NeverNotNotes

1502 – Playing the Game with Ben Schwartz

 

Ben Schwartz

Ben Schwartz

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In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1502 – Ben Schwartz

@rejectedjokes

www.rejectedjokes.com

00 – Welcome to the free feed via earwolf.com! We’re thrilled to be a part of that family. Great Players Club last week with Bill Dwyer! There’s a chance you heard it anyway. (Bill’s loud). Steve Dahl also called in!

Jimmy saw Guardians of the Galaxy and found it to be fine. He’s not a superhero guy and is probably not a Sci-fi guy.  It bored the fuck out of him apparently.

Jimmy notices Eliot’s sweater vest. It’s tucked in.

I’m 19 now?  Lotta reasons why to think that.

05 – Get Down On It – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qchPLaiKocI

Kool & The Gang

Average White Band – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_White_Band

Jimmy wants a Sirius channel dedicated to Casey Kasem countdowns so he can hear those special songs in the 32 – 40 spots since they don’t play them very much.

10 – Outa-Space – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outa-Space

Matt guesses Kool and the Gang.

It’s 104 degrees outside and Eliot is wearing wool.  Core heat!

15 – Setlist for Kool and the Gang. http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/kool-and-the-gang/2012/staples-center-los-angeles-ca-5bdfcb3c.html

Lots of nice posts in the NNF Fan page (not the official page).

Jimmy saw some unfortunate drama on my Facebook page

Jimmy saw some unfortunate drama on my Facebook page

Everything’s done with a wink!

Cooze means nothing to Jimmy. It’s just an annoyance.

Jimmy finally got to Cedar Rapids and Penguins. Had a great show and wondered what it takes to get a standing O in that town.  Still a great show though!

Jimmy talks about the people he met.  A lot of NNF fans showed up!

Jimmy did a 6k run Saturday morning in Cedar Rapids.  It went into a quarry. So that means he had to run OUT of that quarry.  His quads were in pain later that day.

He talks about coming early like you would in los angeles. Turns out he didn’t need to come early at all. Just means that he was 30 minutes early. Not a lot of people there.  He had a great time! 34:18 time approx.

Listener Mike invited Jimmy to the run. He was that asshole that runs shirtless so Jimmy made a lot of gay run jokes that night.

20 – Another guy ran with knee length denim shorts and a tucked in shorts. He was kicking Jimmy’s ass.  The hill out was a game changer.  Some old man was yelling at his daughter or his young wife. “No rest for the wicked!” He also ran weirdly.  “On your left!”

Jimmy mentions the Talking Bread bit on Conan last week with Chris Hardwick.

25 – There was an asshole in the audience on Saturday night. Jimmy handled him well.  Jimmy just doesn’t have the interest in ripping apart hecklers anymore like he did in his 20s and 30s.

Bob Zany is in a funniest guy contest. Go to bobzany.com and click the link.

Jimmy sings…something…wants Matt to guess who.

Band with a guys name.

30 – We go through the kool and the gang setlist

Jimmy talks ted cruz and

35 – Emergency – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJgGpNjAJLE&feature=player_embedded

Jimmy opens the floor to questions. Eliot asks how many CCs Jimmy’s cock is. His answer: 10.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kool_and_the_gang

Ben Schwrtz is our guest!

We’ll be right back!
We’re back! Supermoon edition! Live is only a super moon. Tatum O’Neil taught us this. She and Ryan were in Paper Moon.

Paul O’Neill 0 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_O%27Neill_(baseball)

Ben is an o’neil expert apparently.

Jimmy does some Robin Williams. Ben says it sounds like a Gremlin doing Robin Williams.

Ben wants to know Jimmy’s favorite shows as a kid.

Jimmy answers Happy Days, Welcome Back Kotter, Charlie’s Angels, Rich Man Poor Man, Roots. Also Baretta, Starsky and Hutch,.

40 – Huggy Bear was played by Antonio Fargas. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0267279/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Jimmy tries some Bill Cosby.

He also does his Schreveport guy.

Ben talks about a guy in the front row of a show he was in had a package of presealed wine glasses. This was at UCB LA. Ben performs every week at UCB LA. Sundays at 11.

45 – Ben talks about his improve shows.

UCB – http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/schedule/#today

Jimmy talks about his friend’s tennis court diarrhea incident and someone bringing it up at a show years later and it causing Jimmy to freeze up.

The guys talk bombing in comedy vs improv.

Jimmy says it’s 99% the audience if the comic is giving their all and the audience isn’t buying it.

50 – What is Jimmy’s favorite cuss word?

Ben just had a great sketch idea based around the Inside The Actor’s Studio asking what an actor’s favorite swear is.

Jimmy sings Green Acres. Eliot chimes in. Jimmy rages.  Matt tells him to stick the sweater vest in his mouth.

Jimmy jumps on the couch to compare himself to his old picture.

Jimmy introduces Ben to Phil Hendrie.

55 – Carlons Mencia – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Mencia

The guys talk Stephen Tobolowsky – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Tobolowsky

Albert Brooks is the #1 get right now.

Ben sings Chip Chinnery to Chim Chiminy from Mary Poppins. Jimmy finishes it perfectly.

Jimmy’s gotta get in this Hot Slacks show.

Jimmy talks about Chip Chinnery’s party and Mike Siegel finding old pictures of everyone from a birthday party in 1997. Jimmy says he looks really fat.

BAT = lady BAR = gentleman. Mitzvahs. Ben suggests asking about transgender mitzvahs with the rabbi on next week.

Ben is in This Is Where I Leave You! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH0cEP0mvlU

60 – Lots of gay small talk with Andy Richter and Jimmy at the gym. Jimmy runs minimum 3 miles. He listens to mostly Phil Hendrie and music.

Phil Hendrie was on Jimmy’s plane back from Chicago. Neither of them wanted to move seats so they kept talking to each other over the people in the row between them.  Jimmy not  fan of the selfie.

65 – Jimmy’s age and appearance depressed Ben. He says Jimmy is in better shape that he is.

Ben drops the Seinfeld us. Ben challenges Jimmy to name the rabbi coming on Jimmy says Rosenbaum. Ben expected Dradelwiez.

Jimmy talks about meeting Danielle the first time at the aforementioned Mike Siegel birthday party.  He said he knew he was gonna marry her.

70 – Jimmy talks about his daughter bit that he does live. Recently this woman he did it with was NOT on board with the bit.

T-Shirt Design Contest! Listeners design the t-shirt! No Parameters. It can be about season 15, characters on the show, me.  Matt says no eliot. Jimmy denies that claim.

Jimmy on board with Eliot on a bike ET style with the rest of us in the basket.
We’re back!

We had a little music coming from next door but it seems back.

Around the horn! Well until Jimmy got distracted by a set of Alan Wrenches.

75 – Spencer’s Gift still exists, as does Brookstone. Ben bought stamps recently! Jimmy suggests Stamps.com with the code JIMMY.

Eliot chimes in on the stamps.com site and printing the postage.

I was at the Bowl this weekend.

The Greek is great and better per Jimmy.

Ben is going to see John Legend doing Marvin Gaye.

Jimmy’s first instinct on calling breasts (besides putting dick between them) is “oh look at those.”

80 – 2 years in a row Jimmy had Jimmy Pardo week at the UCB Theater.  He was that big.  Jimmy says that Ben would have been grreeattt on Bluff You aka Running Your Trap.

Jimmy doesn’t understand why Miyam Bialik is hosting Candid Camera.

Oliver’s favorite comedy movie: “I gotta say Big Bang Theory.” He’s seen 2 episodes.

Ben asks what movies Oliver loves.  He asks if Oliver watches his show Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja.  Jimmy said no, he found it too jewey.

Ben LOVED Guardians of the Galaxy.  Jimmy laughed like five times.

Oliver loved it. But Jimmy made him go out to the bathroom. He was mad about it.

Ben and Jimmy first met on Conan about a year ago.

The guys go through the 2013 lineup of pardcastathon.

Paul Williams wrote the lyrics to the Love Boat theme song. Charles Fox wrote the music. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Boat_(song)

90 – Lovin spoonfuls – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lovin%27_Spoonful#Singles

The guys talk about crazy photograph coincidences like a couple being at Disneyland together as kids and never knowing it.

Total Drama Island is the cartoon Jimmy is talking about – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Drama_Island

Back to the future is Ben’s favorite movie of all time.

Matt asks everyone what he did yesterday. Both Jimmy and Ben suggest that he jacked off.

Ben loves Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  Everyone agrees.

Matt talks about temple of doom. Ben asks if this is Matt’s standup.  Jimmy laughs incredibly hard.

100 – Matt talks about telling Zoe about Back to the Future while they built the Lego version of the Delorean.

Ben just did a movie with Robert Zemeckis called the Walk based on the Man on Wire documentary.

Jimmy does his True or False bit.

He talks about doing a Doug Benson show at UCB with movie clips. Can’t remember the name.

105 – We’re done!  Good episode!

A pleasure!

Get your T-Shirt Designs in by August 31! Pardcast@gmail.com

See ya next time!

“Damnit it’s great!”

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper