’s alphabet completion OCD
Matt tells about a dude who could have been in Hamilton as Burr but was too much of a goof off and a jackass during the workshops
Garon is late because of work
Matt’s jackass dude was in Brittany Runs a Marathon and other good stuff
Matt and Jimmy try to psychoanalyze jackass dude’s reasons for being a jackass
Jimmy allows no excuses for the dude
Shadows of the Night
Life advice from Jimmy: If you have a chance at Broadway, take it seriously
Talking about the Democratic Primaries
Matt is now doubting the details of his Jackass Burr story
Jimmy and Oliver were on The Room Where it’s Happening podcast in January 2017
No one can remember the name of the host of The Room Where’s it’s Happening, but Eliot is trying
Treyvon Free is the name!!!!!
10 – Oscar talk.
Jimmy insists he has never heard the phrase “scattered to the winds” even though it’s in Hamilton
Charlie is now into Hamilton, and dressed as such for Hero Day in school
Apparently Jimmy only thinks of sports when he thinks of heroes
Matt almost misses Garon now that he needs something looked up
Eliot is looking up baseball stadia but now I’ve totally forgotten why
Oh, because Jimmy played a venue in Chicago in 1990 and did interviews with media while media was waiting for ball players
15 – Eliot wonders: who was the shortest baseball player? There was a stunt “little person” once for the White Sox
Eliot names a lot of short baseball players, and somehow manages to mispronounce every name, at least according to Jimmy’s pronunciations
20 – Harry Chappas was considered the shortest player at 5’3″ and played for the White Sox
Being short may not be a big handicap in baseball
Talking about sing-stealing cheating in baseball
Jimmy says no matter what kind of cheating you do, you still have to be able to play
Back to Oscar Talk – Jimmy and family watched at home; no party this year
Matt’s Oscar insight: There will always be speeches
Matt liked Chris Rock and Steve Martin, but Jimmy did not
Jimmy didn’t like the opening number
25 – More opening number talk
Everyone has an opinion about the jokes on the Oscars
No one understood why Eminem was there
30 – Jimmy: What was the funniest line of the night? Tom Hanks saying Brad Pitt and Colin Jost were on the roof, shirtless “And dude, it was noooo contest!”
Jimmy has a fake argument about a fictional fan taking imagined offense at his joke about mistreating a dog
Matt gets a text that Charlie “fell off something” but is ok
Guessing the Oscar winners
35 – Bong Joon-ho won 4 Oscars, tying Walt Disney for the most Oscar’s won by a single person
Talking more about Oscar picks
Schedule of upcoming podcast episode releases
1000th episode coming up on February 26; Season 26 on March 4
NNF Platinum talk
40 – Matt talks us through the new Platinum levels of Never Not Funny
All other podcasters, who are more successful than NNF, are FINE, just FINE, everything is FINE
Lots of politicians who are Matt’s age look way older
Back to the Platinum levels
Jimmy says a lot of people would rather pay a small monthly fee than a one-time fee every year or six months
45 – Three tiers (in addition to the free weekly episode):
Platinum – $5 a month, gets all episodes, plus a monthly bonus episode, plus video for all
Platinum Plus – $10 a month, gets you everything above, plus the entire archive of audio and video, over 2,000 media files, a private chat room, and once a month a live-stream call-in episode, exclusive tee shirt, enamel pin, and a sticker
Platinum Primo – If you really want to give us more money. All above, plus a March-to-March Calendar by NeverNotShopped, a personal phone call from Jimmy (there’s math involved here), an invite to an online gaming session with the gang four times a year, plus the J-J-J-Jimmy Pardoooooo radio producer’s 2006 pitch audio (this later gets moved to the $10 tier)
50 – pardcasthelp@gmail.com is the help contact
The new website is state of art, slick, and wonderful, and great, and easy, and expensive
Garon shows up and talk about work, and what books are selling.
Eliot lists the fans’ “Y” artists
60 – Maria enters and is immediately foul-mouthed
My work here is done! We now go LIVE to Garon’s notes
-My pleasure, Darryl
Talking Zs.
Lisa Lampanelli is a life coach now?!
Maria went to Target!
Garon hits the Pardomizer: F!
It’s been too long without Maria
We’ll be right back!
And we’re back! 25 Free Z!
Is F Troop Maria’s favorite show? Nope it’s The Muppet Show.
Maria’s new special Weakness Is The Brand on Amazon!
Maria wants to talk about poop?
65 – Maria talks about the vanity plate she got for her husband. TurkLeg.
Turk 182 – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turk_182
1985
Til Debt Do Us Part – Canadian Personal Finance Show that Maria has been watching.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Til_Debt_Do_Us_Part
Talking Ink Masters
Kat Von D’s show is LA Ink.
Maria also watches Barter Kings
70 – Jimmy gets to the brass tax and demands to know why Maria hasn’t been here in 4 years.
Maria gets it!
Depression is the key!
Lepracy is the way in!
Weakness is the Brand! On Amazon!
Maria talks about her interview show on Topic.com: What’s Your Ailment.
75 – Maria talks about doing shows and trying to book her friends as guests.
“It’s already got a coat!” – Jimmy about Matt’s dog in a sweater.
80 – Maria’s got kid fears. They’re too honest.
85 – To that point!
Jimmy is looking up the facebook post he was trying to figure out.
It was Girl Scout Cookie related afterall.
90 – Maria talks about her time in the scouts!
Personalize your voicemail!
Matt talks about his dad’s voicemail.
95 – Eliot chimes in from the Karaoke Korner that Stan is not a good Karaoke song.
Maria does Love Is A Battlefield at Karaoke.
Jimmy’s glad to hear Maria is singing again.
Matt talks about his go to karaoke songs.
100 – Jimmy does Could’ve Been A Cowboy and Could’ve Been Me.
Matt saw Jimmy do Karaoke one time. He did Peter Cetera duet.
Maria’s husband has strong opinions on music and HE IS RIGHT she insists.
Maria’s husband is from Philly.
Maria and her husband dressed in hot dog costumes for her wedding? For the reception!
1h40m – Maria thinks Rock Lobster is definitely a novelty song.
105 – Cake walk!!
Dry Bundt
No ants in Maria’s neighborhood.
My F is Frank Stallone!
Soup vs Chowder vs Chili talk.
Chowdership!
Maria is T-balling jokes for us.
Maria fails to yes and jimmy’s soup comment.
Frank Stallone – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Stallone
110 – Maria talks about seeing a Maga hat at her show. Jackie Kashian saw one also.
120 – Trump is just gross.
Break!
We’ll be right back!
We’re back! The Free Z!
Talking Jen Kirkman! We all love her!
Maria does her “mom” voice for us.
Maria’s mom is on TWO diet programs. Brightline and Weight Watchers.
Eliot watches some german archer on YouTube that he needs to talk about.
130 – Jimmy has discovered he’s 15% French?! His father is rattled by this.
Eliot’s F is Fatboy Slim!
140 – Matt’s F is Frank Stallone. Are we splitting?!
Frank Zappa is Maria’s F!
Moon Zappa is great with comedians.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valley_Girl_(song)
Freak Wave is someone’s new special.
145 – Eliot reads the fans.
Talking Cats!
Jimmy’s F!
Frank Sinatra, Frank Zappa, Fats Domino, Frankie Valley
#1 Freddie Mercury.
NO WINNER!
2h30m – Jimmy and Maria talk about Maria’s “rehearsals” where she takes someone to a shop and does her act across from them.
19th Geeky Ts! With Jimmy!
150 – Maria is on tour!
My pleasure,
Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth
