1115 – Myq Kaplan’s Self-Hating Puns

Myq Kaplan’s face

Season 11 of Jimmy Pardo’s award-winning Never Not Funny podcast rolls on with returning guest Myq Kaplan. Myq delivers more than his fair share of puns, but don’t worry, he hates himself for it. Along the way, we also get to hear about Jimmy and Matt Belknap seeing the final flight of the space shuttle Endeavor, piggy-back style. (The shuttle was piggy-back, not Matt and Jimmy… although… chicken fight anyone?)

They guys also discuss Myq and Micah Sherman’s CD Please Be Seated, which Jimmy can’t remember the proper name of, but which you should buy anyway.

Enjoy the show notes!

In-Studio Notes by Garon Cockrell – [Additional notes by Darryl Asher]

*All spelling errors are the fault of my stupid fingers.*

0 – Jimmy playing with his mic stand to start the show. 4 finger and thumb area great band.  Credit to Echo and the Bunnymen! 

Echo and the Bunnymen

[Mike Schmidt’s bedbug loss is Jimmy’s gain]

Jimmy goes over his record collection including Long Plays, 45s, and Extended Plays (some autographed)

5 – Jimmy has 512 ottomans to match the mb in his fujitsu laptop. Matt says its 2012 and time to bump up to 1 gb of ottomans.  Matt corrects course with Ottoman Empire. [C’mon Jimmy! FUNNY TIME!] Jimmy says Matt’s on a tobaggon run from funny to not which leased to taboggan chat. [Matt has either taken off his scarf or not. One or the other.] 

10 – I am now described as dormant and docile and The BEAST!  Hilarious intro to Ross Drummond from across the pond!  Note:  the Bassist from The Smiths is Andy Rourke. Ross went to the Riot LA fest.  Writer’s Room canceled do to scheduling! [Eliot comes in STRONG and CONFIDENT!]

15 – My sad face is a face of concentration! BTW that website had the tracklisting wrong here is the CORRECT listing:

    “Do Anything” – Pete Shelley
    “Brilliant Mind” – The Furniture
    “Cry Like This” – Blue Room
    “I Go Crazy” – Flesh for Lulu
    “She Loves Me” – Stephen Duffy
    “The Hardest Walk” – The Jesus and Mary Chain
    “The Shyest Time” – The Apartments
    “Miss Amanda Jones” – The March Violets
    “Can’t Help Falling in Love” – Lick the Tins
    “Turn to the Sky” – The March Violets

Click to buy or download from Amazon

20 – “Do you got coloreds over there in Britain?” [Besides Downtown Julie Brown.] Myq takes credit for brits.   Myq Kaplan and Micah Sherman’s CD is called Please Be Seated.  A music and comedy album with 22 tracks. (Some of them are short – Myq)

[Matt’s nightime release of Never Not Funny files is a WIN!]

CONTEST to win the CD:  Name 3 of the comedians featured on the track Comedian’s National Anthem.  Contest is probably over by the time you are reading this.

25 – Ross brought Caramels from Scotland.  Wafer Biscuit great band name.

On the name Limp Bizkit from Wikipedia:  Durst named the band Limp Bizkit, because he wanted a name that would repel listeners. According to Durst, “The name is there to turn people’s heads away. A lot of people pick up the disc and go, ‘Limp Bizkit. Oh, they must suck.’ Those are the people that we don’t even want listening to our music.

[Second thought vs. second’s thought. WTF Matt??? No one says “second’s thought!”]

30 – Jimmy has new “Spooky Shoes”  (side note:  Cockrell Meaning:  one who raised and sold young cocks; a poultry dealer.”    Wolf Blitzer made Jimmy laugh out loud.  Doo wop time!  Time to take down your 9/11 decoration.  Half-inflated bouncy house, slide that

Photo courtesy of LA Times

comes from the roof and crumbles halfway through, box cutter collections.  Pin the tail on the pilot’s door (with a box cutter).

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

35 – Shuttle Endeavour talk. Jimmy does a Seinfeld impression!  Ross flies in on Air New Zeland.  Jimmy hates people who say “Sammich” despite just doing it himself on accident.  Myq did spots for Subway and Pizza Hut some are available on myqkaplan.com

40 – Give the right address when you buy a T-shirt!! back to LAX: Oliver’s school is in the flight paths of LAX’s north run way.  Shuttle planned to land on the south runway.  Lots of positive energy for the people coming to watch the shuttles.  Beautiful positive vibes while everyone is waiting. 

45 – The shuttle watching was really exciting and exhillirating.  Matt watched from Burbank.  Shuttle went directly over their heads about 500 feet! 

The iPad photo Jimmy’s fellow gawker took

50 – The shuttle dropped to about 50 feet near Jimmy and others.  Unscheduled flyby.  Great picture going to be posted on NNF Facebook page.  Once in a life time experience. (Note: I missed it).  Endeavor had 25 space missions and orbited the earth 4,671 times.  Police officer vistied Oliver’s school.

55 – Myq bussed up to Boston for a CD release show.  He opened for Colin Quinn at a Boston University Alumni Show.  Btw Joe List’s website is comedianjoelist.com. 

60 – Sugar Sugar sing along. 

Sugar Sugar

“Spring photo no doubt about it.” on Please be seated.  Micah has a sketch comedy CD out as well.  CD available on Amazon, iTunes.  Nerdmelt Showrom on 9/28. 10/10 guests on NNF have podcasts including Myq Kaplan’s Hang Out With Me. Micah Sherman appears in Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past.  Sherman can pay his own way!  Hushed tone chat! 

65 – Gabe Kaplan’s daughter Rachel was an intern on Tonight Show with Conan.  They talked into introducing herself to Travolta.  Not worth the effort.  Jimmy slips into a Johnny T. impression.  Rogue Wave took Jimmy’s sunglass card window screen out too sea.   

70 – No sunscreen during shuttle viewing! 

Summer in the City

John Sebastian sings Welcome Back Kotter theme song. Also the lead singer of Lovin’ Spoonful.  Myq asks if Jimmy can be unbiased in saying John Hamm should have won an Emmy.  Dontrary to american belief it is not called Downtown Abbey.  It’s Downton Abbey.   I slam Madonna on why she’s getting booed, “I can only imagine it’s because she is performing new music.”


0 – And We’re Back!  Myq Kaplan’s headphone jack broke loose!  Sabotage!  (Sabataj!)  History of Myq:  Prince changes his name to symbol so Myq changes his to Myq. 

5 – Set up with Myq taking time from setting up release parties.  Myq knows Jimmy’s tone and that he doesn’t like signing other people’s shirts.  Jimmy loves Know Means Know t-shirt.  “We got potato wedges all day.  Isn’t that what they say in kitchens?” – Matt.

10 – “All day” = The total amount of that item needed for all orders in at that time.  Myq is a vegan AND a vegetarian.  Micah found Ross’ over sea treats delightful. 

15 – Nicknames for Myq and his dad:  Kappy.  Myqie Kaps.  Mikey Duncs.  (RIP Michael Clark Duncan) Ikes (Yikes!) always an hour wait.  “All Sammies” – Jimmy  Myq lists his Last Comic Standing cohorts.  “Corpsey.” 

20 – Jimmy loves a parade.  Ross works in a photography studio.  Does not know Mindy Tucker.  Ross is an Apple engineer (used to be an Apple Genius).  Jimmy slips into the Anka!  Micah says “We’re Different” is the track to check out to get you to buy the album.     Dice stops by!  They Might Be Giants is one of Myq’s favorite bands and has a hidden track BEFORE the start of the album.  Jimmy does not approve.  Jimmy also does not approve of Ben Folds.  “You guys gotta hear the new Nightranger.”  – Jimmy

25 – Myq’s dad is a Garth Brooks man.  Ross’ birthday JULY 4! “Get yourself a bottle rocket and shoot that out of your ass.”

30 – per Eliot the londoners practiced extra hard for the Olympics.  Jimmy hasn’t been to providence RI since 1996.

35 – How do you get a nun pregnant?  Fuck her.   Jimmy is fascinated by street jokes and where they come from.   Culdesac Jokes:  Fancy Street Jokes.  Micah has never played a corpse.  L”ay off the puns punsdeleon.”  Jimmy not a fan of puns.  Full Circle!  Matt full circled by not improving.  Fuuckk youu Betsy Reardon’s father (who also said “well pardo me.”)  Matt was allegedly raped by a joke. 

Anyone know a good aftermarket iPhone keyboard?

Find Micah @ MicahSherman.com

Myq and Micah’s album is Please Be Seated.  Buy it! 

And We’re done!

New nickname!  The Beast! 

[AK-47 gone, not forgotten]

-Garon/The Bionator/The New Dan Katz/Cuban Defector/The Beast