1420 – Hitching a Ride with Todd Glass
In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell
Editing and additional notes by Darryl Asher
00 – 1420! Hello everyone indeed welcome! 6/16 comes out 6/19.
My roll is slowed guys. Jimmy’s got some new shoes on sale for $38 bucks! Matt doesn’t think they have the arch support he needs but Jimmy disagrees.
Jimmy does a little Bill Squire. The Stroke is about the Music Business. http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=19310
Tyler Texas over the weekend! Jimmy ended up doing a 5K while he was there. He did a show at the Liberty Theater, great venue, great crowd.
05 –Brandon Davidson did great also! Plus another kid named Tyler Eliot. @TylerInTyler. Jimmy was glad to see new faces out there on the road. Jimmy landed right in rush hour so it took him like 45 minutes to get from the airport to Tyler. Apparently all Jimmy’s exes live down in texas and one of them works in the best little whorehouse.
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083642/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Jimmy got a Standing O in Tyler.
10 – Lotta rhyming going on today. Jimmy hosted the Beastly Ball on Saturday. Matt makes up a song parody. Jimmy keyboards/drums along. It was an interlude from a Beastie Boys album.
The Beastly Ball went great this year. Betty White’s manager gets it! She turned 92 this year. Jimmy said she was laughing at him now and then.
Jimmy talks about an auction for Betty and the Beasts zoo tour.
15 – We’re gambling on how much that tour went for.
One of the items was a helicopter ride with the LAPD. Jimmy and Matt discuss the cracking of that walk way on the Willis tower.
Jimmy was back at the Queen Mary again for Father’s Day.
Jimmy doesn’t know the alphabet.
$55,000 that tour went for! The crowd went nuts while this was happening. Jimmy says it was a lot of fun. His buddy who attacked him was there again. He also apologized. Jimmy made some jokes when he was talking and he doesn’t think the guy likes it.
Todd Glass is here!
We’re both in black shirts.
We had a guy come to the door with a package for us.
25 – Eliot is sent to apologize again! Jimmy thinks Eliot was out of line with the guy at the door.
Todd apparently almost made Jimmy quite twitter. We’ll hear about it.
Looks like the first mention of Jimmy’s Beast attack was on episode 1101 with Graham Elwood.
Jimmy got to pet a possum!
30 – Jimmy wonders what the possum ever did. IT’s the zsa zsa gabor of the animal kingdom.
Possom and Opossoms are two different animals. http://blog.dictionary.com/possum-opossum/
Jimmy got to pet the head of Irving, the possum or opossom.
Jimmy ran the Culver City 10k! He’s a bit tired today. He saw the comedy fan on the queen mary again.
Todd Glass is here! Get used to it!
Todd is in Jimmy’s top 37 funniest people he’s ever met.
You can get all past seasons and episodes at NeverNotFunny.com! (also Pardcast.com)
Jimmy hopes the new Earwolf CEO cleans house a bit. Earwolf is the majors! Matt tries to compare it to Soccer. Jimmy isn’t accepting it. Upon further explanation from Matt, Jimmy is on board!
Jimmy talks about a couple teams getting bounced out of the baseball league.
Jimmy thinks there is some kind of rally today.
We’ll be back!
35 – We’re back! Everyone’s here.
Jimmy takes a moment to address the death of Casey Kasem. It’s a sad day, he is a legend and all of us had experienced his work in our lives.
We miss him. He’s up top.
40 – We also lost Tony Gwynn today. Great baseball player from San Diego. Jimmy said he had one of the sweetest swing.
Tony Gwynn had 23 strikeouts in 606 at-bats. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Gwynn
NNF coming to Austin! It’s the biggest market we haven’t been too yet.
June 22, Sunday Afternoon 3PM! Austin better be full! Go to JimmyPardo.com for details! Or click here https://cap-city-comedy-club.seatengine.com/venues/cap-city-comedy-club
Todd had a lot of fun waiting to come on the show. He comes to the defense of Eliot.
Here are some books on Zen and Driving as described by Todd. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=zen%20driving&sprefix=zen+drivi%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Azen%20driving
45 – If you argue with an idiot from afar no one can tell who the idiot is (or something) is what Todd Quotes.
Jimmy talks about a traffic incident he had recently. The guy in front of him caused Jimmy to be blocking traffic so Jimmy started screaming about it. He stopped next to a cabby and they had a laugh about it.
“This guy knows moms” Matt on Jimmy.
Ed Sheeran Demi Lovato guys!
50 – Eliot’s here, we call him The Rude Guy. Jimmy wants to give a example of Eliot but Todd’s on a roll about giving people lie detectors about if they’re aware they’re manipulating people.
Eliot wants to elaborate on what he meant when he said it’s tiring to be nice all the time. Eliot explains his theories on niceness.
55 – Jimmy gives his example. It’s a facebook comment: “for the record I was aware of this.”
Todd says “sometimes tone and sarcasm is lost” in regards to tweets, facebook, etc.
The guys talk about facebook posting and expecting people to comment on it or not.
Maybe don’t make short jokes at Jimmy when you are asking for a favor even if you think you’re just busting chops.
60 – People love to pile on Eliot on the facebook page but lets all remember he would not be here if we did not want him here.
Matt takes over the introductions while Jimmy answers a text.
Todd Glass has a book out called The Todd Glass Situation! http://www.amazon.com/The-Todd-Glass-Situation-Personal/dp/147671441X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1402951442&sr=8-1&keywords=todd+glass
Jimmy gets a mention in the book! He throws it away after discovering he is not in the acknowledgements.
65 – Todd popped three advils to avoid a headache.
Ibuprofen – http://www.med-health.net/Too-Much-Ibuprofen.html
The floor is open for questions! Eliot confirms with Jimmy first and the floor is indeed open for questions.
Todd eventually asks if Jimmy had ever taken Vicodin recreationally. He has not. He’s not David Spade (no knowledge if spade had ever taken vicodin, it’s for humor!) or Matthew Perry.
Matthew Perry got Todd his guest spot on Friends. Todd has taken vicodin recreationally. He talks about experiences with it. Todd says he has lived a mostly drama free life. Jimmy brings up the fact that he lived a lie for 45 years. Todd, “you’re right.”
70 – Todd took a vicodin before going to a Ruths Criss steak house. He enjoyed it. Apparently, Jimmy has a drawer full of vicodin and valium. It constipates him. He was on it when he had the epiditmitus.
Jimmy goes back to Tony Gwynn, he was 54 and died of cancer. Jimmy’s one regret is all the years on the road not exercising at all on the road. Instead he got bloated and drunk and was a sloth.
Jimmy’s in great shape and so was Tony Gwynn. “Cancer gets ya!” – Jimmy.
75 – Todd talks about his aunt who is 93. She’s still sharp but she is ready to go. Jimmy asks if Todd thought about murdering her.
We’ll be back!
Nature Box is helping to promote us! Naturebox.com/NeverNotFunny
Todd QVCs Nature Box.
He doesn’t like being lied to! Todd wants to see that copy before he gets to his car.
80 – Todd almost walks out upon hearing Nature Box delivers. He thinks it is another lie. It’s not! This proves there is a god.
Todd thinks the nature box box costs extra. Jimmy explains otherwise.
Todd is going to start using Author Todd Glass at restaurants.
Jimmy tells a story about having a hostess act like he came in all the time when he was coming in with Scott and BJ Porter.
Jimmy asks if Todd Glass can make orange chicken.
90 – Jimmy got ASMR IN THE ROOM! Todd talks about ASMR, Restless Leg Syndrome, and other things becoming a normal part of society.
Matt wonders if the vicodin has anything to do with Restless Leg.
Jimmy’s gotta face it, he’s addicted to love. He’s gotta admit it.
He goes back and explains why the naturebox ad was on the video. It was Todd doing a bit and we love it.
Joe Dimaggio – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_dimaggio#Major_league_career
Jimmy apologizes Joe DiMaggio is as good as everyone says.
100 – Celeb Sighting!
Gary Cole of Veep fame.
Jimmy asks if Todd’s favorite show is Barney Miller. Todd laughs crazily!
Jimmy suggests Todd go back and revisit Barney Miller, it’s great.
Jimmy thinks Mash is pat’s favorite show of all time.
Welcome Back Kotter was a show you watched and talked about at school the next day. Mary Tyler Moore is not. Kotter might not hold up as well anymore.
Per Carl Reiner, a way to keep a show timeless is no slang usage!
120 – We had to edit something out. We cut the neighbor coming to the door out. Jimmy brings it up because we always joke about how we never get yelled at for being loud and it happened today!
Dice’s Lady is here!
Todd is Uber heavy today.
The short answer on Todd’s twitter is it’s fun to watch people get a lot of money.
Jimmy and Todd discuss twitter.
Don’t say curtain it’s too feminine. Drapes.
Jimmy agrees with everything Todd says about comedy clubs.
Jimmy’s on the floor.
It’sa Pizza pipe!
We’re out! Eliot is the Condescender now.
Garon/The Beast/Mush Mouth Shy Guy/The Notekeeper