NeverNotNotes

1620 – Brightening Your Smile with Nikki Glaser


Nikki GlaserIn studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher

@nikkiglaser
Website

00 – Welcome in! 1620! Coocookachoo! Denis Miller is a right wing nut but he was funny in the 80s and 90s!

Good father’s day for Matt. The family went to Grand Park and “splashed around a bit.”

Ole!

Oliver had a dance recital on Father’s Day, so, oddly enough, did Zoe. Oliver stole the show apparently!

Eine kleine Nachtmusik

Amadeus Amadeus Rock me Amadeus!

Matt fully expects to be crucified for his muppets comments.

35-40 year generations, “suck the cock of Kermit.”

05 – Matt thinks the muppet movies get worse as they go along.

The jokes are for kids and 80 year olds who likes vaudeville.

Matt takes flak for thinking Jurassic Park is mediocre. Suggests watching it back to back with Jaws.

Jimmy talks about playing war with Oliver and Oliver saying its sexist that the king is worth more than the queen…Jimmy does this to make fun of Eliot’s recent facebook post.

Eliot considers changing playing cards from monarch to military ranks.

Let’s have Ricky Jay plant some cards into Eliot’s neck.

10 – We talk about Eliot’s new card designs.

Jimmy reads the comments on Eliot’s post. Eliot says now he knows. He did his research.

More card chat!

Holy Diver –

15 – There is audio of Rainbow Bridge at a reunion session!

Matt talks about a Chicago cover he heard Jimmy singing on Mike Henry’s show.

“It’s fun.” – Jimmy

We have a listener gift to open!

Jimmy talks briefly to our guest Nikki Glaser!

It’ll be an exciting day for NIkki!

We’re opening a box!

Eliot gives some info.

Nikki had a funny face apparently.

20 – Don’t send stuff to Eliot! Send it to us directly.

Cajun Jimmy!!

There is some gator potential. Jimmy wonders if there is a burt Reynolds picture in there. (Because he was in gator!)

Batteries!

Why can’t you take a lithium battery on a plane?

Mailing a lithium battery

25 – Matthew Barras (Sp??) gave us a drone!

eliot-drone

“You don’t know this about me but I actually do have a drone.”

“You don’t know this about me but I actually do have a drone.” – Eliot

Matt now wants to kill Eliot.

Thanks Matt Burass! (I can’t be spelling that right.)

You got new clicks @pardoisms!

Slow it down. 2 per episode!

Nikki Glaser is here! They’ve known each other for years. The year they met was in dispute. Jimmy thinks 2005. Nikki says 2006.

30 – Nine years! Nikki’s grown into such a woman.

Matt’s gotta go next door to fix the buzz! AND get an autograph from MC Lyte.

That went great! No autograph yet though Lyte’s busy.

We’ll take a break! Nikki Glaser is here! They met the day after Jimmy’s Dad’s wedding.

Welcome back! Thanks for hearing that beep!

Episode 1620!

Haircut!

We talk about my dad.

Night Shift Billiard Apparel

35 – Nikki hasn’t listened for a while.

$_35Jimmy wants to know how Nikki’s teeth are so white. She uses Arm and Hammer extreme whitening.

Jimmy is in now that he knows they have a sensitive version.

40 – Good lookin’ teeth Nikki!

A few good men – 

We talk Armie Hammer – 

You’ve Got Mail talk!

We settle on Sleepless in Seattle!

DocTalk

45 – We talk Montage of Heck. 

Soaked in Bleach is the other Kurt Cobain doc –

Inside Out talk. Nikki LOVES it and is so happy that this movie is there for kids to watch to show them feelings are okay.

Matt had to make an effort to keep himself from sobbing at the theater.

50 – Jimmy talks his feelings on Pixar’s Up. 

Same director Pete Docter for Up and Inside Out.

Talking FitBits!

Nikki is impressed by Jimmy’s running.

55 – Mansion talk. 

Mansion?

Jimmy just short of a mansion. Eliot says he needs to get a gator room on the second floor.

Room falls silent.

Hawk vs Eagle screech chat.

jurassic-world-logoJimmy plays some Hawk Harrelson for us.

60 – Some Jurassic World talk.

Matt plays a screech.

Nikki is a female Michael winslow according to Jimmy.

She asks if that means she shouldn’t be headlining.

Jimmy hosted the Beastly Ball again this weekend!!

gambling

We’re betting!

Eliot is giving us a nice sound bed. Matt doesn’t appreciate it.

65 – Oliver Hudson talk. Nikki has no idea who he is. Jimmy furious about it. Nikki refuses to accept that reaction.

Oliver said Happy Abandonment Day on Father’s day.

Bill Hudson

Jimmy gets up and takes Eliot’s mic away after another comment.

Jimmy continues to tell the story about the Beast Ball.

Jimmy recounts getting tackled on stage by a congressman.

70 – Nikki talks about how she fainted on stage once and then had that post embarrassment rage and ran out of a bathroom screaming “is anyone going to help me?!”

Nikki sober for 3 ½ years. She loves it.

75 – Lance Bass, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Carolyn Hennessey, and more! No Betty White this year. A helicopter ride with the LAPD went for $7500.

Lance Bass’ table was having a ball.

“That’s a good lookin’ falcon.” Jimmy says to a huge blurt laugh from Danielle in the back.

Jimmy talks about a time he got a little teary when he heard his brother laughing at something stupid he said on stage after not seeing him for a year and a half.

There was an auction for a week stay at a mansion in Scotland.

Bidding (no airfare) started at:

We bet on the starting bid.

Nikki: 10k
Garon: 5k
Eliot: 50k
Matt: 20k

It started at 30k!

80 – Stefan won it. Jimmy not comfortable announcing what this guy spent.

After Hours with Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Nikki has no interest. It went for $4500.

TLC Kickstarter: 

gambling

Money back in the pot for another bet.

18 People in a luxury sweet food and cocktails included for a lakers clippers, kings game AND a luxury box for a dodgers game with food drink included for 25 people. ALSO parking.

Nikki: 130k
Garon: 35k
Eliot: 100k
Matt: 50k

Actual retail price 6k!

WHAT?!

A trip to Africa went for 66k!

90 – Jimmy needs to apologize. Nikki is not like Michael Winslow she is like Wayne Brady.

familiare

The Familliare! Eliot got his mic back.

Matt’s doing good.

Our guest is Nikki Glaser. She was never on the roasts. She does have her own show on comedy central now called Not Safe with Nikki Glaser. It’s about sexy stuff.

TJ Miller and Ally Wong were on the panel.

Matt wants to visit Scotland. Jimmy suggests going for the Edinburrough comedy fest and writing it all off.

Jimmy tells a story about being in Vegas with Danielle and this really attractive guy sits next to them. He’s playing $100 chips and at one point turns to them and asks, “do you mind if I double down.”

Nikki does not enjoy cards.

tootsie popsNikki wants a lollipop! She takes a mango berry. The chocolate bars for schools are good!

95 – Matt talks about a Tommy Davidson joke.

Tommy Davidson introduced Jimmy as a DJ on WLS when he was on Premium Blend.

Nikki recounts her favorite intro “our next comic just put together a tape for letterman and we wish him a lot of luck in that.”

Jimmy tells his favorite intro being Pat Francis being called the wrong name.

Happened to Nikki too “Vicki Selzer.” Jimmy suggests making that an alt character.

100 – Jimmy was never on WLS. Jimmy would go on some guys show once a month but he was never a DJ there.

The panel talks Premium Blend.

Jimmy counts that money!!

Jimmy talks “Face your money!”

Jimmy reveals what his closet looks like. Lotta blue organized by hue. Light to dark.

Danielle got Jimmy a blue shirt that he is excited about because he’s been wanting to buy it.

105 – Eddie Van Halen is running his mouth like an asshole currently. He said that he taught Michael Anthony everything. Seems unnecessary since Michael Anthony never says anything about Van Halen. Sammy Hagar said it’s all BS and had to stop the interview because it was so infuriating.

The death of Susan on Seinfeld – Jason Alexander

Heidi Swedberg – 

Van Halen addiction

Jason Alexander story

julialouis

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss

No one understands how Julia Louis-Dreyfuss gets better looking every day.

Enough Said chat. Good movie!

Jimmy calls Veep the funniest show on TV.

Anjelah Johnson talk! 

Jimmy has no problem with Vin Diesel being Kojak. He does have a problem with them automatically using a bald guy.

The Tipping Point – 

Matt wonders when Jimmy is auditioning for the Kojak movie.

Great job Nikki! It’s a dream come true for her!

Nikki is in Trainwreck with Amy Schumer!

Nikki tells an audition story. “Okay I think I see that you are trying to do here. Thank you!”

Jimmy tells a story auditioning for an MC part on a WB show and not having the right pages. It was all the producers fault and she screwed up his audition.

120 – Everyone has “I wish I would have…” stories.

Safe faces with Nikki Glaser. She was introduced on stage once as having a show called Nazi with Nikki Glaser.

Congrats on the show Nikki!

Jimmy a big fan of her showrunner!

See you next time!!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper/Lazy Queen/Sloth