Never Not Funny 1307 – Jimmy Pardo Welcomes Josh Comers
00 – Hello everyone! Jimmy had a buttock issue and is wearing reversible shorts! Plaid to grey! Separate pockets. Jimmy got a little self-conscience while showing off his reversible shorts. Jimmy going to Hurricane Harbor tomorrow. Matt not a water park guy, he got beat up at one before. Bound to experiment at a male only water park! Zoe had a cinnamon bun! She only likes the Curious George Splash area that has a sign saying, Adults must be accompanied by a child. No creeps or teenagers!
05 – Rocket Ride is in fact on Kiss Alive 2! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alive_II. Stop complaining about ads! Check out Warby Parker! Here is their new business for razors! https://www.harrys.com/the-truman-set. WarbyParker.com is for glasses. Harrys.com is for shaving!
10 – Jimmy is going to go on a hipster paradise vacation. Bike for 2, mustache wax, trip to silverlake. Jimmy was going down a path of comedy and eliot derailed it! Matt forgot the warby parker code. My shoes are converse boat style shoes. Our Lady of Loretto Lancers was the catholic basketball team. George Falcon was Jimmy’s teacher.
15 – Culver City Panthers! Or Centaurs…Oliver: Why can’t we be that? They get the Centaur we get the owls. Matt is on board with Owls. Eliot calls them hunters. 98% of cat deaths is from Owls. Matt uses this to confirm their badassness. Jimmy and Matt want to do Culver City Alfs.
20 – Any ALF school team will take out any cat themed team. It was not 9 minutes of ad dick locks! (Jimmy doesn’t know what that means).
25 – Dick locks are real but not gag gifts like Jimmy wanted. Makin’ It was the TV show. Losin’ It was the Tom Cruise movie.
30 – Jimmy said Puss again! Josh Comers is our guest. I’m still looking for the ALF studio. We’ll be back!
We’re back! Jimmy is at Lead Mic! VMA anger. Jimmy hates the term “junk”
35 – I’m sporting the Primo shirt! I guess I’m the first baseman today. Eliot with the thumbs up at second. The Honcho Matt Belknap! Josh in a jean! Welcome to the show Josh Comers! First timer! Jimmy wants to make extending utensil for on the go oatmeal.
40 – Jimmy regales us with another Robert Lamb Chicago tune. Sarah Palin jokes! Conan won’t even tell jokes about her. Josh is a conan writer who just worked on the Roast of James Franco.
45 – Josh talks about the differences in writing for the roasts of hasselhoff and sheen and writing for James Franco. Josh enjoys the random guests. The Franco roast had all comedy people. No real random celebs (Springer/hulk Hogan) Joke that didn’t make the air: Andy Samburg is here, the Dick in the box guy roasting the dick in the ass guy.
50 – The dirty stuff gets the bigger reactions in roasts. Jimmy says the roasts are all hammers no build up now. Josh Joke: James Franco, I love your art why did you stop when you were six years old? Jimmy joke for the roast: comparing 127 hours arm cutting off to cutting of your own arm watching him on general hospital. Josh’s wife is named Matilda by way of Australia. Nick Kroll kicks off the roast. Jimmy asks if there is any joke overlap. Josh says it’s avoided as much as possible. Scripts gotta get in early.
55 – Some people will keep it secretive and not send scripts in until the last minute. Teleprompted a bad idea because the Dais can see the jokes and lose the element of surprise. Jimmy tries to figure out what people on the plane next to him are working on. Canadian Doubles comes up again! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_doubles Australian Doubles is Canadian Doubles with rotation.
60 – Josh dreamed about writing jokes last night. Jimmy dreamed a dream AND about a Galilean. Jimmy merged three peanuts characters and Josh. Jimmy compliments Josh on his furniture. Riffs that it’s all Ikea stuff. Josh has never hired movers until this last move.
65 – Jimmy bought the new Robin Thicke CD. He loves Blurred Lines. Miley Cyrus VMA chat. Matt has a problem with miley’s tongue and with her motorboating a black woman’s ass.
70 – Josh says, it’s all hammers on the VMAs. The first joke Josh got on TV was an MTV joke regarding Britney Spears. The panel thinks the song of the summer is either blurred lines or get lucky. Jimmy bought Robin Thicke, Daft Punk, and Glen Campbell. Everyone finds Liam Hemsworth “dashing.” Jimmy enjoys Robin Thicke’s eyes.
75 – Do young people think about Alan Thicke? Jimmy does Chuck Woolery’s breath mint commercial.
80 – I enjoyed the miley performance. It was weird but kinda fun. Josh keeps adding chainz. Sports announcer Scott Ferall http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Ferrall. 2 other great songs on Robin Thicke’s album. The rest is good. Daft Punk is disco. Jimmy saw Luthor Vandross at a magazine stand. He jumped out of a limo to buy porn. (GAY PORN!). HE was wearing a 27 button suit. From the closet to the box – Josh on Luthor.
85 – Josh’s favorite band: Van Halen,
Josh had a horrible experience at Van Halen. He got stoned b4 the show and had to deal with a crazy loud VH fan who wanted numerous high fives. He tells the guy they can high five once per song. The guy shakes his hand and offers a truce (There was a war?) Eventually he has to start letting the guy hang when he goes for the high five.
90 – high five guy’s wife grabs him and pulls him into her sit so she can be the buffer and stop her husband from getting angrier. He asked Matilda what the problem was and she called the guy retarded. He kept telling her not to call him names because it wont help. Turns out he really was retarded, or mentally challenged. Matilda turned to some other guys to make sure they’d help out if the guy got violent. Jimmy thinks the story should have ended with the retarded guy kicking josh’s ass.
High fives can hurt guys. Be careful. Josh loves the new VH album. Josh also loves Bruce Springsteen and Guns and Roses.
95 – Jimmy sat next to a mentally challenged person at a clay aiken concert and ripped a t-shirt out of the hands of a deaf kid. He was able to find the kid and give the shirt to him. Josh bailed on his mental people are less than us.
We’ll be back! Josh Comers is here!
We’re back and we just watched the Miley Cyrus performance. The computer started overheating. Matt: I guess the computer liked it! Josh can’t figure it out. She’s a little awkward. The tongue thing is weird. Jimmy calls matt prudish again. We’re talking about Miley Cyrus so her performance worked.
100 – Jimmy wonders why the eagles get a free pass. Robin Thicke’s album released on July 30. Richie Sambora fired from touring with Bon Jovi. Matt compares them to late aerosmith. Jimmy went to see Heart and Jason Bonham with Pat. Matt hasn’t gone out with another couple in probably four years.
105 – Josh shocked by Matt’s lack of dinner parties. Jimmy does some Groucho. Josh approves, says he’s often called the modern day zeppo. “quiet and uninteresting?” – Jimmy. Josh does not understand the Ke$ha liking. Pitbull sampled a Chicago song. Josh says to check out 2chainz 15. Fucked up the joke! 15 chainz! Ray LaMontagne was not in a band.
110 – Jimmy is on board with a concert with Josh but wonders who they’ll see. There’s overlap so probably not a problem. Jimmy sings Young Girl but not Woman Woman by Gary Pucket and the union pucket band. Josh’s first waiting job he gave the wrong food to the drummer of union pucket band, ended up with an invite to the show and an autographed picture.
115 – gene simmons is doing a “vodcast” with Jon Lovitz at the comedy club at City Walk. 3 days ago.
Jimmy and Josh duel iron maiden opening acts. Josh Ace Frehley. Jimmy: Quiet Riot
Josh compares internet searching to looking for JIF at a whole foods.
Eliot guesses the opening act for Iron Maiden was TONY BASIL.
120 – You need back up at an iron maiden concert. Huge Hispanic fanbase. Jimmy rushed out to avoid being lanced by conquistadors. Jimmy sings some Iron Maiden. Danielle got Jimmy guitar lessons for Christmas. He has not gone yet.
125 – Apparently Michael Anthony did not play much bass on the van halen albums. It was mostly Eddie! Jimmy likes Matt’s Where’s the Bass character. Jimmy endorses Kojack per Mike Schmidt’s suggestion. Josh gets very anxious if he does not go to bed at midnight on a work night.
130 – Jimmy is in with Orange is the New Black! Jimmy’s a good man. Jimmy gave a bike to goodwill. Jimmy loves that Oliver doesn’t want to do rides at the carnival.
135 – Josh does not believe the flaw in the UP wrist band. Josh endorses the 7 minute workout. Josh’s oatmeal turned it all around. Josh had long hair, “I fucking rocked.” People turn into cartoons when people order coffee at the end of a dinner.
10/5 LA Podfest at 6pm! Podfest is October 4, 5, 6. LApodfest.com. Follow josh on twitter! @joshcomers
140 – nobody puts honey in the corner!
We’re out! See ya next week!
– Garon/The Thief/Cuban Defector/Scout/The Beast