1011 – Bil Dwyer

 

PARDCAST.COM MESSAGE BOARD FOR THIS EPISODE

Intro

Episode 1011, never forget

You don’t know what happened on October 11

Ahab the Arab: horrible song

Jimmy’s in his flying pants

The Phoenix show heckler

“How much longer?” Potential Intro phrase (PIP)

An interesting wall-related test for immigrants

Jimmy has apparently never, ever watched the summer Olympics, or seen any news coverage of its events, even by accident

5:00

Dan’s sick day, and Eliot’s (non) snide e-mail reply

As discussed before, e-mail sucks

With Dan absent, Eliot muscles in on Dan’s 2 specialties: Googling, and getting shit on about Googling

Door Jams, every Sunday night

Eliot brings in giant rubber bands

Did we mention giant rubber bands on the show? [I don’t even know]

10:00

By The Time I Get to Phoenix

Flying from Phoenix with Heavy D and a Boy

We are not to blame for Whitney Houston’s death

[I said that the last mention of Whitney Houston, as recorded in Never Not Notes, was episode 625; since then, fans have pointed out that 812, which only has Dan’s notes, and Pardcastathon 2011 mentioned Whitney Houston. An appropriate Death Curse icon has been added to the Pardcastathon 2011 entry.]

Sadness over Whitney

15:00

Bil came on Pardcastathon like Joe Don Baker, with a bat

Fred Thompson and Ken Howard talk (now the guys are just tempting Death Curse fate)

Jimmy wants Eliot to have signage for his interruptions

Turn down your Discman volume, Bil Dwyer is here

Hair-powdered Bil on Hot in Cleveland

Nicki Minaj on the Grammys

Winning Lines game show with chairs on a wall

20:00

Friends on game shows

Jan Murray, old school comic

Louis CK and his downloadable comedy special

Live action Connect Four

Meredith Baxter (Birney optional)

Learn Spanish with Bil Dwyer

Eliot: Internet intermediary

25:00

Here begins the “misunderstood Tom Cruise movies” bit; with robots

Bil: “I’m tingling!” Potential Intro phrase (PIP)

Tom Cruise’s deleted full-frontal scene in All the Right Moves

The Tom Cruise movies, in chronological order

The Winning Lines “connect the dots” theme continues through the naming of the Cruise movies

Pat Francis is watching all the Tom Cruise movies (well, most of them)

30:00

Tom Cruise has had dental problems his whole life

Rock of Ages references

Actor Jack(ie) Earle Haley

Bil doesn’t know why he has to settle down about being a book reader. BOOKS!!!! HE READS BOOKS!!!! HE’S A BIG BOOK PERSON!!!!

35:00

Top Gun: good movie or horrible?

Controversy over the lyrics to Danger Zone: “Highway to” said zone, or “I went to” aformentinoed zone of danger?

It’s tough being wrong for 25 years, and not even knowing it, then finding out publicly on your own award-winning podcast

Many Tom Cruise movies are just “Top Gun somewhere else” according to Eliot

Matt gets a “mean to Eliot” flag on the play

Ironing out the early Tom Cruise movies

40:00

Piss-drinking movies

It’s weird that there’s no Wright Brothers movie

Bil tells about the turducken of hot dogs available at the 7-11

45:00

More about Tom Cruise movies

Rain Man memories

The guys have a long and difficult time remembering the name of “that Irish movie” Far and Away

Never Not Funny’s autistic listeners are furious

Born on the Fourth of July made Bil vigilant about a neighborhood invasion

50:00

The guys have a long and difficult time remembering the name of “that Irish movie” Far and Away

Jimmy: “I can’t answer that, NOR WILL I!” (That should be in the opening!)

The guys have a long and difficult time remembering the name of “that Irish movie” Far and Away

Minidiscs and Laserdiscs

Spoiler alert for 20 year old movies

Bil’s incessant chatter helps Matt come up with the movie title

55:00

Kevin Pollack movies

Was Far and Away a bomb? Budget $30,000,000 Gross $58,883,840

Ann Arbor Showcase: a good club

More Tom Cruise movie talk

1:00:00

What’s your favorite prequel?

Bil starts to spoil Rise of the Planet of the Apes for Matt

“Whiz-Machine” is now OUT, “Pulling a Costner” is IN! (Blame Pat Francis)

BREAK

This part of the show sponsored by OneKolor.com

Also sponsored by NeverNotNotes.com

“Darryl Asher does a terrific job”

[More undeserved credit to me for saying Whitney wasn’t mentioned since #625, but in fairness I can’t possibly write a note for every single name that is mentioned on every single episode. Or CAN I????]

Getting mad at the AST and Pardcast.com message board members who seemed to be insulting Gary Gulman, but was just writing word-for-word what Gary predicted some critical fan would write

It’s tough being wrong for a week about a joke comment from a fan about Gary Gulman, and not even knowing it, then finding out publicly on your own award-winning podcast

1:05:00

How many e-mail addresses does Matt have, that he really uses? WE MAY NEVER KNOW!!!!!

My Baby Wrote me a Letter

Jimmy explains the Never Not Funny curse to Bil

Late season 9 or after, and Never Not Funny is responsible for the curse (Pardcastathon 2011… yeah, that counts.)

Looks like we’re playing the Tom Cruise movie list game, but with Kurt Russell, and they can’t remember the name of that one movie about the airplane, but it’s EXECUTIVE DECISION, PEOPLE!!!

1:10:00

Unintentional (?) pun from Jimmy about the band Train (“Howard Stern loves those guys, but I just can’t get on board”)

Which “Pat” is the leader of Train?

Hard times in radio

WALL radio

Back to discussing the border wall

They still can’t figure out the name of the Kurt Russel airplane movie is EXECUTIVE DECISION

No one would ever guess Morton Downey, Jr. would be mentioned on this show (He is safe from the Death Curse; already dead)

Eliot finally finds out that the name of the Kurt Russell airplane movie is EXECUTIVE DECISION! JEEZ!!!!

Bil mixes up his presidential/holocaust movies

Who wants to watch Schindler’s List again?

1:15:00

Ralph Fiennes the sharpshooter

Was Gene Rayburn an actor?

A micro-appearance of Cajun Jimmy

Matt is being very unfair to Eliot today

Eliot is multitasking today: dumb and annoying

Bread in Jewville

Let the hat-throwing begin!

Revisiting Dave’s misunderstood internet post

Let the rubber-band horseplay begin!

1:20:00

Bil serves as announcer to Rubber Band Stretch 2000!

The new NNF curse: talk about people who are already dead

Fred Thompson’s movies

The subtle acting of Nick Cage and John Malkovich

Con Air doesn’t hold up

If a chimp wearing pants dies, blame it on the NNF Death Curse

Matt’s wrong-number text

1:25:00

Sentator Paul Simon is a good reference, according to Bil

The brain is a muscle; FLEX IT!

Creepy muscular old guy

Jimmy’s open-mic Gary Hart/Donna Rice joke is too strong

More about the Phoenix heckler

Bil’s washcloth bit vs. Jimmy’s towel bit

1:30:00

Jimmy’s towel bit: a strong closer, especially the weak tag

Jimmy’s Comedy Central special

Bil insists Todd Glass is not really gay, since he has seen him throw a snowball

Jimmy thinks Marc Maron is just trying to get ratings with rumors

Matt goes back to wondering how to reply to wrong-number texts

Tony Robbins gets mentioned for the second episode in a row, putting him into the Death Curse running

Rub your face, it feels good

Phoenix to LA, the longest short flight

Listeners used to know where Jimmy lives, and actually still do

1:35:00

Homey Hills and Folksy Valley

In the Summertime

Jimmy’s inefficient dual-keyboard

Touch Me Babe

Jeff Downs of Asia (you can figure out the jokes from here)

Jimmy’s imaginary audience starts heckling itself

Jimmy’s The World Stands Up heckler

1:40:00

Top heckler take-downs

Heroes

Bil wants to know if fans rank the episodes?

Jimmy clarifies the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes rules

Are vacuum cleaner salesmen still going door to door?

Going out on a strong Bil Dwyer line

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

No in-studio notes by Dan Katz. He was out sick. With pink eye. I guess that’s what he means by “sick.”