1410 – Getting Loose with Lauren Ash

Lauren Ash

Lauren Ash

Listen to the episode for free, right here.

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

00 – Helloooo! Welcome to episode 1410! Yeah! Matt and Jimmy had a busy weekend. We have some guests. Graham has his Earbuds crew here shooting for the documentary. Graham makes a cameo as the wacky neighbor. Graham is directing the documentary Earbuds. This is all happening thanks to NNF pushing through the last of the funding on Kickstarter.

We got a boom mic, a guy with a monopod, and a guy with a steady cam set up. Jimmy thinks he may have had aids as a kid but nirvana cured it. Smells Like Teen Spirit = Bye Bye Aids.

Jimmy wonders if the Bill Hicks adage about people fucking in the streets once aids is cured would be true.

Once gays can vote the animal fucking starts.

05 – Jimmy tells the story about the antigay guy behind Danielle at a grocery store who compared gay marriage to bestiality. “The chimps love it!” – Jimmy

Inside The Mind of a Chimp is a great show on HBO.

Mike Binder –
Mike WROTE Coupe Deville

Rattle and Hum – – was recorded at Sun Studios.
10 – Boom operator confirms Jimmy said Atomic Pop. Condescending Joe over on Boom. Boom Brian. Jimmy goes under the boom!

This show bought their equipment. It’s not science, so says Jimmy. We’re back to aids!

The trailer for The Ring was frightening. Jimmy says the movie is a shrug.

Ringu is Japanese –

15 – Oliver was afraid of a scene in Peabody. Apparently Zoe got scared by a scene in The Muppets sequel. She was scared by the scene were Kermit was arrested. She’s not a fan of movie theaters in general. She was also hiding from the Malificent trailer.

Earbuds will be out probably Spring 2015. Earbuds: The Podcasting Doc.

I ran outside to meet our guest.

We’ll be right back!

Welcome back!

So many cameras!

20 – PCB Kickstarter coming soon.

The Rise and Fall of The Clash Review –

It was crazy in here with the crew. No one touched Eliot’s equipment. Jimmy called Eliot’s moisture joke Dry but not as a comedy.

Our guest today is from Super Fun Night. Lauren Ash!

Jimmy and Lauren have like 9 friends in common. She and Jimmy discuss “Nugg.” Who is too thin now.

24 bleep.

25 – Jimmy and Matt briefly considered a Guitar Hero themed bonus episode but both lost interest.

Jimmy and Oliver went to the LA Kiss opening day over the weekend.

Jimmy has more tolerance for Catholic people than he does for Bears fans.

Jimmy bought season tickets for LA Kiss sight unseen. His seats (section 410 row P) SUCK but it was a helluva lot of fun. HE had a really tall guy sitting in front of him. He described him as Abe Lincoln and the Monopoly Money guy.

Lauren says it’s inappropriate for someone to wear a top hat to a game.

30 – Jimmy considers ways to guard against the AC that blows on half of his face at the game.

Burn notice ended in 2013.

Jimmy reiterates that Philadelphia is still in his Top 3 films along with Breaking Away and Planet of the Apes.

Lauren just watched Love Story for the first time and called it a piece of crap but just watched An Affair to Remember and loved it.

Love Story –

Jimmy saw Eyes Wide Shut the same day he had his last drink. July 18, 1999.

Jimmy plays Who’s Canadian with Lauren. She wins. Jimmy searches for some April Wine. Apparently he deleted them.

35 – Jimmy has two FB pages. One for the scum and one for his family.

Matt likes Jewel’s snaggletooth. Jimmy called in to get better tickets for the LA Kiss games. Jimmy describes the stadium included the Steel Panther opening the game and women in cages.

40 – more LA Kiss Tidbits – time out = guys on BMX bikes doing tricks. Kiss Girls dancing. Acrobats. Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons came out to welcome everyone. Horrible sound. Paul Stanley talked forever apparently, may still be talking. “Enough talking, let’s win this thing!” – Gene Simmons. That’s all he said.

Bikerhead – Oliver. Lemmy from Motorhead did the coin flip.

45 – Apparently, Lauren never met her dad. Lauren said her and her mom were like the Gilmore Girls. Lauren is Canadian and a big fan of the Blue Jays. She also lived in Chicago for a while. She was on main stage at Second City and lived next door.

Jimmy and Lauren discuss bars near where she lived. She moved to LA had an accident and went back to Canada. Felt she wasn’t returning to LA but landed Super Fun Night and came back.

No word on whether it’s getting a Season 2. Jimmy knows the show runner John Rigi. He used to open for him.

50 – Apparently Paul Stanley played The Phantom in Toronto. Some nights Paul would call sick or whatever and when the announcement was made people would groan and tons of people dressed in Kiss gear would leave.

Oliver loved the game.

They left a little early but ended up sitting in someone else’s seats 10 rows closer. Night and Day.

Jimmy calls the LA Kiss ticket line so we can hear Gene Simmons voicemail message. Essentially, call us back we won’t call you.

55 – Let’s get more people in the LA Kiss ticket office so Jimmy can get better tickets.

Lauren has had some online dating nightmares. Three different guys making rape jokes with her. It’s dire out there. One guy referred to her vagina as sushi!

Lauren says if you wanna have sex with her just say that don’t lie and try to nurse a relationship to get it.

60 – One guy on eHarmony had a profile picture of himself in full John Wayne Gacy clown gear. Lauren goes through the eHarmony icebreaker steps.

Jimmy wonders if Coffee is a euphemism for cock.

Eliot comments on his experiences. Jimmy wonders what people would think of Eliot’s icebreaker answers. Lauren calls Tinder a bad way to meet people but a fun game to play.

Eliot’s got a question. He wonders if women get pictures on Tinder of people advertising something. She sees a lot of people looking for instagram followers.

65 – Jimmy’s gotta pee! Jimmy trying to resist the cupcakes she brought.

We’ll be right back!

Welcome back! We’re here with Lauren Ash! Matt calls it a Super Fun Day.

Jimmy and Matt did something over the weekend that Jimmy was about to tell us about until Eliot dropped something.

Jimmy would have put money on someone being Philip Baker Hall but it wasn’t. Lauren liked Bad Words. Jimmy said some parts just went a step too far. Lauren loved the little boy in the movie.

70 – This weekend Jimmy and Matt did the Warrior Dash! Mike Seigel, Matt, Jimmy, Chip Chinnery. and Mike Valerio (Sp?). Pat and Mike Schmidt couldn’t make it. Jimmy had lots of fun last year when he ran with his friends. Not so much this year when Matt and Mike took off trying to win the race.

Apparently, Mike was actually cutting off Matt to get to the front of the mud.

Matt got 39 minutes. Jimmy got 49 minutes, which he doesn’t get. Clock controversy? Jimmy tore his quad muscles again.

This year started with climbing tires. New thing this year was having to cross a river. Lauren is worried about foot rot.

Lauren talks about breaking her foot one day during a fight with her boyfriend at the time. She then said her favorite quote of all time, “Be a cowboy and get be a blanket!”

Jimmy talks about that guy who stepped on a crack. Broke his mothers back immediately. Lauren asks if we’ve heard of the guy who stepped on the painted line. Broke her spine.

80 – Matt asks if Oliver is down with the crack. Jimmy says yeah he’s down under a bridge hitting the pipe.

“Step on a crack, break your mother’s back” dates to at least 1905.

“Step on a nail, put your father in jail” dates to at least 1925. 

“Step in a hole, you’ll break your mother’s sugar bowl” dates to around 1933. 

“Step on a line, you break your mother’s spine” dates to at least 1936. Poor mom! 

“Step in a ditch, your mother’s nose will itch” dates to at least 1962.

Apparently George Clooney doesn’t wear makeup?

Under the Banner of Heaven –

The Source Family –

Tania Head is the subject of the 9/11 documentary.

85 – The Doc that Lauren is talking about:

Jimmy tries to decide whether to watch Girl Model with or without Danielle.

He decides to watch the Tiffany fan documentary instead thanks to Matt.

90 – No one approves of Laurens use of “Za” nor her character she just brought out.

Jimmy can’t swipe Oliver out he’s got season tickets! $2200 for front row LA Kiss tickets. Lauren might allocate her online dating funds to that so she can meet a player who might drop into her lap during a game.

First arena team to have an all silver field. Jimmy mocks all of it but they had a great time. He even said that the uniforms looked great in person. Chip buddy. Hotdog bun with French fries and mayo. No hot dog.

95 – Lauren’s gonan bring Chip Buddies next time she’s on the show. Jimmy says she just uninvited herself.

Chip Butty –
Scotch Egg –

The Happy bet is apparently off guys but Matt still wants to know how many times he missed Happy today.

Today is the ACTUAL 8th Anniversary of the release of the first episode!

A joy! This should have happened ages ago. Nuggs podcast is called Illusionoid.

Colored Sets sounds wrong.

We love Lauren!

We’re done!

My pleasure,

Garon/The Beast